Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Movin On.... Part 4

Movin On... Part 4

I have been going absolutely nuts the past few days with getting everything cleaned out and packed. I have thrown away a ton of stuff. I went through Cami's clothes today and threw out about two bags and there are three bags sitting in the corner waiting to be taken to her school for the nurse to have. She likes it when I do this. She uses the clothes for kids that have accidents or spill something on their clothes. This way they can have something dry to wear home. So I do this every year before school starts. This year, there is more than usual.

I cleaned out my linen cabinet. This one will be taken to the new place for the kitchen. Although I do have a lot of cabinet space now, this one will be for things I need locked up. I wont be able to lock the other cabinets. I have 4 cabinets here that will be given to anyone that could use them. I no longer need them or have the space for them at the new place.

I will be working on my front foyer tomorrow to organize coats and shoes and what not. Some will be put in storage and some will be put in the closet at the new place. There will be some that will go to Cami's school if anyone needs them there. Although we do have closets in the new place, they arent very big. So cutting back on all this stuff is a good thing. Also we got a garage to use as a storage room for things too. The pallets are there and ready.

Tomorrow morning, I have to be up at 6am to get ready to go to the new place to wait for the new furniture to be delivered. Im so excited. I havent had new furniture in 13 years. Im almost paranoid about it. I have hardwood floors over there and I dont want them scratched up so Im going to Walmart tomorrow for some brown felt to put under the legs of everything. My bed will also be going over there this week so I can get that set up. I emailed someone tonight for a new computer desk. Im praying I get this one because I really like it. Fingers crossed.

This has been really stressing on me. I have no idea where half this crap is coming from. We have lived here for ten years. Most of this stuff will go into the garage for storage. Its all the sorting of stuff I want in the place, in the garage or in the trash. There will be some stuff going to an auction. I do not have time for a yard sale. Maybe if my mom wants to have one, thats fine. I will bring it all to her. The painting is what has taken my time away from what needs to be done here.

Tomorrow after all is done with the furniture, I have a couple of errands to run and then Im coming home to pack my kitchen too. Whew.... Im exhausted just thinking about it.

This is for Fermi...


I hope this link works... Its called Spunky Monkey. Im not sure I would want to sit on something like this.

He he he....

Monday, August 30, 2010

Thats A Lot Of Bull...

Thats A Lot Of Bull....

Today we went to Utica to visit my aunt, uncle and cousin. We usually make this trek about once a month. You know, these people arent getting any younger. These are my fathers siblings and he likes to see them.

This day started out just like any other day. Trying to wake Cami up is becoming a chore in itself. School starts again next week and I dont know how shes going to make it. I cant get her up at 8am, how will she be up at 6am? Well she could just stay up all night like usual. * grumble *

I finally got her up and out of bed at about ten minutes to 9. She had her morning pill at 8 but went back to sleep. She still needs to shower before we leave. I called my father to see what the game plan was and he said that my sister was picking him up any minute. So I told Cami to take a quick shower. Thats when I heard the back door close. Too late. She took the dog out back.

I waited a few minutes and called them both inside. She didnt want to shower but I told her that if she didnt shower, she couldnt ride in my sisters car. So she stomped her feet a few times. I picked up the phone to call my sister and thats when she ran to the shower. Ok! Ok! I'll take a stupid shower. Smart or stupid, I dont care. Just take one.

The phone rang and it was my father telling me that he was on his way over to pick us up. Cami was almost ready. Out the door with a brush in her hand and carrying a bowl and a book to read. We get outside and she runs back up to get her MP3 player. Just then, my sister pulls up. Talk about cutting the times close.

I didnt get to have my coffee and that is a must on a trip like this. I cant function without it. So we zipped into a DD and pleasure was to be had. Now its time for the highway. My father isnt all that quick on directions. He is one that will let you know where to turn just as you are passing it. So my sister was zipping this way and that way. Im glad I was in the back seat. I think my father crapped in his drawers a few times.

So we made it to the main road that will take us to where we need to go. It was one of the back roads. The thruway is a pain in the ass so we stay to the back roads. Better scenery and less traffic. Along the way, Cami decided to point out the corn fields before I did. Ruined all my fun. But there was one interesting conversation that took place.

Me: Look Cam, cows!
Cami: Where?
Me: Over there.
Cami: Wow, there are a lot of them.
*grabs her head and turns it away*
Me: And a bull.
Cami: How do you know its a bull?
Me: It was doing bull things.
Cami: What are bull things?
Me: Things that bulls do.
Cami: How do you know?
Me: You will know when you are 40.
*looks back*
Me: Yep, it was definately a bull.

My sister was laughing because she saw it too. That cow must have been really sick because that bull was pushing it to town.

We arrived on time to the location where we all meet. Not to mention all the turns and highways and circles and lane changes that we endured to get there. That city is pretty much all highways. They all connect to each other and its very confusing. So once we arrived at the plaza, I think my father had to shake out his shorts again. I know I pick on my sister but its true, you have to be able to stop on a dime and turn at any given second because you dont know until he points to it. Im sure she pissed off a lot of people on the road. But hey, what can you do? I was just glad to touch solid ground.

While waiting for the others to come, we usually hit some of the local shops in the plaza. As we were walking to them, my aunt and cousin showed up. We hurried to shop and then we all went to the buffet to eat. During the meal and long after, we chatted and visited. Cami and I went shopping some more and came back. They were still chatting. We shopped a little more. They were still chatting. The conversation was still the same topic because neither my aunt nor my father could hear each other. So there was a lot of 'what did you say' and 'huh' and 'what'.

The topic turned to funerals and who was buried where and when so my aunt asked my father if his was all paid for and then asked me if I knew where the funeral home was. I said no. My father looked at my cousin and asked if she was coming. She said yes. He said something else and she said for him not too worry and she would come put flowers. She said, I know you will be up there watching me. He said, there are no eyeballs in ashes. So that will be my motto for now. I got a kick out of that one.

On that note, we all stood up and finally left the restaurant. My father needed to go to a store there to get cheese. The really stinky stuff. For some reason, they dont sell it in my area. So we have to go in search of it somewhere else. So we were back on the highways and the twists and turns to get to the store. Cami and grandpa went in and my sister and I waited in the car. They came out a few minutes later with that cheese and some cheese curd. Cami loves that stuff. Its now time to head home.

My sister hits the thruway. Shes tired and wants to just get home. We stopped at one of the rest areas on the way to get more coffee. Cami decides that shes hungry. She doesnt eat much at the buffet because there really isnt anything there that she likes. Its one of those chinese ones. So while at the rest stop, I got her some McDonalds. Back on the road again.

We made pretty good timing and we got home at about 4pm. Not too bad. Its now 7pm and she wants dinner.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Im Movin On... Part 3

Im Movin On... Part 3

This is where it gets good. What to take and what to leave behind. Im not going to have munch time to sort and divide. What we decided on was to take it all and store it in the garage and sort it there. We need to get out of here asap. Not that I have to but I need to. My car was broken into recently and just last week, my tires on the truck were slashed. Im sick of this neighborhood. It used to be so quiet here but now its turning into a party street with cars and gangs. Yeah, gangs way over here. Im far from downtown but seems that its moving out to the good places now.

We decided to get most of the stuff out of here first and just keep the main stuff to live on over the next few weeks. We are pretty much here til mid month and the final deal is about Oct. But we will be moved out by then. It also gives us a chance to get this place painted and ready for the old landlord to see and give us our deposit back. He will have to do that because this place is in 100% better condition than when we moved in. Trust me, I have pictures to prove it.

We also decided to leave behind some of the old furniture. Its old, and falling apart and we cant really take it with us. The couch is 13 years old and the cushions are held up with plywood. Thats staying. In fact, thats going to the curb. My daughters bed is staying because its broken. Its one of the cheap ones you get at Kmart and the side of it broke. A friend of mine is giving her a day bed to use. She has the matresses for it. We just need the bed. But my friend is also taking my kitchen island and a cabinet that we are also leaving behind. There are a few things in the attic that are not coming with us. They may end up at an auction. Im sure that when I go through the stuff after we move, there will be a lot more stuff for the auction.

But now we dont have anything for the living room. No couch or anything. We need a tv stand too. The one we have here, will stay behind unless someone else wants it. Its a tv armoire with no doors on the top part. But there are doors on the bottom. Its not in bad shape. Just too big for the new place. We want a simple stand that the tv sits on top of with a cabinet under.

So we set off in finding a living room couch. That was the game plan. A couch. We have a sort of sofa sleeper that is all foam that folds out on the floor that we are taking with us. But we want a new couch. I went on line searching the sales at the better known furniture places. I couldnt believe how much they wanted for a couch. The cheapest deal I found at one place was $700. Then I thought of the economy place where I bought my last set and they wanted about that same price. I thought this was going to be a mess. Boy, was I right. Then I thought of another place that I know they have a clearance section. I thought that would be the first place to look.

So last night, off we went in search of the perfect couch. With the perfect cost. We went in and I was actually floored with the prices. There were tons of couches with decent prices. Less than the economy place. I was sure to find something. So after about 2 hours, we had found about 4 couches that were within the price range. But then there was one set that kep me coming back to it. I would check out one couch and then another and back and forth and I elminated them down to one couch and then one set to choose from. Then I thought, the cost of the set is a lot more than just the couch of the other one. But the thing is, this set is a clearance and has to be purchased as the set. So I thought about the cost of the other couch and how much that would be as a set. They were the same. But which one do I like better? I couldnt decide at that moment but I thought that I better get a credit check first. I have the money to get the set but I would rather get the credit so that I have some extra money to get other things I need.

Well the credit was denied. I was shocked because I do have good credit. But they saw that I do have another loan out there and thats why I was denied. Are you kidding me? They figured that I needed to pay off my other loan first. Well that wasnt going to happen in the next week so I needed to go to plan B. I need to see about borrowing some cash from my father. It would be a loan so he wouldnt complain. But I didnt want to break myself by spending the little bit of cash that I had left. I made the choice of the clearance set because I really liked it better. So I decided to talk to my father in the morning and see what he says.

I pretty much sat up all night debating on this. Did I really want to do it this way or just get it and be done with it. This was hard to do. Im already stressed out. I didnt need even more stress. So today I went to him to ask him for help. He was cool with it and we went to the store and got it all taken care of. I paid him half of the money for the set I wanted. And we came home with all the pillows that came with the couch. We didnt want them lost in the delivery. So on Wednesday morning, my couch set will be delivered to my new apartment. The cable will be turned on too. Im getting more and more excited.

I went to the new place to see what I needed to have right away. The place needs to be cleaned and a quick coat of paint will do it well. Cami wants purple in her room so I said she could have a light lavendar color. Something I can easily paint over with white when I move out. Im not concerned about it. The rest of the place will get a nice coat of white paint. Im just picky about who lived there before me and I want the place cleaned from top to bottom. Whether or not the landlord had it cleaned or not, I want to know for sure by doing it myself. So that is the game plan for tomorrow and Saturday.

Oh and I need a new toilet seat because there is no way Im using one that has monkeys on it. Yeah, monkeys.

Im Movin On... Part 2

Im Movin On... Part 2

We were apartment hunting for a while now. Years even. Seriously. I just couldnt find anything that we could afford. Plus I have a dog and a cat. People dont want pets. But they need to realize that sometimes pets are better than people. I really think that landlords need to get to know the tenants and the potential pets before making a decision on letting them rent or not. They would do good with some families that have pets. But I understand their reasons. Their loss.

So a few weeks ago, we finally got up the cash to go looking again. I went bonkers looking in all the media outlets and finally found a few on craigslist. I know, I know, some people hate that website but I love it. I find a lot of goodies there. And I found a few places to check out. As I went down my list, it was getting pretty bad. The places that did allow pets were really expensive. And those that had the cheaper rents wanted huge deposits or extra rent each month. Or they were simply in neighborhoods that were less desirable. I was getting to my whits end.

Then I saw one that interested me. It stated that there would be a deposit for each pet and also stated that kids are more than welcome. Oh, did I mention that there were some places that didnt even want kids? Yeah, can you imagine? But this place looked promising so I gave them a call to go look at the place.

On the phone we talked about the kid, the cat and the dog. I was told that there would be a one time deposit for the pets but the kid comes free. Also there are two playgrounds on the property for kids. The statement that I was given was that the landlord wants a place for families. And pets are members of the family. I think Im going to like this.

So we went over on a Wednesday afternoon and checked the outside. The buildings were once an old military depot and these were the officers housing units. Apartments as some would say. The landlord was renovating some of the units and they had a two bedroom and a 4 bedroom available. I would have preferred the 4 bedroom but that was double the rent. I couldnt afford that one. So we looked at the two bedroom.

It was a little smaller than the one Im in but the room size was a lot bigger. Thats a plus. Im getting tired of being cramped in these tiny rooms. The bathroom was about the same size as the closet one I have now but the layout was much better. I can get my ass in there without having to climb over the sink to get to the toilet. Another plus if you ask me. There is also a linen closet just outside the bathroom door. Yet another plus. The bedrooms are about double the size and the living room is about the same size as my living room and dining room combined. Although the new place doesnt have a dining room. There is an eat in kitchen. The kitchen is decent size with a ton of cabinet space. The washer and dryer has a spot next to the fridge, which has an icemaker. There is also a dishwasher. I havent had one of those in 10 years. Oh, bless you.

The entire place just recieved all new hard wood floors. This could be a problem when having a dog though. So I will need some area rugs. Anyone want to donate to that fund? I also need some drapes because there are lot more windows. I need some donations for that too. But I really liked this place. And they told us that there are two playgrounds there that the kids can play on. While looking out the kitchen window, I noticed a couple of girls, about my daughters age, playing in the yard. Heck, there were kids everywhere. There were toys outside all over the place. This tells me that its also a bit safer. Where I am now, you dont dare let the kids out to play. There are some weirdos on this street and cars are broken into and my tires were slashed recently. Ok, so this was going to be a better deal. And my pets were welcome. But also, they restrict what pets are allowed. No big dogs or dogs that are on a danger list. So that tells me that this is pet friendly and also safe for kids. I can handle this.

Then Im told that there is a fee on top of the rent each month. This extra fee is seperate from the rent check and will cover all utility expenses. I was a little shocked at first but then realized that this total with the rent is still pretty cheap when you add up all the utilities for the month. I can deal with that. The man said that we can have the airconditioners, the washer and dryer, the dishwasher and what ever else going all the time and its only a one time fee each month. My heat is free here but my electric bill is about $300 a month. This fee at the new place is half of that and the heat is with it too. Hell yeah, Im taking this shot.

So then the man takes the information down and wants an application and a couple of pay stubs for the background checks. Hmmm... background checks. This means the new landlord was serious about who he rents to. I can deal with that too. I have nothing to hide. So then this man says to put a deposit down to hold the place while they process the background check to approve. I didnt have the money with me so he told me to come back by friday with it. I said ok.

Well come friday, I wasnt able to go over there and I also checked craigslist and the apartment wasnt listed anymore. I thought to myself, shit, its gone to someone else because I didnt have that little deposit on me at the time. But they had my application. Maybe there will be another opening soon. Then on Wednesday, I got the call that the apartment was mine. The landlord himself called and wanted to know if I was still interested because the lady that was supposed to have a deposit didnt show up. Ha ha ha. I had to laugh and I told him that was me anyways. So he had me come over to sign a lease for the middles of Sept. Of course, I was there in a flash.

So now I have a new place to move into. I need to get my butt in gear to get all my junk packed up and ready to move.

Im moving on....

Im Movin On...Part 1

Im Movin On....

Had the song from Rascal Flatts in my head but it was coming out more like the Jeffersons theme. Yep... Im movin on up.... Got that one stuck in your head now huh. Its not like that though. The new apartment is a first floor. No sky view for me. In a way, thats a good thing because I needed a first floor apartment because most of my family cant climb stairs.

Being on a first floor always makes me a little nervous. Im always conscious of people looking in my windows. Not that Im the type that shuts myself up, but I just cant stand the thought of people knowing more than they should about me. I am a private person. My home is my castle. Although, I wish it was a castle. But we all know that wont be happening any time soon.

In a way I will miss this old house. But there are a lot of reasons to haul on up out of here. The cons list is longer than the pros list. I love old houses, but they require a lot of upkeep that is just not being done. I dont own this place so there is not a lot I can do about it. The place is getting worse and worse and the work isnt being done.

About 10 years ago, we moved in here to help the landlord fix the place up a little since the previous tenants completely destroyed it. The original agreement was a couple of years of maintenance in here and we would move on. Well its been 8 years too long. We held up our end of the deal and its time to go. The walls are cracking worse, the ceiling is cracking worse. The doorways are leaning. Oh, did I meantion that the walls are cracking? Yeah, its getting bad.

The house has been settling more than it should be. The basement needs floor jacks, the first floor needs floor jacks and so does the second floor. This was never done. The house needs new siding. This was never done. The slate roof needs to be removed because of the severe weight. This was never done. Now the damage is too much. We have tried in vain all these years to fix the cracks but now we just cant keep up.

The rooms are too small. I want a real bathroom. Not a water closet. Literally, I have a closet that was converted into a bathroom. The tub didnt have a shower. When we moved in, we created one. Walls and all. Its not a bad job. The sink was too big so we installed a smaller one. There was no way to fix the size of the room though. Its a narrow room. You have to squeeze your ass between the shower and the sink to get to the toilet. Its about 17 inches of space to do so. Not happening for some people. I was getting really tired of that. And the toilet was always breaking.

The bedrooms are really small. My bedroom is only a 9x10. There is no room in here. The front bedroom is even smaller. Can you imagin? The livingroom and diningroom are decent size but still a little cramped. The kitchen is a decent sized room. The biggest in the apartment. But one doesnt live in just the kitchen. And there are hardly any cabinets. The washer and dryer take up most of the space. The stove is old and has to be hand lit when you needed to use it. And there wasnt a dish washer.

There is a huge fenced in back yard though. That would be the only highlight feature. Not having to walk my dog and clean up every time. I could just let her out and rake it up later. But we were the ones that had to do the yard work in the summer and winter. I got tired of that too. Especially when the landlord borrowed the mower and broke it. And we used our own snowblower to do the winter work.

The place was always loaded with spiders. I know its an old house but it was getting a little out of hand. I refuse to go up in my attic for fear of whats up there. I know its all my own stuff up there but its really creepy. I dont use the basement. I wouldnt go down there either.

I really believe that a new place would be much better. But its also very hard to find a place that allows pets and still has decent rent and decent living. Ive looked at more places than you can shake a stick at, and believe me, people do more damage than the pets do.

Its time to move on......

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Countdown Begins....

The Countdown Begins....

So Im counting down the last days of my summer vacation. This really sucks. The summer went by way too soon. Im not ready to go back. Yeah, can you picture me stamping my feet and crying like a little kid. And to think, thats what Im going back to. You know those kids are going to feel the same way. But they love us. And Im sure they miss us as much as we miss them.

The summer came and went way too fast. I didnt get to do all the things that I wanted to do. Money was tight and now that we are moving, its even tighter. Im having some neighborhood issues. My car was broke into. The tires on my truck were slashed. Its just been one thing after another. I was reading in the news that Im not the only one. There are some kids that are going to various neighborhoods to do these deeds. All for fun. I really hope they catch them so I can go downtown and beat them with my slugger.

Is it me or am I alone in this. Parents should know where their kids are at all times. If my child was out there roaming the city, I would be having a heart attack. Why cant parents watch their kids? I understand to give them a little freedom but this stuff is happening long after midnight. Maybe Im a bad parent for making sure my kid is sleeping and tucked all snug in her bed at night.

I was chatting with my neice a little bit earlier. We were talking about todays kids. Now mind you that shes not that far off from highschool. And she recently graduated from college. But the topic was how girls are dressing. We both agreed that they are little tramps. That brings the above topic back into focus. What are these parents thinking? These little girls were at the mall and she said they looked at about 13 years old. They were wearing next to nothing and showing off everything. And then the parents wonder why bad things happen. Its like you can almost predict which ones will end up in a ditch someday. Once again, I must be a bad parent.

This week will be an interesting one. My child has had another medication change and shes not sleeping again. I know I have posted about this a dozen times or more. ADHD is a very difficult thing to handle for both the child and the parent. School will be starting soon and she needs to be up at 6am to get ready. Im seeing that this is not going to be happening. The new medication is supposed to allow her to have calmer mornings. So far that part is working but the sleeping is still difficult. I dont know about you but when I dont get enough sleep, Im a pain in the ass. Can you imagine a child with ADHD and ODD? Its hell. Pure hell. For both of us.

I was debating on starting the 6am routine a little early so that should break a cycle. No more sleeping til 8am. She has to be to school at that time and I need to be to work as well. So Im thinking we need to start this now and get into the old routine. This should prove to be very interesting. Anyone want to do this for me? But the good part is that there is a DD and a McD across from my school so I can get all the coffee I need.

We are going to the camp on Thursday to spend the night. There is a local resort that has fireworks. I dont like to drive through that area at night so we will be sleeping over. Not a bad deal. I love spending the night at the camp. Sitting by the fire and making s'mores. But then all that sugar leads to an all nighter with my kid. Oh well. Lets have one last blast before school. Not like it makes a difference. Shes up anyways.

We will be moving soon to a new apartment. I cant wait. Im dreading the packing and unpacking but this will be a good thing. There are some benefits to living in the new place. Bigger rooms. Better neighborhood. Safer place. Then there are the downfalls. Less rooms because Im losing a third bedroom. No attic for storage. No big fenced in yard or the dog to run. Now I will have a garage to store stuff but I also have to walk my dog on a leash and clean up after her by hand. Nothing like doing the two handed deal with a shopping bag. I dont have a large dog but she does have some pretty large piles. Also another benefit is that I dont have to shovel the driveway or mow the lawn. We shall see how this all works out.

I havent been doing too much this summer with my jewelry business. Ive been more relaxed and just living life. I need to get back into the swing of things with that. The sanity is a blessing both ways. I need the cash as well. With the new bigger room, I will be able to have more space to work. Also with the garage, I will have some work space for my trunks too. I havent worked on them all summer either. I need to get some of those done and sold soon.

Let the countdown begin til I have to go back to work. In a way Im looking forward to it, and yet I like being at home. But I love my job and I really do miss the kids.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Happy Birthday!!

We have come full circle....

Eleven years ago, on this very day, a beautiful little girl was brought into the world at 2:50 am. It was a Wednesday morning just like this one. She weighed in at 11 lbs, 11 oz. So that makes it that she was born on the 11th, and her weight added to the fun. This year is the full circle on the calendar where the days match up and she turns 11. So tomorrows lucky number will be 11.

Happy Birthday to my little peanut. I luvs you more than life itself.

Monday, August 02, 2010

A Mid Summer Nights Dream....

A Mid Summer Nights Dream....

Once upon a time.... Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so the story goes. It is officially the middle of my vacation. Its going by way too fast. Today is already the 2nd of August. In just a few days, my darling daughter will turn 11. Its amazing how this is all falling into place. She was born on August 11 and she weighed 11 pounds, 11 ounces. So this year on the 11th she will turn 11. Everyone go play the lottery. Just kidding. No one play it but me.

This past Thursday, my mom was in another car accident. This time I think the car is done for. Its been a jinx since she got it. The thing is, its brand new. She traded in her 2007 for a 2010. I told her that she shouldnt have done that but she wanted the new model with all the bells and whistles. I like the new bells and whistles, but now they dont work.

This time it was someone who decided that she didnt need to look at on coming traffic before cutting out into a busy four lane highway during rush hour. I wonder if she enjoyed getting hit in the driverside at about 50mph. Everyone is ok and no one got hurt. She admitted her guilt and also a few witnesses verified that for her. So now my mom is driving a loaner car again for a while. This time its a PT Cruiser and she hates it. I hate them too but what can you do.

My daughter is doing well on the new medication. She takes it at night and it helps ease her mornings very well. Shes perky and in a good mood. Nothing groggy and no side effects. I should knock on wood. But the thing is, In order for her to take this, she was taken off one of the other night meds. Now shes up half the night again. The only time she will sleep is when you are watching her because she knows she cant play or walk around the house. But even then shes just laying there in bed til the wee hours of the morning. I myself havent slept in days. We are averaging about 3 hours a night, if that. I called her doctor but hes on vacation til Wednesday.

I have decided to contact a specialist for my skin. For some odd reason, this summer I have had really dry skin. I drink a lot of liquids but that doesnt seem to work. Im not dehydrated. Just dry skin. Its annoying. If I use a moisturizer, it makes it worse or it makes my skin scaley. I have talked to others about this and consulted some websites. I was pretty muc told that it could be hormonal because of my age. This really sucks. Also I have noticed the same thing with my hair. Its turning towards being curly and frizzy. I have always had straight hair and I always take care of my hair. Thats a major thing with me. But maybe it is hormonal and things are changing. If so, then this sucks even more.