Saturday, March 21, 2009

Hey Maz!!!

Hey Maz!! Whats my name?





I havent talked to Christy in a while so I wanted to call her to see how things have been. I know she was sick for a while and then somehow she poisoned herself. But of course we can blame the Yankee that she is harboring. Of course he might not even read this one. He never reads my blogs. Well, if he does, he never comments. He would have so much ammo for his blogs. Sheesh... talk about wasting material.

Just kidding because we all know how much Mazzy is loved.

I called her house tonight and I know I got the number right. Maz answered and I knew his voice. This is how it went....

Maz: Hello?

Me: Hey!!!!

Maz: Who is this?

Me: *said my name*

Maz: You have the wrong number. *click*

Huh? I know I dialed it right. I checked my book again and I checked the redial. It was right. I know it was him. At least it sounded like him.

So I decided to cover the bases and call the cell phone. I dialed the number and it rang a few times. Christy answered the phone and I asked her what her phone number was. She told me the same number that I had dialed before. I said that I just called and was told it was a wrong number. She started laughing and said that she heard Maz tell someone that it was the wrong number.

I told her to smack him. She was laughing and then she said that Maz didnt know my name so he thought I was asking for someone with my name. He said that all he heard was me say my name and assumed that I was looking for that person. But then why would he say something about not knowing my name.

Wow, that just confused me.

So now Christy is asking Maz what my name is. He he he .....

On another note....

The week finally ended. It didnt end well though. I was forced to miss the wedding as I have a fever and all that stomach crap too. Cami is still sick and wasnt well today either. What ever this bug is, it needs to be squished. It really kicks your ass. I dont want to give this to anyone. Im really sorry for missing the event though. But trust me, you dont want to catch this.

Thursday was aweful. I brought Cami to school and she made it through the morning assembly. Then she went to the nurses office and threw up. I took her home. Friday she stayed home.

Saturday, I had an eye doctor appointment and then I had planned to go see my father. I called to make sure Cami took a shower and was ready. Then I called my father to tell him that we would be there shortly. Then I called Cami again and she said she wasnt feeling well. I called my father back to tell him that we would see him on Sunday. Lets see how that works out tomorrow.

Hey Maz!!!! Whats my name?

He he he....

Thursday, March 19, 2009



Im really getting tired of this circle of getting sick. Its a viscious cycle. Its never ending. But this time its pretty bad.

Monday morning was aweful. Cami was so sick. She had a high fever and everything was coming out both ends. Of course we stayed home from school. I wasnt feeling all that well with a head cold that I got. That was getting worse as well. But the fever was about 100 and she was feeling quite crappy. Literally.

Monday night was worse. She was waking up alot and crying because her tummy hurt. Poor kid. The fever was still there and she was pretty well medicated. But she was still feeling the blues and she slept in my bed where it was cooler. I still have the AC in the window so we had that on all night.

Tuesday morning was the worse. 101.8 I went to work and she stayed home with her dad. He took her to the doctor and they said that as long as shes eating and drinking, shes going to be fine. Its a stomach flu that is going around. Ya think? We have had it a few times already. But she is eating and drinking so there is no reason to worry. She played in a cool bath and was feeling a little better.

Wednesdat morning, she was sick again with a 101.2 fever. She stayed home again. I went to work and busted my ass with getting a project done for the kids to present to the school for Womens History. I had a whole timeline set up for Harriet Tubman. You wouldnt believe how many of those kids had no idea who she was. It boggles the mind.

But I had it all laid out and ready to put together. I had some kids helping with the writing. I had some kids doing the pictures. I had alot of work going on with this that I didnt think straight when I was taping it all together. I ended up putting it backwards. So we had to cut it all apart and redo the whole thing. I only had a couple of hours to do all this but we got it done. Good thing I have a creative side.

I took the kids to lunch and recess and then I had to leave to go home because her dad had a doc appointment. I was sad to have to miss the presentation. But my priorities are to my kid first.

Thursday morning came and the fever was pretty much gone but she was being a total witch. She wasnt feeling good but we had to try school. We made it through the main part of the morning and got to the school. She was being whiney but I told her we had to try. During assembly, I saw he double over a little and I was a bit concerned. Her teacher sent her to the nurses office. While in there, she threw up and we had to go home again.

As I sit her writing this, she is in bed but still awake coughing. Im not sure if shes going to school in the morning. I doubt it. Shes been a wreck and its taken its toll on me too. Im not all that well but as an adult, I can handle it alot better.

Also tomorrow night is my neices wedding and I may have to miss it. Im really sorry about it and I want to go really bad. But being sick wont be a good thing around so many people having a good time. It breaks my heart but I will do my best to attend.

Big hugs for you and congrats. I luvs you guys.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Driving Miss Daisy....

Driving Miss Daisy....

Today is the big day. Road trip. Im looking forward to it but my ass isnt. Yep. Ive been sick again. I swear that once this school stuff is over, Im having my ass replaced. Preferably with one that looks like Beyonce but thats another story. There seems to be this stomach bug that gets passed around and it just doesnt seem t o give me a break. Oh did I mention that its painful too?

I havent been sleeping too well since this whole time change thing. I dont really sleep too well to begin with. Im a light sleeper as well. So when I do fall asleep, I hear everything that happens in my house. There are some rare occasions that I will pass out cold though. Mostly that happens when Im sick.

Today happened to be one of those days. I finally fell asleep at about 3am and I knew I was going to have to be up at 7am. But something happened that I wasnt prepared for. My damn alarm went off at 630am. That pisses me off because I really needed that extra half hour. Even a few minutes with the snooze on is a dream. My normal morning consists of the alarm at 630, then snooze is set to eight minutes. I hit that til about ten minutes til 7am. So thats what I was up against. I was hoping for the straight sleep but that didnt happen.

At about 715am I finally rolled out of bed. But this was after being woken up about four times. I really hate mornings. Im not perky in the morning. Im not even awake mentally til at least 10am. My bright eyes and bushy tail are still sleeping. But I dragged myself to the bathroom. The pain in my gut wasnt pleasant but it did help to wake me up a little. I took my shower and did my best to look presentable to the world. Cami woke up at about this time and she jumped in the shower.

She tends to take forever in there so I rushed her along. She wasnt too pleased about that but I didnt care. We needed to hustle along because Grandpa would be outfront at 9am. Most of the time he is a little early so we needed to be ready for when he beeped. He doesnt like coming up the stairs so he waits outside.

We were all ready to go and got in the vehicle. I know he is heading to the thruway. I ate a couple of fried eggs before I left so that I had something in my stomach. I think Cami has some cereal to much while I was getting dressed. I know she doesnt do too well on long car trips. I forgot a change of clothes and a bowl. Oops. But she said she was feeling fine. I told her that there are some bags for her to puke in if she needed to. She had her DS and some books to keep her busy.

I, on the otherhand, was not doing so well. I was wide awake but felt like I had a hangover. My sinuses hurt and my head was pounding. Coffee. I needed coffee. Sugar. I needed sugar. My father isnt one that will stop somewhere unless he has to. I know he will eventually hit one of the rest areas. Im hoping that its one that has a DD. Dunkin Donuts. I dont usually eat the tasty treats because they just sit in my stomach like rocks. But I like the coffee. And normally I dont drink hot coffee. I prefer iced. But this was one of those mornings where I really didnt care.

I hate a headache when on a road trip. But Cami wanted a donut and so did he. I got three of them and my cup of joe. We sat down and ate. Then Cami had to use the bathroom. I dont like public bathrooms. Especially ones at rest stops where thousands of people come and go. I know they do their best to keep them clean but you cant always be sure. Shes still not completely good at balancing above the bowl. I taught her the toilet paper trick though. But to me, sometimes that isnt even enough.

I told her that to be on the safe side, let me go first and then she can use the one I did. Of course I cleaned that seat really good just in case. So I went and then she went. We went back to the table, she finished eating and then it was back on the road again. I was feeling better with sugar in my belly and my coffee in my hand.

A little while later we pulled into town. But the sad part is that we were an hour early. Well hell. I could have slept an extra hour if I had known this. But we ended up walking down the row of shops while waiting for the others to show up. We talked and walked for about 45 minutes and then we saw my uncles truck pull in. My cousins daughter was with them and Cami knows her. They immediatly went to the shaded side of the car to play video games. They both have ADHD so they get along famously.

A short time later, my cousin pulls in with my aunts in her car. They picked up Carol from the nursing home to join us out for lunch. We got to this chinese buffet that is really good. They have a little of everything there. Todays special was crab legs. I was looking forward to those but there was some fat slob in front of me in line that took all the big ones and left the tiny scraps. I was a little miffed but I didnt say anything. I will wait til they put more out and get them then.

I grabbed a little of this and a little of that. I went back up for the legs and sure enough, that bastard got to them again. He was walking back with his plate heaping high with about 20 legs. WTF? One of the workers there noticed this and went to the manager about it. That man sat there for almost an hour waiting for the next set to be put out. I couldnt believe it. He even walked past a table near to where I was sitting to tell a buddy of his that he will eat this place out before he leaves. Im sure he would too. Considering that while we were there, he ate at least nine plates of food. I shit you none. My uncle is a big man but he doesnt eat nearly that amount of food in one sitting.

This man went up there at least six times looking for legs. He came back every time bitching. That one girl knew I wanted some so she got me a plate of them. She put on six nice plump legs for me. I will leave her a nice tip. Mr. Hog over there was a little miffed when she told him that there werent any more. He saw what she did and he wasnt too pleased with it. Too f***ing bad fatso. Im not one that says bad things about overweight people but when they are hogs like that, that pisses me off. Taking advantage of things like that.

I was at a place once and watched a man take the whole roast beef that they slice for people. He just walked up, plopped the whole damn thing on his plate and proceeded to eat the whole thing. Then bragged that he couldnt get a roast like that anywhere else for the $7 he paid to eat there. But its people like that, sitting there with thier arteries harding, that piss me off. I was actually waiting for the ziplock baggies to come out for stashes to take home. I wouldnt be surprised.

We sat there at the table for a little while longer, got dessert and then chatted about whats been happening lately. Even some of the waitstaff chatted with us too. We are pretty friendly and as they told us, we are people that they enjoy having at their restaurant. Its not that we eat alot but we enjoy what they prepare. And that one waitress got a nice tip for her service against the slob. I enjoyed that alot. Karma baby. Karma.

Once that was done, we went outside to say our goodbyes. I took the traditional photo of everyone. Some lady offered so that I could be in it too but I declined. I dont like my picture taken as it is. But we all had a good time and its good to see them all. We will be back again in April for the next visit.

The trip home was uneventful and of course I dozed off in the car. As soo as we got home, it was nap time. I had a full belly of good food and I was ready to sleep it off.

Im hoping that we can make a trip out soon to the mines though. I look forward to that.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Work Work and more Work...

Work Work and more Work....

I got alot done today. Nothing that you would deem as real work though. I spent the day at the shop making things. I felt very inspirational. Actually I was finishing a necklace and I was determined to get it done. I liked how it was coming along and I wanted to see the finished piece. I also made a few bracelets and two of them went right to a new home as soon as I did them. That works for me. Im now determined to finish up a couple of other projects that have been plaguing me for a while. One happens to be a gift to someone. I was having alot of trouble on it and I want to get it done. But I need help on it.

There will be some new goodies going up on the website. Im also getting a page set up for Upcoming Pieces because I need to catalog them and stuff before I can actually price them. I figured that at least they will be there for viewing. I have so much stuff that needs to be put up and I also need to get selling and collect the cash. I keep making more and more and not selling because the items arent on the site. This isnt good for business.

Camp season opens in about 4 to 5 weeks. That means mommy will be home soon. I was debating on going down to the camp soon to start cleaning it all up and getting the outside ready. I also want to bring down some building blocks and reconstruct the firepit. Some of the lower blocks are breaking because of the extreme heat from Mousies pyro-activities. Believe me, we have some really nice fires going in that pit. Also I will be scarfing some of his copper wire for my work. But only when I need it. I really do enjoy the blue and purple fires.

Spring is getting closer because my sinuses are acting up. My face has been hurting for a couple of days now. That is a good sign. Well a good sign for spring but not for my face. I napped a little when I got home today to try to kick the headache but that didnt help. At least this spring will be without that damn tree. The seedlings all over the place will haunt me though. No one ever listens to me. I told them to cover the damn thing when they were cutting the branches and all the sawdust. Thats what caused about a billion seedlings to cover the lawn now. Stupid. But what do I know?

My feet are feeling pretty good this weekend. Ive been behaving and staying off them. I havent been doing alot of walking. We did go on a field trip on Friday and saw the most amazing film. It was a 3D one about prehistoric sea creatures. Underwater dinosaurs. Then they had a workshop after. They all had a great time. Even the adults.

Tomorrow we are taking an early trip to see my aunts and uncles. I love taking this trip but its the headache of the road trip that kills me. I wont be driving this time. My father is doign that and Im riding to make sure that hes not alone on the road. Thats reassuring. Id rather drive but I would also rather drive his vehicle. But that wont be happening unless its necessary. Dont ask me why. I just need to remember to pack Cami some extra clothes and a bowl. She doesnt do too well on long trips with her stomach. I also forgot to grab some of her Adderall from the nurses office to take too. Its the one that she takes in the afternoon. So the trip back should be a blast. Why cant she be like other kids and nap in the car? I do.

Im still working on this time change thing. Im stuck in an hour behind mode. Someone get me out of it. A little later Im going to try to post a picture or two up here of some new stuff Ive been working on. Lets see if that works. I cant seem to post pictures here for some reason. I will work something out for that. Im just an idiot.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Bring Me To Life....

Bring Me To Life....

Weird that I am actually listening to that song right now. It made me think of something to write.

I thought Spring was finally here. I got all excited the other night when I came home from class and saw lightning. Yeah, me, the one who is afraid of lightning got excited over it. TO me, a thunderstorm is almost welcome because it means that the air and the ground are warming up. A sure sign of Spring.

Another sign that caught me off guard was seeing the V formations of the geese. In the past few days I have seen three of these such formations. Heading north. Or at least to the nearest park with a pond. Thats a good sign right?

Another thing that always represented the coming of Spring was the fact that we have to turn our clocks an hour ahead. In a way I really hate this part because that means we lose an hour of sleep. Its hard for me to get used to this. I like my sleep when I can actually get it. Last night wasnt such a night.

I couldnt sleep. I did fall asleep but I woke up coughing. I think it was the moisture in the air. Its been raining for a couple of days and I still have my AC in the window. There is alot of moisture that seeps through the openings around the AC unit. Its sealed off for bugs but thats about all. I like the night air. Even in the winter I prefer the coolness. Plous the fact that my neighbors have a hard time understanding how to use the thermostat properly. Its hot up here. I have a fan in my doorway that runs all the time. I cant stand the heat. Its hard to sleep when you are sweating. And everyone wonders why I am sick alot.

So this morning was really tough on me. I dozed off but that cough woke me up and every time I tried to lay back down, I would cough again. I ended up propping myself up and slept that way. But I didnt fall back to sleep until somewhere around 430am. My alarm went off at about 630am. I was groggy but I knew I had to get motivated. I took a hot shower and I was on my way.

It was pouring rain out this morning when I went to work. I wasnt complaining at all though. I prefer this over snow. Of course I had to mention that though. I seemed to have been hit by the jinx monster on that call. I was feeling realy groggy. The sort of feeling you get from jet-lag or even a mild hangover. If it was the hangover, I surely dont remember how I got it. Must have been fun.

So all morning I was feeling like I was dragging my ass and I must have left it somewhere. Right along with my bright eyes and bushy tail. I was just not up to par at all. At about 10am, I was looking out the window in the classroom when I noticed that the rain was turning to a mix. Damnit. I didnt want this. Then the big flakes were coming down. But it wasnt sticking. We all enjoyed watching the flakes hit the ground and vanish. It looked as if they were goign through the ground with a magicical force. It was really cool. Of course this spawned a lesson on the weather and how the ground temp changes. The snow wasnt sticking because the ground was warmer.

Or so I thought. About a hour later, that all changed and the snow was starting to stick. This means things were cooling down and I wasnt liking that idea too much. One of the teachers came in and said the roads were really slick with an icy coating. Wonderful. Just wonderful. This is not a good time to be telling me this. I really hoped that this would be changing soon.

I finished up the day hoping that things would be changing. At about 300pm, the rain was coming back down and to me that was a good sign. The snow was pretty much gone off the sidewalks. This meant clear streets for the drive home. My brain wasnt in any condition to drive on ice.

Cami has an afterschool chess club so I was waiting around for her. Nicole was in cheerleading. I was bringing her home too. At about 430pm, things were looking much better. I dropped Nicole off and headed for home. Once home, I got something to eat, helped Cam with her homework and passed out for an hour. I was whooped.

I really cant believe how losing that one hour totally wiped me out.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Exploding gases.........

Exploding gases....

No this post isnt about space travel. Although there is an interesting article on the news about that. They are sending a ship up and beyond to explore space for other Earth-like planets.

Its interesting to see what comes back.

Actually this post is more about this past weeks activities and also there is a restaurant in the news that is somehow related.,8599,1882569,00.html?cnn=yes

Dont ask. But I can tell you that I wont be eating there any time soon.

This week has been a blur. It was testing week and everyone was super stressed out. Especially me because Im in one room while Cami is taking a test in another room. Im seeing what is on the tests and hoping she remembers how to do the stuff. Its the State Math Exam. We all hate math tests. Especially me.

Monday was interesting as she was sent home from school with a fever and sick stomach. I wasnt feeling all that well either so I was happy to take her home and we prettymuch chilled out for the rest of the day. Tuesday, we went to school because of the exam. She was doing ok. She ate lunch and she had a decent day over all.

Wednesday was a decent day as well and I got wind that she did very well on part one of the exam. But her sick tummy and fever was back. We pulled through the day and later, I went to class. Thursday morning was the bomber. Literally. I had just stepped out of the shower when Cami came in to use the bathroom. She just made it to the seat before her ass exploded. The sounds alone sent me running out of the room. I think she lost about 10 pounds in there and the smell was like something died.

I checked her temp and she also had a fever. I called in to work and then I sent her back to bed. At about 11am, she was in there again and I called her doctor. Its a stomach flu. Just wonderful. We just got over that a couple of weeks ago and now its back. Im really getting tired of illness. So we spent the day in bed watching tv and napping all day. Im sure I will catch hell about it at school though. It was a half day for the kids but it was a full day for staff. We had a meeting to go to. Sorry.

Today went a little better. She still wasnt feeling well but we went to school because I could have sworn we had a field trip today. Even the bus driver showed up for it. But apparently its next week. How did I end up a week ahead of myself? And I wasnt the only one. Something freaky is going on here. But we got through the day and then went to the mall for some dinner. It was cool because while we were at Grandpas, Cami wanted to do card tricks. So I showed her a couple and then we left. While at dinner, Craig, our waiter, also did a couple and she won a prize for picking the right card. Of course he used trick cards. I dont use them when I do the tricks.

When we got home, I somehow fell asleep and had a weird dream. Yep, you guessed it. Its that time again folks. Everyones favorite topic. My weird dreams. I will blame it on the french onion soup I ate at dinner. This one is a good one.

I cant remember how it all got started but somehow I was in a house with my mom and step dad. Mind you that he has passed away. But somehow appears in various weird dreams. This time though, we were greated with guests. It was a weird layout to the house. The guests were my aunt and uncle and a couple of married cousins that brought all their kids. Thing is, they all dont have kids. Only one of them that was there has a child. But somehow there wre about 6 little boys running around making it a hell day for the pets.

Then a friend of mine showed up. But I dont seem to actually recognize him. I remember that his name was Brian and he wanted a tour of the house. So I took him on a tour and he mentioned how cool the rooms were. One room in particular was really cool. It was like an attic room that had a bar and a pool table so we shot poolo for hours. Thats pretty much where I woke up on that one.

The dream I had this evening though was quite strange. I was in a downtown location sitting on some steps to a huge building. There were alot of steps. I was sitting there with a back pack and all the contents on the steps. Like I was sorting through it all. It was stuff I would normally have in my purse. But I also had alot of earrings. I really dont know why though. Suddenly there was shooting. It was really close and I could see it happening. I gathered all my stuff and shoved it all into the pack. I looked up and my friends were just down the block on two-wheeled scooters. They yelled for me to hurry and I ran to my scooter. We took off just as we heard more shots fired.

So here we are zooming through downtown. Its also the middle of the night so there isnt much traffic. There were times that we were on major highways and bridges. Just cruising around. Then I said to one of my other friends that we had to get to the airport for a flight time. She looked at me and was in shock that she forgot about it. She didnt have her luggage so we were going to go and get it. We found it on the street somewhere near where the shooting was. She grabbed it and off we went.

We got lost downtown on the way to the airport. It was weird driving those things and we were going up and down streets. No one was around and somehow all the other friends were gone. It was just the two of us. We talked about what we would do when we got to Ireland. Ok, this is weird now because I had no idea that was were we were going.

We finally made it to the airport and parked the scooters. On the way in, we ran into a bunch of people that were also going to Ireland. She was all about the cute guys and meeting up with them when we got there. I just wanted to get in line so that we didnt miss our flight. The line was on a sort of moving track. Upwards. To the ceiling area. There was a lady there taking tickets. All I had was this one back pack and she had a ton of luggage. I still dont know how all that luggage got there with her.

We got to the ticket lady and my friend decided that she wasnt going to go. I was shocked because this trip was her idea. She said that there was a cute guy at the bottom of the track waiting for her to go out with him. I said that he could come along and she didnt want to do it that way. So she left. I was standing there with my ticket. Someone else ran up to her and wanted her ticket to go with me and she refused. Then she decided that she would go with me anyways. That is where I woke up. Im very confused with this one.

I know who the friend is and Im not mentioning her name. Its not anyone that I chat with on line though and its not anyone that I work with. But it was really strange. I wanted to go to Ireland. I have no idea why though. Its not on my list of potential trips that I want to take. What is it about Ireland that is so important to me? And I was upset that I almost ended up going alone.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Dream Weaver....

Dream Weaver...

As I typed that out, I also went into YouTube to find the video for it. I really liked that song. Also there is a new complaint about YouTube. Most of my favorite videos are gone. Apparently Warner Music got pissy about the rights and pulled everything. So all those cool videos are gone. Pissed me off actually.

But anywho, I was a little bored tonight and decided to do a post about everyones favorite subject.... My weird dreams. I dont know why I have weird dreams and I would really like to know the meaning of them. Some of them are just so far gone that you would swear I had a healthy dose of MSG before bed. Its either that or the Italian Ice that I ate after some Spanish rice for dinner. Wait... I didnt have this particular dream last night. Ok, so that means I cant explain why I had it.

The dream was so vivid and realistic. You know, the kind where everything is clear and you run and run and wake up exhausted. Except in this one, I wasnt running anywhere. I was actually driving. I was driving a dream in a dream. The object of my dream was a brand spankin new 'stang convertible. It was a smoky silver color with a black top. Sweetest car. Yes, there are times that I do dream about cars. Especially if its a Mustang.

But here is the weird part. I was driving in the desert. Im not sure where but somehow Texas comes to mind. I was definately in tumbleweed country. I just remember alot of very large powerline towers in the area. I remember seeing an old ranch house. Not much was with the ranch though. There was an old man on the porch. The weird thing was the hound dog laying on the top step with a shot gun unger his front paws. Like this was something so normal.

I pulled up in front of the house. I dont know why though. Maybe to ask for directions out of Death Valley or maybe to get some water. More than likely it was for some tanning oil so that I didnt turn into a bright red lobster. But regardless of why, I just did it. I sat in my car for a while and suddenly my own dog appeared on the front seat next to me. How weird is that?

Suddenly a loud sound was heard just before a thunk on the roof of my car. My dog started to growl and I could hear a loud screaching. I know it wasnt me making the sound but there was definately something on the roof of my car. It was moving. I could see it through the material. It was something large. I looked out the window and the old man was still sitting there. However, his dog moved a little. Well at least his head did.

I told my dog to stay put and I stepped out of the car. I could not believe what I saw. There was a deer on the roof of my car. No this wasnt one of Santas pets. This was a regular deer. Only thing is, it wasnt alive. I know I didnt hit it. If I did, then that was a long shot to the air before it landed. I dont remember going that fast. But that wasnt the only thing on there. Eating the deer was an extremely large buzzard. Vulture. Scavenger bird. Death itself. It looked at me like I had my car in the wrong spot so its my fault he is on the roof. Ooookkkkk..... This isnt looking so good. You know what they say about big flesh eating birds in the desert. Lunch. And you might be next.

This caused a sort of panic to rise within myself. I swallowed hard as I tried to think of a way to get the bird and its tasty meal off my car. I mean, those talons would do a hell of a job on the vinyl roof. It would be a bitch to replace. Plus all the blood. I dont want blood on my car. Sheesh. So I looked to the old man for an answer. He was still just sitting there. He took his pipe out of his mouth and said that Ol' Jake there would take care of the problem. I then looked toward the dog. I was a little shocked to see that he was up on his haunches with the site of the rifle aimed at the target. The target being the bird on my car.

I was freaked. How in the world would a dog be able to shoot a shotgun? My dog was still in the front seat thinking she was the next meal. By this time, a few more of these bald headed beasts were gathering around. This is how I know there were powerlines in the area because that is where they were all hanging out. The only thought that went through my mind at that moment was The Birds. Its one thing to have a bunch of crows and skyrats hanging around but these birds were big enough to carry my ass away. And just for the record, there werent just a few now. There were at least fifty of them and some more circling above.

The old man on the porch didnt even seem in the least bit frazzled by all this. He just sat there toking away on his pipe like this was the normal Sunday afternoon. I, on the other hand, was about to panic and scream as loud as I could. I was not about to become the dessert after that deer was consumed. My poor dog didnt know what to do but just sit there with a look in her eyes that I knew was fear.

The hound was still aiming at the roof of my car and waiting for his masters instruction to shoot. Then a thought hit me. Vultures live in the remote areas. If I could just leave and get to somewhere green, they wouldnt bother me. They only prefer dead things right? Well I wasnt dead and I wasnt planning on being dead for a long time. So I decided to jump into my car and drive away. I hit the gas and tore up out of there like hell on wheels. Im sure I made enough dust to divert the attention of the birds. I fishtailed and spun around a few times trying to shake the bird off my car.

I pretty much succeeded in doing that task but the deer was still up there and the birds were now following me. I was punching at the roof trying to bump the deer off my car. It wasnt moving. I was looking for some place to pull over and get it off the car but there wasnt anywhere that there wasnt a bird waiting for me. I stopped the car and rolled the window down. I figured that I could grab the thing that way and pull it off and be on my way. No such luck. As soon as I opened the window, the bird was back on the roof and continuing its meal.

I gave up that prospect and just started to drive. Suddenly in front of me, there were a bunch of birds circling and landing on the wires. There was no escape from them. But I kept driving on. It seemed like I drove for hours. Trying to dodge the birds and praying that I had enough gas to get me to someplace green. Thats all that mattered. Someplace green.

Suddenly I drove into a field. A real field. A green field. I was still on the same road though. But now I was surrounded with cows. It was like I was driving through a Winsconsin dairy farm. The deer was still on the roof but there were no buzzards to be seen. I stopped the car and pulled the deer off the roof and got back in. My only thought now was to find somewhere to get a drink. I woke up feeling drained, exhausted and very thirsty.

That was such a sweet car though. But I think that if I ever get a Mustang, I will opt for a red one just to be on the safe side.