Thursday, June 29, 2006

Part 6... And so it ends....

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Part 6.... And so it ends.....

Current mood: happy

We get some gas and head on home. My home that is. Well considering that I only live less than a mile from the Hess. We pull up in front of the house and unload the car of all of Lances stuff. He loaded up his car and then hung out with us for a few minutes. I hated to see him leave. He promised to call me when he made it home.

My daughter on the other hand was bouncing all over the place as usual. She is already attached to Lance but now she has latched on to Christy as well. Not that anyone is complaining. Shes like a leech though. Sucks the energy right out of ya. Now if only I could bottle it up and sell it on Ebay I could live quite nicely.

We grab the brat and load up her stuff. We head back out on the road again. This time heading south to the camp for the night. My daughter knows all the sights and we both point out stuff for Christy. The mountains and the three bears. Yeah you read that right. The three bears. Along the road there is a really nice ranch that has three bears sitting out by the entrance. They are made of wood. Dont worry, these dont bite.

The funny thing is that I asked Cam what else was at the ranch and she said Easter Eggs. Huh? I had to stop and think for a sec there. HA!!! We went to the camp at Easter time and there was a basket of eggs with the bears. Took me a minute there. Anyways, I was actually refering to the horses that are at the ranch. Hmmmm..... Whats more important, Easter eggs or horses?

The view of the mountains was beautiful as usual. Its getting dark but you can still see them. We head off the main roads and hit the back roads. I really wanted to show her the frog pond but there werent any frogs on the road that night. Not that she would have prefered to hear them pop under the tires. It was just something that I always though was very cool to see at night.

We pull into the camp about 8 or so and it seemed that everyone was out and about. I didnt bother stopping at the office because there was alot of peeps around and I didnt want to wait. Not that I wanted to hurry to get to my trailer but for the fact that I, yep, once again, had to pee.

Now mind you that I dont live alone there. My mom and Mousie live there too. They in turn have been doing alot of decorating this year. So much so that every time I appear, there is something new and different about the place. Not that I mind as it is always entertaining to me. Let them be happy. Sometimes I think they get too happy with the place though. Especially tonight.

As we approach the trailer, I notice something new. Something bright. Something shiny. Something light. Well maybe not light as in weight but something light as in a 6 foot tall lighted palm tree on the deck. HolyDonHo, what the hell is that for? Well I knew they wanted one but now I have this insane urge to get out my grass skirt. Ok so I dont have a grass skirt but the thought was there.

Not only was there a palm tree on the deck but they had also set up a disco ball. A lighted one no less. Now lets visualize for a second. Along the whole back of the deck there is a painted bambo scene of jumping dolphins that cover the view of the trailer. Hanging from the ceiling of the deck are fishing nets with shells of every kind. Some hanging from the net. There is also some homemade windchimes with shells on them hanging as well. Now join this with the lighted palm tree and the disco ball and the only thought in my head was the theme song from the Oyster Bar in Police Academy.

My mom was happy to see us and once Christy revealed that she was a coffee junkie, my mom had found a kindred spirit. While they did the meet and greet, I went to the bathroom and then unloaded the car. Mousie set up the fire to burn green and blue and we sat down and had something to eat. Cam was still bouncing all over the place and was upset that we werent up to par with playing a Bratz board game with her.

Christy saw the famous golfcart first hand and well, the other two that we have. Mom left me the 4x4 just in case we needed to come get them for some reason. Mousie has another campsite on the other side of the lake and thats where they would be for the night. Not that I would be willing to venture out in the dark with a 4x4 though. Yeah sounds like a blast and trust me, it truely is, but I was exhausted. Not to mention that I wasnt in the mood to come face to face with a bear that night. And no not the wooden ones back at the ranch either.

I left my cell phone on and Im getting a little discouraged because I have not heard from Lance yet. I will buzz him in the morning if I dont hear from him by then.

We hang out on the deck for a while enjoying the quiet and relaxing after a long day. Yeah we talked about the day and gossiped a little. Mostly about Jose. He he he. Dont worry Jose, it was all good. We then went in and settled down to hang out with Cam for a while. She was still bouncing around. How the hell does this child do it?

We hit the sheets a short time later. That was after I peeled her off of Christy. Once my head hit the pillows, I was out like a light. Very rarely does that happen. Very rarely. Cam was out too. 'Bout damn time if you ask me. LOLOL

I wake up the next morning to my mom moving around the trailer. Im sure that there is coffee made. Yep...I can smell it. It also didnt have anything to do with the fact that Cam is up to her normal energy level of walking on Jupiter.

I drag my sorry butt out of bed and proceed to move outside to the deck. Mom is making breakfast and we are just coming to life. I think I can open my other eye now. Ow... Nope, too bright out to be doing that. Give me a few more minutes. Christy of course is sucking down a pot of coffee. I just cant do that. I have to have Pepsi. Im not a coffee drinker unless it involves ice and whipeed cream. Get those thoughts out of yer noggin. Im not that way this early in the morning. Its legit this time.

After we eat my mom shows her some of her silly toys. I cant exactly mention them here because that would get me in alot of trouble. But now you know where I get it from. LOLOL You have met the woman first hand. Sometimes it even makes me wonder. ;o)

So now that Christy is showered and ready to face the day, my mom kidnaps her and takes her for a joy ride around the park. I didnt hear any screaming so I knew that mom didnt take her up the 4 wheeling trail. Trust me, I like 4 wheeling but I myself almost flipped the cart on this trail. Not for the faint at heart. But whould I do it again? You betcha.

Now its time to hit the road to make it to the airport on time. We take the short route. I show her some of the sights on that route and she got to see the place I grew up in. Small little town that you cant blink in.

We get to the airport after passing the infamous mall yet another time around. I pull up out front and we unload. Im really upset to see her have to leave. Ive had so much fun and yeah I started to cry. Hell I cried all the way home.

Thank you guys for a great weekend. I love each and every one of you. I had a blast and I really hope you guys did too. I really enjoyed meeting you all and I really really really hope that we can do this again soon.

Oh and I did hear from Lance later that evening. As he says, some dumb guy forgot to charge his phone all weekend.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Part 5

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Part 5

Current mood: amused

We now are on the tram heading to the park. Its still a misty rain but who cares. Im here to have fun with my friends. Lance and I already have tickets so we are ready to go. Up a butt load of stairs, across the road on a walk bridge and then back down. Ok ride over. Hey Lance, tie your shoes.

We get to the ticket booth and the gang forms two lines. Lance and I wait just inside so we dont continue to get wet. Not that I am wearing a white shirt or anything. Nope. I wore blue.

Christy and Hallie get their tickets and stand in there with us. Right behind them comes Nick and Jose. In the mean time some dude approaches Hallie and starts up a survey. Nick is behind the guy making guestures of one form or another and we all start cracking up. Hallie holds a straight face and actually answers the guy. If he came over to us then we would have just said that we were with her. Ya know, just so he would go away.

We are waiting for John and Michele. Whats taking them so long? They finally come in and announce that John was charged by his height. That must have put them into bankruptsy. Once that was done, we head off to find some fun. Of course I had to go find a bathroom again. What the hell is up? I dont think I have peed this many times ever in my life. While in the bathroom I get a call from Girlie and I came back outside. The phone was passed around a little and she was happy to hear some voices of those she has come to love.

We wander around and try to determine which way to go first. This alone was a task of adventure. So we finally decide on a direction and off we go. First up is the Pandemonium. There is no way that Im riding this. I dont care how much you drag me kicking and screaming. Ok so it wasnt that bad but it did spin so thats a no-no in my book.

John, Michele, Nick and Hallie decided to brave that one out. While they were in line, Lance, Jose, Whosie and myself decided to hang out and wait to catch them on the ride for some pictures. Jose and Whosie went for a small stroll and were watching a little show that had some of the characters dancing. We had a fun time trying to determine if Bugs was a chick or not.
Lance and I watched the others board the ride. Once it started going we waited for them to pass us. Suddenly we heard this blood curdling scream and at first we thought it was John. When they went past we saw Michele and John cuddled together in fear while Hallie and Nick were laughing. At least we now know where the screams were coming from. Once off the ride, John showed us his shoulder that was now missing a good chunk of skin. Remind me not to ride that ride.

Next up was the Flashback. Im all for this ride and it seemed that Whosie and John were too. The others chickened out. Something about the clicking noise. So I get on in a cart behind John and Whosie. The overhead shoulder restraint thingy came down and crushed my cans. If that wasnt bad enough, the ride attendant came along and pushed on it to make sure it was tight. This is turn caused one can to make a single appearance and it was a hell of a show to the attendant. He said opps and walked away. Well gee thanks. Then the butthead had the nerve to wave at me and tell me to enjoy the ride. Im sure he was enjoying it himself. At least it wasnt my ass this time.

After this we decide to wander around some more. We head towards the Houdini thing. This was pretty cool and I liked it alot. On this ride was John, Michele, Nick, Hallie and myself. Next to me on my right was this lady with the biggest eyes I have ever seen. The ride was an awesome illusion. Once outside we sort of hung out for a few moments to gather our wits. That ride did mess with our heads alittle.

We start wandering again and the guys found an air hockey table and started playing. Michele went to the nearest bench and sat down. About half way through the second game we look over and Michele was off the bench and leaning over the curb. She left some of her breakfast there and was feeling a little better. John in turn needed to check it out and then remarked how neat she was about it. If it had been him he would have sprayed the fence. Well lets not find out shall we.

Now for some unknown reason that is beyond me, the others decide to head towards the Superman ride and also in search of food. Im really not up for eating anything until Im ready to leave the park. Just not my thing to eat and ride. Christy and I were the only ones that wanted to ride the roller coasters but we couldnt on this one because she wasnt tall enough. No big deal. We can now go shopping though. :o)

We meet up with the others and head for food. Lance and I hit one of the shops instead. We joined the others and hung out for a little while. Then we went to see the most weirdest show I have ever seen. Something about bad acting and spandex. The pyrotechnics were pretty cool though.

Now we are looking at the time. Lance has a long drive home from my house and thats 2 hours away as it was. We all decided on one more ride and then we can head out. Nick, John and Hallie chose the Buzzsaw. When they got off, Nick was saying something about wanting to toss around the chain-nazi. I would have paid to see that.

Everyone wanted to ride the New England Skyway. This is a little blue cage thingy that only two can ride in. Lance had been wanting to ride that all day. So up the steps we go. Its our turn to get on the ride. Nick rode with Hallie and John rode with Michele. The lady there was frightening. The Looney Toons theme song was playing and it was driving us all nuts. As the lady was pushing us off she was singing "kill it" over and over to the tune of the song. That scared me a little. Just a little. We get off the ride on the other end and see Nick and Hallie back in line. So we joined them and decided to ride it back. I really didnt feel like walking anymore at this point. When we arrived back that lady was singing a different tune and dancing this time. Im so glad that I wont ever see her again.

One final stop to look for something for my brat waiting for me at home and then off to find the tram. Up the stairs we go. Lance, tie your shoes. Then across the walk bridge and back down the stairs we go. Somehow the others went down the ramp instead and then at the bottom of the stairs we see John going up the ramp. Interesting. Im not asking any questions.

On the tram some kids in front of us were acting like total morons and Nick was making comments. Finally their father must have heard him and told them to cut it out. I liked Nicks comments better.

Once back at the cars we all said our goodbyes and a few rounds of hugs passed. I will miss them. I really will. I had a great time with everyone. Christy rode with Lance and I back and Hallie was in her car on her own. Nick, Jose, Michele and John were in the toaster.
Somehow we headed in the wrong direction and followed them to 90 on the wrong road. Ok so we extended our trip a couple of extra exits but soon we were on the right path home. Hallie blew past us like a bat out of hell. We knew the way home though.

On the way home we all chatted about the trip and I took a few notes. Some of the stuff I have no clue why I wrote them down.

"Shrosty said Maz was coming to get off" Please dont ask me why this one came to be because I really ave no clue. But it was said at some point.

Then I told Lance that I wanted to get gas in the car and he went past two "plazas". He was aggitated that the call them plazas and that they also call the toll booths plazas as well. Very confusing. Needless to say, we didnt stop to get gas till we hit Schenectady.

Another thing that was said on the ride back was "Bring magic lasso. Lance's secret journey - must remember not to speak out loud." I know what this was about but Im keeping that journey a secret.

The other one that was pretty darn funny was that there was some kids in a huge old caddy that leaked gas and sputted every time they tried to smoke the tires. Lance refered to this as the Key Lime Pie car. Im sure that the really cool yellow 'stang in front of us could have taken them easily but they chickened out and turned off the road. Good thing too. I didnt dare light up with that much gas fumes in the air. I really dont like the smell of burnt hair.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Part 4

Monday, June 26, 2006

Part 4

Current mood: amused

Lets see how many times this one shows up when I try to post it. So far Part 2 showed up 6 times and Part 3 showed up twice. Can we go for a record with Part 4?

I was going to title this as heading out to the highway but decided that I should keep with the simpler parts theme. I have a nasty headache but Im in the mood to write and I have all this information stuck up in my noggin and it needs to escape.

So here we are all gathering in the cars and off we head to the highway. Im in the lead with the toaster close behind. Then behind them is Hallie with John and Michele. If any of us slack and get lost, we all have cell phones to find the others. Easy enough. Or so you think. Or so I think for that matter.

We head out in the right direction and along the way I am pointing out to Lance the various highlights or the local sights. Im driving at this point so I have the general idea of the right direction. See? Im not being an idiot this time.

We start to head to the Taconic Parkway and thats when I have Lance call back to Jose and tell him to take the lead. He then cruises up ahead and Hallie comes up behind me. Im trying to keep her in my mirror while keeping up behind Jose. Not an easy task.

Its misty raining the whole way and I really hate driving in the rain. I keep watch on Joses car and all I can see is Nick moving back and forth in the back seat. I guess there are some things that I really dont want to know but that was pretty interesting.

Jose is doing about 70 and I see Hallie drifting back now and then so I slow up a little for her to stay in view. We hit a few toll booths and somehow I lose Jose. Well damnit... He goes through a Fast Lane that I didnt know was handing out the toll tickets as well. See here in NY we dont have such a thing. You go where they want you to go. There is no cheating.

Now they are long gone. Not to worry. We have cell phones. Lance and I are making jokes about the scenery and stuff and of course I have to pee yet again. Im doing about 90 to catch up to Jose and I can still sort of see Hallie behind. Shes keeping the pace as well.

Im watching the horizon for any signs of a toaster. I saw one go by on the opposite side going in the other direction. What a cruel joke for Jose but I know he isnt that crazy. So onward we cruise. I think I see them up ahead but whoops, its only a small SUV. I really need to pee so I tell Lance to call them and see where the hell they are. Wouldnt you know it, by the time Jose answers the phone, they come into view and I catch up to them.

Now Im looking for a rest area. In NY they have signs up miles and miles in advance to let you know where they are. You would think that on this road they could have the decency to do that as well. Nope. They let you know a half mile in advance. We call ahead to Jose to let him know to pull over. He answers just in time to past by the entrance. Well tough tooties. Im not waiting. We let him know the plan and tell him to go on and that we would catch up. Im getting good at that by now. He tells us what exit to get off of and we will meet him there.

We pull into the rest area and off I run like hell to the bathroom. Massachusetts somehow makes me want to have to urinate. Beats me. Move along. So now that my bladder is empty and things are taken care of. Its time to go catch Jose.

Both the cars leave and Lance is now driving. We are not bothering to go like a bat out of hell to catch up to Jose because at this point it would be impossible. That little toaster sure knows how to fly. Im sure Christy is having fun with them though.

We hit yet another toll booth and somehow lose Hallie. She went to a different ticket window than we did. We had a call from Jose a few minutes before telling us which exits to get off at and which highways to go on. We almost made a mistake coming off the toll booth. We swing in to the right one and almost nail another car. No biggie. The guy used his horn though.

Hallie is still nowhere to be seen. We come through Springfield and hit a rotary. I really hate rotarys. They are a pain in the ass if you ask me. But now everything is looking familure and I know where to go from here. I have been to this park a gazillion times.

We pull in to the entrance and still no sign of Hallie. We pull up along side of Joses car and get out to wait. Jose calls John and he gets the response that they passed an insurance company and asked if that helped. Helped? Helped what? Beats me. I just kept making jokes about asking if it was them every time a white car pulled into the parking lot. It was amusing me.

Finally they pull in and we gather around the ambition circle once more to decide what to do next. I guess its off to catch the tram to take us to the main gates.

Fun times ahead.

Part 3

Monday, June 26, 2006

Part 3

Current mood: amused

The alarm goes off and I try to turn it off. It wasnt happening so I tossed it at Lance. I have no clue how he did it because when I did open one eye it was still in one piece. I wasnt about to move and I was soon back in dreamland. The rest of that morning was pretty much a blur and how I woke up was pretty cool but we wont go into that.

I do, however, remember going outside with Lance and he was showing me how the hair on his big toe looked like a spider if you pressed your thumb on it. Ok so I was entertained by that. It was hysterical.

I jumped in the shower and Lance went across the street to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Now I know his secret. I was out of the shower and finishing up when he arrived. What the hell took so long? I bet he was scarfing down some sugary delights without sharing. Shame on him.

The phone calls were made and we agreed to all meet back up at the hotel with the others. So off we go and we run into them in the parking lot. The one thing that truely amazed me was that John had a couple of bottles that he wanted to dispose of. He could have simply left them in the beach house but he was being nice and wanted to recycle. Im confused but onward we move. He finds a dumpster and refused to place them in it because it said cardboard on it. So what, the recycles all go to the same place and Im sure that there was more than cardboard in there anyways. Nope, he finds a nice lush bush to hide them behind instead. This cracked me up.

We all decide to go to IHOP for breakfast. Now mind you that this is a few doors down from where I started out in the morning. This may have given me an extra 5 minutes of sleep but I wont complain too much. LOL

We get in for breakfast and of course I have to go to the bathroom again. I can wait though. In secret, I didnt want to look like an ass wandering around looking for it. I would rather someone else do that and then tell me where it is.

Nick was being a bad boy as usual and had to sit by himself. I dont think he was complaining too much though. We learned that Michele was named after a tire and Lance was named after a couple of football players. Too bad they are from the Cowboys though. LOL We were all chatting about one thing or another and somehow Johns syrup decided it wanted to escape his plate. I ended up laughing and got hashbrown in my nose. If that wasnt bad enough, Jose's syrup did the same thing. I think it was a conspiracy. That caused orange juice to follow the path of the hashbrown. We finished breakfast and Lance made sure to point out the location of the bathroom for me. Hes so nice.

We head out to the original meeting spot. Sears. We must have stopped or at least passed this place about 15 times yesterday. We meet up with Hallie and we head out. Three cars. This should be interesting to try to stay together. But at least Jose drives something that no one else does around here. He should be easy to spot.

Go, brave little toaster. Go, and we shall follow.

Oh wait, I was in the lead for the first stretch.

Go, brave little car. Go, and hope the hell they follow.

*yeah yeah yeah, I dont have a name for my car yet*

Part 2

Part 2

Current mood: amused

Now that we have the plane ride from hell behind us all, we head out to the parking lot. On the way out, I handed Whosie a bolt and said that I found it on the ground when her plane landed. Im sure that gave her alot of confidence. He he he...

We hang out by the cars and try, note that I said try, to decide what to do next. I guess its off to the hotel. I asked Nick to let me know which direction their hotel is in because Im such an idiot with directions. We agree on left. So we all load up and head out. We hit Route 7 and go left. Well whaddya know, Im a complete idiot now because we should have gone right. Yeah yeah yeah, I know.

We get to the hotel and they go in to register for their rooms. We try and they are booked solid because there is some kind of kiddie sports thing in town. So Whosie, Lance and I set out on a small journey up the road for another hotel. Sure enough both are booked except for having single bed rooms. Could be fun but we end up headed back to the original spot.

We park out front and see John walking across the parking lot and he tells us that his room sucks. So hes headed inside to check out the room that Jose and Nick have. Seems John and Micheles room is the Kato Kaelin special. Jose and Nicks room is a suite. At least we know where the pool house is now.

As John entered the hotel through an access door he trips on the step and stumbled into the doorway. I in turn laughed and stumbled back into a spotlight that shouldnt have been where it was placed. How the hell I ended up on the grass in the first place I will never know.

So we sat outside waiting for the others to come out. Time goes by and we are collecting cobwebs and still no one shows up. We call up there and John says he didnt know that he was supposed to tell them that we were waiting outside. Oh well. We had a nice chit chat anyways. So we find their room and hang out for a little while.

We parted into two groups. One going to the movie and the other four of us are off to find a hotel room and foodage. We headed into Colonie and went to hotel after hotel. Nothing but single rooms. One had a hot tub though but we didnt want Lance to look like a raisen by morning. I ran into a hotel clerk that I knew and she gave me the lowdown on what was available in the area. Turned out that they were single rooms as well. Thanks Barb. But I will mention that I was highly amused at passing the Firkin Fox a few times. And we did take a picture of yet another vehicle that we wanted to hide in our chop shop. This time it was a black Beamer. No need for paint on this baby.

Lance has this inner psychic aura about having a room near a Dunkin Donuts and sure enough we have a winner. How the hell does he do that? We enter at the door the lady tells us to go in and we cant find any stairs. How do you get to the second floor? We finally find them near the lobby. Oh how convienent is that? We enter the room and start to melt. I attempt to figure out the cooling system and set the temp to 69. Hey, it was a good number.

We leave there and all head to Rodrigios. Yeah I know its Garcias but it was funny to listen to Lance try to guess the name. Outside there we call Girlie and let her know that on Tuesdays they have $2 margaritas. Too bad that today is Friday though. Everyone chats with her and we finally enter the joint to get some food. Im starving.

Of course by now I have to use the bathroom again. Whosie orders the biggest margarita I have ever seen. I have a picture to prove it. Ok, so it wasnt that big but in the picture it sure as hell looks like it. We had a great dinner and a few laughs. Then came dessert.
Holycowwithasugarhigh!!! The Big Fat Chocolate Cake was just as it said it would be. The waitress brings four plates. They were soon forgotten because we just used our forks and attempted to eat it on our own. I had to make a whipped cream joke because earlier in the day I was playing in shaving cream and realized my mistake. Dont ask because it will just confuse me more.

Once we scraped ourselves off the ceiling we head outside. Jose gets in contact with Nick and we are off to their hotel. We hang out there until Nick comes in to let us know that they are getting foodage at Bennigans. So what was four turned out to be more. We sat around chatting about the turtle chick again and Jose ordered this huge icecream thing that came in a giant margarita glass. I was getting sick just looking at it. There was no way I was going to attempt to help him with that thing. He was on his own this time. Nick was enjoying some Captains and Coke and they looked really good but I knew that if I started on them, I would get in trouble. Jose suggested some shots but he never did order them. Damn. I wanted those.

We gathered outside and set the time frame of the morning gathering for breakfast. Once that was arranged we parted ways and headed out to our hotel. Now the amusing part of this is that when we exited the room before, we noticed that there really was a stairwell right next to our room that went out to the parking lot where the lady told us to go in the first place. You would think that a label on the door would have been nice.

We get ourselves set up for bed and Lance had brought some of his dinner back with him. I can smell that in the room. At least it made the room smell better. It was a friggin ice box in there too. But it was comfortable enough for sleeping. Lance passed out in midsentence and I still have no clue what we were all talking about at that moment. Whosie was next on the Sandmans list and I fell asleep listening to the snores.

A trip to remember.....literally

Sunday, June 25, 2006

A trip to remember.....literally

Current mood: amused

Day started out as any other. But this time I was really getting excited about the up coming evening with some very close friends. Ive known them for a few years but I have never met them face to face and in a few hours, that was all about to happen.

My last 15 minutes at work was in restraints with a kid in the office. His mom picked him up and I flew out of there like a bat out of hell. I was pulling out of the parkinglot and flipped on my phone. Two calls immediately came through and Lance was the first one in. He was waiting for me at the meeting point and we arranged for a closer spot.

I pulled in and he was not there yet. Or so I assumed because I waited about 10 minutes and decided to call him. Sure enough, he was there. At the other side of the parking lot waiting for me. Figures it would happen that way. The other call was from Whosie telling me that her flight was delayed an hour. That gave me a little more time for some last minute details. I was in a rush to get everything done on time. Im great for doing that. Also didnt help that I was at the store last before I get the message that I had to pick up the goodies.

From there we came back to my house and dropped off his car. We then went to do a little shopping for Jose. He wanted to get Whosie something special so I bought a nice rose and a really cute little charm bracelet. Now off to meet the gang.

We got the call from Jose when we were about to pull into the lot at Sears. They were there waiting for us. Michele went inside to find a bathroom and we all went in to look for her. Nick and John went into FYE while LB, Jose and I waited out in the mall to look for her. LB asked Jose if it was her that was walking by and he said no. Suddenly from out of the sky above me flew John to catch her. Yeah it was her. Jose swears he didnt recognize her.

We then get a call from Whosie telling us that she is delayed yet again and would call again when she was boarding the plane. So we went to find foodage while we waited. She called back and said that she would be leaving NYC at about 3pm.

On the way out of the mall we stopped and got a charm for her bracelet and then went to the As Seen On TV store. Jose went out to one of the benches to sit. The rest of us came out and right in front of us, this chick throws her drink on the floor and then falls down. She rolled around like a turtle for a little while. Jose was sitting on the bench with his face covered. Not sure what he was thinking but Im sure he was taking notes on this. Nick was just beside himself waiting to see what happens next. Michele didnt know whether or not we should help her and then John decided to run back into the store because he thought it was scary enough just watching. While leaving I made sure to go to the bathroom so that I didnt wet my pants trying to chase Jose through the terminal.

After the sideshow we thought it was time to head to the airport. On the way there we got behind an Escalade that was white and Lance said we should steal it and take it to the chop shop to paint it black and add bicycle tires to it. It was a great idea at the time. Lance took pictures of an airplane landing thinking it was hers but it wasnt. Oh well. We could have pretended though.

We get to the airport and head to the gate area. Wouldnt you know it, I had to pee again. Damnit, now I have to find a bathroom. Well I didnt really have to find one. Its like a radar to chicks with small bladders and I just so happened to see one when we first got inside the building. Lance checked the screens and it said that the flight was due in at 4:50pm so we still had a little bit of a wait.

In the mean time we stood around and talked about the turtle chick at the mall and took a few pictures of each other taking pictures. Jose sat patiently on the floor clutching that poor rose. John in turn came over to me and told me how nervous he was. Strange enough. I was nervous as well. But Jose remained cool and calm. On the outside anyway. Once they annouced the arrival of her flight he walked toward the gate to wait for her. It was perfect. Nope, he wasnt sweating a bit. Thats because there was airconditioning on. Im sure of it. Im sure the thought of running was there too so the rest of us remained on the watch of the nearest exits just in case.

The anticipation was getting to us. People were coming off the gate and we had the cameras ready. She arrived and the hugs happened. The rest of us were still leaning against the wall and wondering if Jose remembered if we were still there or not.

Where The Wild Things Are....

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Where The Wild Things Are...

Current mood: amused

The night Maz wore his wolf suit, (quoted from Whoise.... Maz is wearing a wolf suit *lech*) and made mischief of one kind and another, Whoise called him "WILD THING!" and Maz said "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to Albany.

So Maz hopped in his car and drove off through the night and day and in and out of toll booths for over miles and miles to where the wild things are.

And when he came to the place where the wild things are he heard the roars of the airport. He tried to run but they rolled their eyes. And BC yelled "BE STILL!" and tamed him with a magic trick of staring into his eyes without blinking once and he was frightened and called her the most wild thing of all.

"And now," yelled LB, "let the wild rumpus start!"

To be continued on Sunday when I will be able to get access to my computer again.......


Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Current mood: crappy

I would like to thank Travis for that line. Its the only thing said to me today that put me in a fit of giggles.

Today started out like any other til about 930 when the announcement came over the speaker that we all need to check our mail boxes for our job status for September.

Mine said that I have a job but they dont know where. I have a high percentage of getting a transfer to another school. Im flattered that Im wanted that much elsewhere. Bah!!! My position for that school has been eliminated because the one that I was hired for will be leaving.
Kind of sucks really. But we shall see. And you know I will be pestering the hell out of HR til I find out whats up.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Some Guys Have All The Luck

Monday, June 19, 2006

Some Guys Have All The Luck...

Current mood: amused

This has got to be the funniest thing tonight. I laughed so hard I went into a coughing fit and nearly choked.



(female voice) Is Tim up there?

Im sorry but you have the wrong number.

I guess I will shit my pants anyway.


A couple of minutes pass.......



(different female voice) Gregg? have the wrong number.

You sound cute. Would you like to talk?


She hung up on me!! So now I have the caller ID on to see if she calls back and so far nothing.
I feel so left out that she doesnt want to talk to me again. *sniff* I thought we could be friends.

Where is my Weirdo Magnet shirt?

And so it ends....

And so it ends....

Current mood: blah

The school year is about to come to a close. Damn,... It's about time huh? Well for some people that means that the kiddiegaters are home and constantly under foot. For me that means that I can relax without the daily trials of them. Yeah being a teacher has its rewards.

But we all know that I will be sitting in my lounge chair at the camp and relaxing and having nothing better to do than to watch the world go by. Oh so not true. I honestly will miss each and every one of them. Well not every one of them. One of them is my own. Im stuck with her. :D

Yeah we have fun all summer. Swimming and playing without a care in the world. The other thing I will miss is a paycheck. I dont get paid during the summer. Which means I need to get me a job for a couple of months to make up for it. Nope.... Walmart will not be seeing me wearing their smock. Im thinking more like dog grooming again.

One thing does have me concerned. There is a new change going on in the school district and most of us have no idea where we are going or if we even have a job come September. I was informed today that we all have jobs but we arent sure at what school.

I came from another school within the district and received a better higher paying job at the school Im currently at. I was told that the special ed program will now be moved to another school and the teachers and paras have to go there in September. That means that I would be taking a transfer back to where I came from. Ummmm... NOT.

So here I stand waiting for Monday's meeting to let me know whats going to happen. Where am I? What position do I have? What school do I work at? If I do take a transfer then that means my child does too. Thats such a royal pain in the ass. I just got her into an awesome school that challenges her mind like it should. I dont want to do this to her again.

Im hoping to remain in the school Im in. I received my review and I scored perfect in all catagories and I am also highly recommended by my boss to work there. Keeping my fingers crossed that it is where I will stay.

Lung Slugs Revisited

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Lung Slugs Revisited

Nope, this one isnt a continuation of an award winning thread. This is about my lungs. Yeah, the upper part of my anatomy. About 2 months ago, I got sick with what I thought was a cold. My throat was like I swallowed sandpaper. Interesting thought huh?

I started taking Alavert and it helped alot. I got my voice back. Shut up you guys. LOLOL. But then this past Thurday night, the Sandpaper Man came back for a visit. Only this time he decided that I should have something else to go along with it. No no no... Not that.

Friday was rough and I didnt sleep much. Saturday was insane on my throat but I had a good time. I will blog about that day as soon as *ahem* someone else does it so I can see his first. :o) Even though he wrote stuff down, I remember pretty much everything. ;o)

So yesterday, I wake up to the phone ringing and it was my downstairs neighbor asking me if I had power. Well considering that it was 7:20 and my alarm was supposed to have gone off at 7:00, I would say that I didnt have power. Everything was dark and I couldnt run the shower. I called in and went back to bed. The power came back on somewhere around 10:30. Oh well. At least I got to sleep in on a Monday.

I felt like hell froze over so I called the doc and made an appointment for 3:30 today. Last night was pure hell on me. I ended up sleeping upright. If I laid back, I could feel my lungs collapsing. I mean, wtf? Dont the lung slugs have a better place they can call home? Why do they need to reside in my chest? Yeah I know there is alot of room and Im sure its very comfortable there but hey, I dont take in tenants on the inside of them.

But at least Im not coughing and sending them on a projectile ride. That would be just plain rude.

So I went to the docs today and got an inhaler and some good party favors. Should be out of my system in a few days. I can send those nasty tenants packing.

And the sad part is, there was no special sauce. LOLOLOL

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hair Today....Gone Tomorrow....

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hair Today....Gone Tomorrow

Current mood: accomplished

Body hair. I know there is a purpose for it to be there. Its to protect our skin from harmful elements. I see the point. But I dont want to see the hair. Im female and I like it that way.
Im very fair skinned. The hair on my arms and legs is very pale and fine. So much so that you dont even notice that I have hair there. I have no desire to wax my arms. I have no need to. But there are some chicks out there that do and I feel sorry for them. Trust me guys, its a painful process that we women go through to look good for you.

Secretly behind our bathroom doors, we pluck, wax, shave, add creams and scream til our eyeballs fall out. But when we emerge from that torture chamber, we are looking fairly well enough for you to look at. And we even let you touch. Think of the benefits there, eh boyz?

Im going to take a small trip down memory lane. My sister used to pluck her eyebrows. Actually I think she still does. I used to sit and watch her do this. Who in their right mind would sit there for hours on end and willingly pluck each hair one by one to make it look perfect? Are you nuts? My thought was always to yell boo and see if she makes a mistake.

Then I would watch her use Nair on her legs. I asked her why she used that when I know every other female in my family shaved their legs. She said that it was much easier that way. So later when she wasnt around I tried it on my legs. HOLY COW!!! It burned. WTF?? Ok I will never do that again.

So now we come to the future. You would think that they would come up with something that is alot better to use. I guess Im not into plucking so I get my eyebrows waxed. Yeah its about $10 every time I do this but its worth the effort. No effort on my part. And nearly painless. Yeah it smarts for a few seconds. Not like Im going to sit there for a couple of hours with a mirror and some tweezers and cause myself unwanted pain. Thats just self mutilation if ya ask me.

Now for the legs. I prefer to use a shower gel. For some unknown reason that I am yet to come up with, shaving creams and shaving gels cause me to cut myself. Not like I try to do this on purpose. Do you honestly think I want to walk around with a dozen bandaids on my knees and ankles? I would think not. I dont care how small the bandaids are either. Just isnt happening. So shower gels work great on my skin. Doesnt dry it out either and smells better.

Now for the all mighty armpits. Such a delicate topic huh? Its not like I want to just let it grow and braid it all up nice and pretty. Get a life. Not my style. So now I think back to my sister. I honestly do not know if she used Nair there or not. I sure as hell hope not and Im not about to try it either. Thats all I need is for my pits to burn like fire. Nope. Not a chance. Ive thought about waxing. I just havent found the courage to attempt that yet. Im brave but not crazy. Or is that Im crazy but not stupid... Hmmm... Either way works for me.

Now somewhere along the ages they created a tool called the EpiLady. I was dumb enough to actually get one of these nifty little time savers. It was electric and it had the coil that looped up and around the top a couple of times. Id post a picture but Im sure you boyz out there would faint at the sight of it. I dont want to clean up any messes in here so I wont take the effort of showing you what one looks like. If you want to know then head on over to google. Im sure they are easy to find. I will warn you that its scary shit to look at.

So dummy me tries it to see what it does. I'll tell you what it does... It literally rips the hair out. Those coils vibrate when turned on and its not the good kind of vibrate either. You run it slowly up and down your skin like any other electric shaver. But as you do this, it snags the tiny hairs in its coiled blades and yanks it from your body. Can you imagine that on your armpits? Son of a B**** does this hurt. Why would they market this? Im sure that who ever created this idea was an S&M Master. That went right into the trash. Im sure the trashman got his jollies later.

Now they have something called EpilStop. Its a roll on cream that smells like cucumber melon and its supposed to be gental on your skin. So gental that you can even use it on your lip and chin. Yes boyz, there are some chicks out there that have very fine hairs there too. Its natural. Well let me tell you that this crap is just as useless as Nair. Except that when you wash it off, your skin swells up and turns red. Yep, thats how I want to spend my Saturday night. Sitting on my bed with an ice pack on my face. Scratch this idea too. Not going to work for me.

Waxing legs is one thing but have you ever tried to wax your face? What a shot through hell that is. And to think that they make bleaching creams for this area. Sorry but its bad enough to have something there that I dont want to have dye it white for it to show more. Stupid idea. So they make this stuff called VEET. I recommend this product. You can get it for body hair too. For legs and pits, you apply the cream, let it set and then use a fake razor to take the cream off. Easy, painless and lasts a long time. Smells good too. But you cant use it on your face.

So VEET makes a product called waxing strips. They are little prepasted waxed paper strips that you dont have to heat or do anything to them before hand. You just peel them apart and apply the strip to where you want it and then rip it off like a bandaid. Hurts like ripping off a bandaid too. But once again, it only smarts for a few seconds. Hair is gone and no mess.

Now Im wondering how this works for bikini waxing. OMG can you imagine those that have tried to use Nair there? *faint*

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Life is like a bowl of cereal....

Sunday, June 04, 2006

My ass has nothing to do with it.

Current mood: amused

This was just sent to me by my friend K.

This is awesome.

Life is like a bowl of cereal.....

Ive come to like the new stuff they offer kids these days like the new Disney Princess pink stuff with marshmallows. Its like a cross between the red Crunch Berries and the only good part of Lucky Charms. But thats not what this is about. Its about life in general. Not the cereal called Life, although its quite good, but just plain old life.

You start out with some mushy crap because you dont have any teeth to chew it with and somehow the years pass by and you eat stuff like Trix. But then, Mikey will eat anything. Then even more years pass and you then come across Snap, Crackle and Pop. Well at least thats the sound you hear when you wake up in the morning. You have all you can do to make it to the bathroom while every joint in your body rebels at you and calls you names.

I know along my life's paths, I have encountered a few Frosted Flakes and some real doozies of Fruit Loops. Maybe a Special K now and then. But looking back at my childhood and then compairing things to today, the prize at the bottom just isnt the same.

When I was a kid the prizes were really cool stuff. Some of it was so cool that you had to save UPC codes or send a few bucks to the company and they sent you something that you could actually play with. Now the prizes are something that isnt even worth buying at the dollar store.

But this really isnt about cereal.

Many years ago, a lady was on her way to a hospital with this nagging pain in her belly. Ya know, she did this a couple of times and that nagging pain was sent back home. No, Im not calling her a nagging pain. But Im sure thats what she was thinking each time she had to go back home. She lived in a small town south of the main city and its not a quick drive to the hospital. So one night on June 4th, that nagging pain happened again. And once again, she was off to the hospital.

This time however, she was almost there when that nagging pain decided to move to a different spot. And sure enough as soon as she was inside the walls, out popped a noggin. At 1:42am on June 5th, a child was born. A small child of 6lbs and 13 ounces. A baby girl for the world to see. Then all hell broke loose. Whaddya know, thats the same date and time I was born. What a cowinky dink, huh?

Life in a small town was pretty cool. You knew everyone and everyone knew you. I grew up on a farm with alot of animals. I had alot of friends and the neighbors were like my extended family. I still see them and hang out with them to this day.

When I was ten, we moved to the suburbs. It was a great opportunity for me to get a great edumakayshun in a great school. Which of course, I got all that. Living in the burbs was pretty cool too. But soon after I graduated, I moved back to that small town that I loved so much.
I have since moved several times but I always stayed relatively close to where I came from. Once I did live clear across the state in yet another small town.

Ive had my share of bumps and bruises all my life. Broke a few bones and gained a few scars. Had a few car accidents but none were my fault. So that leaves me, in the here and now, with all the morning aches and pains that came from those early injuries.

But over all, life has had its ups and downs for me. I wont go into detail of them though. Those of you that know me well enough, know the hells I have been through.

Its tough getting older. But I can look back on everything that I have seen and done and call it all a great big learning experience. Its made me a better person. Im strong physically and mentally. Emotionally, however, I can be a bit lacking. But then again, who isnt?

Over the years I have gained and lost friends. Most of the ones lost are not really lost, but are just those that have seperated and moved on in their lives. But I can say that in the past few years, I have gained the best friends that anyone could ever have. They are my family. Yeah, you guys know who I am talking about. You are the ones that are reading this now. And there are a few that arent reading this here. But they will hear all about it. Of that I am sure.

You guys are my heros that have pulled my sorry ass out of a few rutts from time to time. You have dealt with all my trials and errors. During my happiest and my saddest moments, you stood by my side. Of that I am eternally grateful for.

So even though there have been times in my life that truely sucked, I have come through with a smile on my face even as I wiped the tears away. Life has been pretty good for me on that surface. There are some things that I wish were different. Some things I am yet to change. But I have grown into a pretty decent person.

I can look in the mirror tomorrow and see myself one year older and one year wiser. I still dont count those years in numbers. I can say that I have 9 years of experience at being 28. All I have to show for that is a few grey hairs that a box of coloring hides pretty darn well.

But damn those snap, crackle, and pops get worse and worse. I think I need to add some surgary marshmallows to them and Im sure they will taste a hell of alot better.

Its a jungle out there....

Thursday, June 01, 2006

It's a jungle out there....

Current mood: amused

Today was the kindergarten field trip to Adirondack Animal Land. Its a really cool place and perfect for the little ones because its small and not so overwhelming for them.

First we start off in the morning rush trying to get everything packed in the coolers and establishing what kids go with what adults. Yes there were adults there. Surprising huh?

We have a few kids that required that their parents take part in this to allow everyone a good time. The one I worried about the most was my main ward. His mom was supposed to come on this trip but his cousin came instead. What a sour person. They came just as the bus was about to leave.

On the way there, the kids were getting really excited and I could hear the sounds of "Are we there yet?" and "I have to pee". Whoops, that was me. But anyways, the two little girls that sat across from me were putting up each others hair and it was so funny because the one was talking a mile a minute and she suddenly went quiet. I look over and wouldnt ya know it, shes sound asleep. She still had the other girls hair in her hands.

We pull into the parking lot about 45 minutes later and all the kids are now going crazy. Oh wait, that was just my class. Go figure.

We wait for the instructions on what time to meet where. Then off we go in our groups to check out the animals. The batteries on my camera went dead about half way through but the other adults had theirs so at least everything got covered.

I spent the day chasing after the ones that kept running ahead and also trying to explain what each animal was and all the details of them. We saw some pretty cool stuff.

That part that pissed me off the most was that my ward and his cousin went on ahead of everyone else and finished the park in about a half hour. Then he wouldnt let him come with us to learn some fun stuff. That aggrivated me.

The kids thought the animals were great. Being inner-city kids, they dont get to see these animals close up. Or for the most part, get to touch them and pet them. It was really exciting for them. And the adults as well. I had a blast watching their faces light up when they saw the baby kangaroo come out of its moms pouch. Or when the tiger came up to the front of his cage and growl. The kids went into shock at that one.

They saw a real live giaffe and had no idea just how tall they really are. They were amazed. But the best was saved for last.

The Safari Ride. Ive been here before and Ive been on this ride. I knew what to expect. These kids and their parents didnt have a clue. You are riding along in a long cart that is being pulled by a tractor. There is an announcer at the back of the cart pointing out the various animals. While this happens, a herd of camels approach the cart on all sides and the kids go nuts. The camels stick their heads in and check everyone out.

I enjoyed seeing that part. Now its time to get ready to come home. We did a few group shots of all the kids and off to the buses we go. Whew, what a day. Im exhausted and so are my feet, back, arms, legs, the list goes on and on.

Once on the bus, my ward starts to get upset because he wants his snack and his cousin is refusing to give it to him. I was getting a bit on the pissed off side and told him flat out that my little guy needs to sit with me. So of course, once he is seated and buckled in, I give him a snack. I dont care if his cousin is pissed off. Tough tooties. Hes a little boy of five years old. What do you expect?

So after he nibbles and Im chatting with the other teachers, I feel a slump on my lap and hes out like a light. The girls across from me went kabonk as well. The funny part is that not only were the kiddies nodding off but one of the parents did too. There are pictures to prove it.

I had a hell of a time waking some of them up. But they all had a great time. I did too.

I know I will sleep good tonight.

Oh Snap !!!!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Oh Snap !!!

What a wonderful day I had today. Full of mixed emotions and a large quanity of hugs and the F-word. The hugs were of high quality though because they came from my little darling.

We started out the day perfect. It was a beautiful morning in the hood. We get to school and its still a little early. My daughter wanted breakfast with her friends so we went inside and met up with my ward. The two were friends before she was transfered there and it was nice that they finally were able to meet. They have become close friends and it helps my ward out alot.

Well they finish and out the door they go to the playground. She wore a skort today and wouldnt ya know it, she takes a trip to the pavement on her knee. So her little friend, being such a gentleman, takes her by the hand and helps her to the nurse. She ends up with two very large bandages on her knee and it does look a mess.

OMG !!! I completely forgot that today was the first grade assembly presentation. And wouldnt ya know it, its the only time that I dont have my camera on me. Damnit!!!

The assembly was awesome. What a show these kids put on. It took almost 1000 pictures to create a paper animation show of how seeds grow. And my daughter was a big part of it. Im so proud. I was practically in tears watching their hard work.

The show is over and I turn to the guy that runs our science lab, whome is also the one that puts all the visual and audio stuff together for these shows, and I asked for a copy of the disk. He looks at me like I have 4 heads and flat out tells me no. What? It takes 10 minutes to do this and he refuses because "if he has to do it for me then he has to do it for everyone". F***nut... Sorry but that pissed me off. What pissed me off even more was that another teacher approached him and asked and he said he would have it for her on Tuesday. WTF??

I caught him in the hall later and asked about that and he said that shes a teacher and can have one.. Well whaddya know, I guess Im not? Asshole.

So later in the afternoon he comes into my classroom to talk about the kindergarten presentation next month. Well wouldnt you know it, he has to talk to ME... Dumbass that he is must have forgotten who he was talking to. So I asked him again and he still told me no. Im so fired up but I have to remain cool in front of the kids.

During lunch I bitched about it in the break room and every other teacher, para and staff agreed that hes a dickhead. But it is in the works for a copy to be made for me. One of them will steal it for me and do it.

Anyways, Im still fuming about what he did. I think its not so much what he did, but how he did it. He didnt have to be so damn rude. But Im literally steaming about it all day.

Well me and the teacher that I work with were talking about it during snack time and she told me that he pulled the same crap on her and made her cry. This got me even more pissed. About ten minutes later I felt something stab me in my side. Right below my right armpit along my boob.

Well holyboobpopper, I somehow snapped the underwire on my bra. Now how the hell do you do that? I mean, its an underwire. Its made of metal. Im not kidding. Its snapped about two inches below my armpit. Its in two pieces.

And wouldnt you know my luck. It cant just snap, it has to tear through and puncture flesh. And thats very tender flesh to be puncturing there, bub.

So yeah I had to go through the rest of my day with the F-word dangling on my tounge and a piece of metal stuck in my boob. So what do I do, I went to the ladies room and stuffed my bra. HA!!! I know what you boyz are thinking. No no no.. I didnt stuff my bra THAT way. I dont have to. But I had to stuff it on the side so I dont get pricked in the tit all day. Its not like I can take it off and go bouncing free. Oh no, sorry but I cant have that happening.

So all in all, what does an dickhead and an underwire have in common? They both can be major pricks.

Off to the lingerie store for me tomorrow.