Hair Today....Gone Tomorrow....

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hair Today....Gone Tomorrow

Current mood: accomplished

Body hair. I know there is a purpose for it to be there. Its to protect our skin from harmful elements. I see the point. But I dont want to see the hair. Im female and I like it that way.
Im very fair skinned. The hair on my arms and legs is very pale and fine. So much so that you dont even notice that I have hair there. I have no desire to wax my arms. I have no need to. But there are some chicks out there that do and I feel sorry for them. Trust me guys, its a painful process that we women go through to look good for you.

Secretly behind our bathroom doors, we pluck, wax, shave, add creams and scream til our eyeballs fall out. But when we emerge from that torture chamber, we are looking fairly well enough for you to look at. And we even let you touch. Think of the benefits there, eh boyz?

Im going to take a small trip down memory lane. My sister used to pluck her eyebrows. Actually I think she still does. I used to sit and watch her do this. Who in their right mind would sit there for hours on end and willingly pluck each hair one by one to make it look perfect? Are you nuts? My thought was always to yell boo and see if she makes a mistake.

Then I would watch her use Nair on her legs. I asked her why she used that when I know every other female in my family shaved their legs. She said that it was much easier that way. So later when she wasnt around I tried it on my legs. HOLY COW!!! It burned. WTF?? Ok I will never do that again.

So now we come to the future. You would think that they would come up with something that is alot better to use. I guess Im not into plucking so I get my eyebrows waxed. Yeah its about $10 every time I do this but its worth the effort. No effort on my part. And nearly painless. Yeah it smarts for a few seconds. Not like Im going to sit there for a couple of hours with a mirror and some tweezers and cause myself unwanted pain. Thats just self mutilation if ya ask me.

Now for the legs. I prefer to use a shower gel. For some unknown reason that I am yet to come up with, shaving creams and shaving gels cause me to cut myself. Not like I try to do this on purpose. Do you honestly think I want to walk around with a dozen bandaids on my knees and ankles? I would think not. I dont care how small the bandaids are either. Just isnt happening. So shower gels work great on my skin. Doesnt dry it out either and smells better.

Now for the all mighty armpits. Such a delicate topic huh? Its not like I want to just let it grow and braid it all up nice and pretty. Get a life. Not my style. So now I think back to my sister. I honestly do not know if she used Nair there or not. I sure as hell hope not and Im not about to try it either. Thats all I need is for my pits to burn like fire. Nope. Not a chance. Ive thought about waxing. I just havent found the courage to attempt that yet. Im brave but not crazy. Or is that Im crazy but not stupid... Hmmm... Either way works for me.

Now somewhere along the ages they created a tool called the EpiLady. I was dumb enough to actually get one of these nifty little time savers. It was electric and it had the coil that looped up and around the top a couple of times. Id post a picture but Im sure you boyz out there would faint at the sight of it. I dont want to clean up any messes in here so I wont take the effort of showing you what one looks like. If you want to know then head on over to google. Im sure they are easy to find. I will warn you that its scary shit to look at.

So dummy me tries it to see what it does. I'll tell you what it does... It literally rips the hair out. Those coils vibrate when turned on and its not the good kind of vibrate either. You run it slowly up and down your skin like any other electric shaver. But as you do this, it snags the tiny hairs in its coiled blades and yanks it from your body. Can you imagine that on your armpits? Son of a B**** does this hurt. Why would they market this? Im sure that who ever created this idea was an S&M Master. That went right into the trash. Im sure the trashman got his jollies later.

Now they have something called EpilStop. Its a roll on cream that smells like cucumber melon and its supposed to be gental on your skin. So gental that you can even use it on your lip and chin. Yes boyz, there are some chicks out there that have very fine hairs there too. Its natural. Well let me tell you that this crap is just as useless as Nair. Except that when you wash it off, your skin swells up and turns red. Yep, thats how I want to spend my Saturday night. Sitting on my bed with an ice pack on my face. Scratch this idea too. Not going to work for me.

Waxing legs is one thing but have you ever tried to wax your face? What a shot through hell that is. And to think that they make bleaching creams for this area. Sorry but its bad enough to have something there that I dont want to have dye it white for it to show more. Stupid idea. So they make this stuff called VEET. I recommend this product. You can get it for body hair too. For legs and pits, you apply the cream, let it set and then use a fake razor to take the cream off. Easy, painless and lasts a long time. Smells good too. But you cant use it on your face.

So VEET makes a product called waxing strips. They are little prepasted waxed paper strips that you dont have to heat or do anything to them before hand. You just peel them apart and apply the strip to where you want it and then rip it off like a bandaid. Hurts like ripping off a bandaid too. But once again, it only smarts for a few seconds. Hair is gone and no mess.

Now Im wondering how this works for bikini waxing. OMG can you imagine those that have tried to use Nair there? *faint*