Friday, March 30, 2007

Nightmares really do come true...

As most of you can remember my topless nightmares, it all came true on Friday. I was dreading this all year. Every year, at this time, the Superintendent has a day that the kids get off but the staff must report to some training session that will be of value to them. Bah!! I want to spend the day in bed. No such luck though.

But anywho, this year it was a choice session. There were about a hundred different classes that we could have taken. You get two choices. Just in case your first choice fills up. Each choice comes in a two session package. There is also a public speaker on the stage as well. I will get to him in a moment.

So my first choice was Obesity in Children and Diabeties. That was coupled with Mental Health in Children. Perfect choice for me considering my job. My second choice was Study Skills for Kids and that was coupled with PBIS (Positive Behavior Intervention and Supports). Which also goes with my job. Well, I got my second choice as the first one filled up too fast. Its ok, I can deal with it. I will just go through the notes of the ones that were able to get into it.

But here is my nightmare. All of this is happening at the High School. I can find my way to the auditorium but thats about all. I dont even know where the main office is. Or any of the rooms where my classes are being held are. Now comes the panic. I know I will get lost trying to find my way around. Just like in my nightmares. I also have to be there at 7am to get a good parking spot. Just think of about 2000 employees fighting for about 100 parking spots. Entertainment to be had there.

So I arrived at about 7:15 and there were only about 30 cars in the lot. Joy. Seriously. Im happy for this. So I stand outside for some fresh air before I take the plunge. Im nervous as all hell though. I really honestly dont know why. Its not like this is a major deal. There are plenty of people that know their way around this place. I can simply ask someone. Why am I in a panic?

I go inside and head to the auditorium. Thats where Im supposed to be at 8:30 anyway. May as well stick close to the target. You know, just in case. I have my bottle of Pepsi. Not diet. They said that there will be no lunch breaks so that means, bring snacks. I have 3 strawberry Go Tarts with me. Oh my gawd, have you had them? If not you should try them. Much better than the original. And the chocolate ones are even better. Ok, now where was I? Oh yeah, Im standing in front of the auditorium. I dont see anyone I know yet. More panic. Damnit...I wish it would stop. So I go to the information desk to see if I need to sign in. She says no and that I sign in when I show up to the classes. Well thats going to help me because I dont know where the classes are. I wanted to shout that but I held my cool. But oh lookeeeee whats on the desk!!! A map of the school!!!! Whoooohooo!!! Im feeling better now.

Not completely better because now Im alone still. I hate being in a strange place alone. I will do it if I have to but I would rather have someone to talk to. Oh shut up. I like to have someone to talk to. Its something I enjoy. Especially when Im nervous. Ha. Nervous. I wish it would go the hell away. The lady at the desk tells me that I can go into the cafe to get some coffee and breakfast and relax til I need to go to the classes. Ok, where is the cafe? She points to the doors to my left. Ahhhhh... caferteria. Eh.. Same thing. I thanked her and went in. But coffee is not on my list.

I grabbed a yogart and a banana and found a table to sit at. I set my clipboard down and began my plan of attack. Yep, mapping out my classes and how to get to them. Im foiling my nightmare's evil plans already. I finished my yogart and then I hear my name being called. Damn the voices followed me here. Dont they know enough to leave me alone. Ha ha. Trust me, I really dont hear voices. I do but not in my head. Oh forget about it. Anyways, I looked around and saw a couple of people that I worked with sitting at another table. They werent there just a second ago. Believe me, I looked.

So I packed up my stuff and moved to where they were sitting. They asked me what classes I was going to be taking and I told them. One of them was taking the one I wanted so shes going to gather notes for me. Soon three more show up and sit with us. We all chatted about various things and then it was time to go back to the auditorium. We all packed up and walked in together. We chose a seat down front. We have to be in here from 8:30 to 10am. Motivational speaker. Im tired and figured it would be a good time to doze off. Im in the middle of all of them so someone will have to wake me when its time to leave. He he he.

Not to be. The guy was hysterical. I really enjoyed his show. It was about taking accountability for your own life and your own actions. Check him out if you get a chance. He was very entertaining. His on line video was boring though. In real life he was bouncing on the stage. Then again, he may have drank the coffee. Which was therefore made with the water here. That alone will do that to ya. Good thing I dont drink it huh?

We had a good time at the assembly and then it was off to the first class. Now the panic arises again. I have no idea why because I know where I have to go. Simply leave the auditorium and take a right and go all the way to the end of the hall. Thats where it should be. AB13. Three of the ladies I was with had to go to AB9. How convienient. So we all head off together. We made a right so that I could walk with them to see a friend at one of the offices there. We visited for a couple of minutes and then went to the classes. I left them at theirs and went around the corner to mine. I walked in and saw that it was a small group there. Not to bad.

That class was interesting and I learned alot. We chatted and played a game. The instructor also made sure that we all got a binder with notes already done and set up. Cool beans. That was easy. Now off to the second class. Thats in D9. Back behind the other side of the auditorium. Well here comes the fun part. I couldnt find it. Im suck a dork. I walked down one hall and then the next. Im in the D wing. Im in the right area. I found D7 and then D8 and then around the corner was D49. Huh? I looked at my schedule again. D9. Not D49. I looked into the classroom next to it and saw the person that was holding the class. I know her personally. One of the reasons I took this class was for her. I looked on the door. D9. What the hell? Im all sorts of confused now. Not lost. Just confused. But at least its not my fault this time.

We went through the class quite well. We chatted about the issues of PBIS and also about specific kids we have problems with in general and out to address such issues. Yes folks, I do have a brain. He he he. Im a professional by day, total nutcase by night. Enjoy me while you can. The class went smoothly and its now 1:30pm. Not too shabby if you ask me. Also I dont have to go back to my school to finish the 4pm day. We are allowed to go home but we will be paid for the whole time. Nice little bonus there.

One other thing that caught me by surprise. When we were leaving the auditorium and heading tot he first class, we ran into our prinicpal. She asked about how the speaker was and we told her that she would enjoy it. She patted me on the back and said that she hoped so. Later as I was heading down the hall to leave, I ran into her again and she coraled me up and said that she too enjoyed. She was also there talking to some other people that were wearing suits. Ok, you dont wear suit on your day off. So these must be big deal people. I put on my brightest smile and my firm handshake when we were introduced. Turns out that these were principals to other schools but still its a big deal for me. I may end up working for them in the future. Who knows.

But what struck me the most was that she put her arm around my shoulders and also introduced me as one of her best employess and also the most patient in the special ed department. Boy was I proud of myself then. Seriously. This women scares me and yet shes proud of me for a job well done. And made it public news. Almost made me think, is she buttering me up so that they may request me for next year so that she can get rid of me? Nah... But it can happen. I like the school Im in but its in a bad neighborhood. I wouldnt mind transfering myself and my daughter to a better neighborhood school. Anywho, I still felt pretty darn good after that. I left them with a smile and a thank you to my boss. I said it was nice to meet you to the others and off I went.

I saw the speaker sitting at a table selling his book. I got into the line to get one. I liked this guys way of thinking that much. So I get the book, he signed it and I headed to the doors. I ran into a few people from other schools that I have worked at and also the one Im currently in. Said my hellos and whats ups and carried on towards the main doors. Once I was outside, I sighed a sigh of relief that the day was over. All my anexiety was lifted and I was finally free of my nightmares.

Oh and I was still wearing my shirt.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Bert and Ernie

This was an email sent to me from my aunt. I thought it was hysterical and I just had to share it.

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet
syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story
below will have you laughing out loud!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in
his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad.
Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him
into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his
back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want
them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she
inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my
most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she
informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I
shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're
about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of
tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a
tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it
next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried
several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they
could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the
females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with
my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can
be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one
thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little
animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I
speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In
fact, that isn't EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see,
Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity,
like most male species, they um . . . um . . . masturbate. Just the
way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . . just . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And
giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the
woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just . . .that . . I'm
picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little . .." She
gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled
the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was
going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Smells like....

Smells like....

No its not Teen Spirit.

It smells like a clean doggie in my house now. Mindy finally had a bath today. Her stitches came out 3 days ago but her appointment wasnt until Saturday morning. I know its now 1am on Sunday morning but bear with me here. I never show a good sense of time.

But where her incision is, it was a bit dirty and I tried to keep it clean. When she first came home, it was pretty messy from laying on the concrete floor. So every day I wiped it clean for her. Shes such a sweetie though. And very active. That dog have more energy than any 5 year old I know. I should bottle it up and sell it on Ebay. Id make a fortune. Hey!!! Thats my idea. Dont go scamming my stuff.

Shes been such an amazing addition to this family. She sleeps with Cami at night and watches cartoons all day. She also hangs out in Cami's room to have tea parties and play with Barbie. And she doesnt have any interest in eating her head off. Thats one thing Barbie cant do. Grow a new head. Hmmmmm that gives me a few ideas. Nah. I wouldnt hurt Barbie. Id never hear the end of it from Cami if I did.

Well after her stitches came out, she zoomed all through the house as if to say Look at me!! How can we not? You are about to break everything in your path. The poor fish was bobbing in her tank. Yeah its a her because Cami said so. Dont ask. You would never understand her logic unless you live with her. Its a scary thing.

So now that her stitches are out, she can go pee in the back yard. I didnt want her to before because of the deep snow. See? Im a good mommy. Shes been doing relaly good about doing her business. When she goes out back now she doesnt need to be on a leash. I worry about that because the fence on one side is really in bad need of replacing. Not repair. Its too far gone for that.

But here is the funny part. If I open the door, she wont go down unless you come with her. And when I open the downstairs door to the yard she stands on the step waiting for you to come with her outside. Shes a big wuss. But it doesnt bother me. Id rather be there to watch over her because I dont want her to slip under the fence.

So she does her ladylike squat and then has to sniff everything. Yes, Mindy, its yours. You did that one. There is another female dog that uses the yard. I dread the day they end up out there together. I relaly dont like the other dog because she tends to be a little on the mean side. I would never hurt a dog unless it hurt me first. And hurting my dog will hurt me.

So anywho, she sniffs and sniffs and sniffs and then finds a spot. She goes in circles. I get dizzy. Then she decides to sniff for another spot. She goes in circles again. Geez Mindy..Just go. Round and round she goes. And wouldnt you know it? Not the right spot again. So she goes back to the first spot and circles again. Ok its like -4F out here. Just go!!! She immediately holds her stance and drops the bombs.

Then she looks at me for approval. *rollseyes* Is this something that the cat taught you to do? I cant do anything without that cat around. Now I have to be there for the dog to do something too? I tell her to move her rear up the stairs and off she goes. I lock the door and head up behind her. She then goes right for the place where I keep the cookies. Ok so she was a good girl. But I have to give her a cookie for making me dizzy? Ok. Shes a good girl.

Well she got a few toys when she first came home to live with us. One is a squeaky ball that drives me crazy. The other is a squeaky burger. But her absolute favorite is a stuffed pig that has a little box inside that when you press on it, it oinks. She ripped that thing apart. I came home from work to find the little box had been ripped out and she pulled all the stuffing out of the pig. Typical dog.

Now two weeks later, you cant even tell that its a pig anymore. Just a piece of furry cloth. But she loves that box that made the noise. I have it hidden because I dont want her to swallow it. But if you tell her to get her piggy, she comes running back with that drooly looking piece of cloth. Time for a new piggy I guess.

Well today (Saturday) she had her appointment at the groomer. She was dropped off at 9am and picked up at 1230pm. She was sooooo excited and just your average happy dog. They said that she was fun to work with because she loved having a bath. Im not sure I believed them but they were all cuddly with her.

Because she was so good getting a bath, she gets to pick out a new toy from the toy aisle at Petsmart. This is like telling a child to pick one toy from Toys R Us. Impossible to do. Fun to watch. Well she sniffs up and down the aisle and noses in some of the bins. You will never guess what she came home with. Yep. A new piggy.

But shes such a happy puppy. How can I deny her?

Thursday, March 01, 2007


Current mood: sad

I would like to make this post a dedication to someone I loved dearly. My Aunt Katherine. We called her Chub. I had always heard about her while growing up but she didnt live in the area so I never got to meet her. She fascinated me though. Her nature was wonderful.

I first met her at my grandma's funeral. She knew all about me. I loved this woman on instant meeting. She captured my heart. What was really the fun part of my first conversation with her was that she always had something to do with the number 9.

She was born in 1919 and she said that those with a number nine at the end of their birth year were special people. I was born in 1969 and my daughter was born in 1999. We both took an attachment to her and she was a big part of our lives. I will miss her letters and cards and her almost daily emails. She would talk to me for hours and tell me all the family goodies. She told stories of the past that made my socks curl.

We exchanged pictures and stories about the kids and her grand kids. She told me stories about my grandma and my father while they were growing up. Told stories of the war and the depression.

I truely loved this woman. I will miss her deeply. She was a big part of my heart. I loved my grandma deeply as well. She left me in the early 90s. Aunt Katherine was just like her in the way she cared for me. I cherished that.

I will miss you.



Im bored so I think I will make a post of the week in review. I dont remember too much of it. Blame it on severe lack of sleep.

Monday I woke up thinking that I have a dog again. Well I dont have to tink it, I live it. Yes I do have a dog again and I have to dog proof my apartment. I miss those days. So at 6:15 am, yeah a whole hour earlier, I woke up and started my day. Im groggy as hell. Ive lost an hour of sleep.

Out in the cold I go to walk the baby because she needs to pee. I forgot all about doing that. Its been so many years. Holly would simply go out back and come back in on her own. This one I cant do that with yet because my landlord hasnt fixed the fence in four years. Yeah he promised to replace the whole one side but hasnt done it yet. Well he needs to now because this is getting to be a major pain in the ass.

I was up all night in a panic about this day. Im not sure of how she will be when left alone. This is the first day for me to do this. I have to go to work. Bah!! Well after all is said and done, I get to work and Im still in a panic. I told my boss that at my lunch time, I need to go home to let the pooch out. She said fine and she is also excited about the new dog. She even suggested to bring her in for a visit. Are you kidding me?

I rushed home to see what damage was done. I was expecting to be missing some items and at least one curtain down but it was quiet. Too quiet. When I came home to Holly, you could hear her whining that she was so happy to see me. But this time I heard silence. Ok, who ate my dog?

I walked in the door and up the stairs. Opened the apartment door and still silence. I looked into my livingroom and there was Mindy all tucked in on the couch watching Blues Clues. I shit you none. Shes laying there without a care in the world watching kids cartoons. Yep, we now know who will be taking over this house.

She went out and peed and came back in. Jumped up on the couch and pretty much told me to leave now. Shes busy. Ok. I left her a treat for being good and went back to work. Im no longer in a panic. Im frightened. This cant be real. Holly used to do the same thing. But at least she was happy to see me at the door.

Also I was in a panic because Im a worry wart. I was pacing about Jade. I love this girl and she has suffered for too long. She was havng surgery and I worry over the littlest things. I talked to her mom and he was doing great.

Tuesday came and I wasnt able to get home for lunch. Yep, busy day at school. But when I got home, the same thing happened. Any other time though, she is all over me. Mindy is free with the kisses and Im only too happy to give in to her. Shes a wonderful dog. I do have to break her of jumping up to be hugged. Not that it is a bad thing to me but to others, they might not like it.

On this note, Jade is home from the hospital and shocked me with how fast she is recovering. Lovieeeees you Jade.

Wed was a blur so I have nothing really have nothing to post about it. Ive been sleeping less and less and discovered that I have a cold again. Im up coughing all night. Oh, one thing did happen last night. At 2am I got up to go to the bathroom and my cat followed me. She got as far as the gate and Mindy went through it. Broke the whole bottom. Cheap wooden stretch gate that it was. Yeah, Im still keeping the two furry friends apart for now til Mindy can realize that shes going to get her ass kicked if she chases the cat. Not by me, but by the cat. So I had to keep my door closed all night and I really hate doing that. The place is so friggin hot at night because my neighbors downstairs control the thermostat. Im about to break the damn thing and make them eat it.

So here we are at today. What an interesting day this was. I woke up to total blindness. Well not total but I could see a little bit through the crusty crap that sealed my eyelids shut. My left eye is completely closed. Its swollen and sore as hell. My face hurt from my jaw to my forhead. But only on the left side. My right eye was sore but a cool cloth took care of that. Im thinking full blown sinus infection here.

So after my shower and allowing the water to clean out my eyeballs, I looked in the mirror and was scared shitless. My left eye is swollen on the lower lid near the tear duct. Wonderful. I iced it and the swelling didnt go down. I wear contacts so this pretty much sucks. I took the one out and cleaned my eye out with eye wash.

Off to school I go. Its a scheduled half day today and I really dont want to be there to begin with. Im not feeling all that great. But since I have been sick since Dec, Im getting used to this.

I totally forgot about the assembly for the second grade classes today. Damnit. I forgot my camera and the video camera. Cami's class did a lesson on the life cycle of butterflies and they raised their own. I was there for the releasing. I took pictures and it was a great time. The classes did a huge presentation about it and the kids all had a blast. The music teacher wrote a song especially for them to sing in the video when they were showing the releasing. I borrowed my teachers camera but half way through the show, one of my kids had to use the bathroom so I did miss a little.

I talked to the science director who set the presentation up and he said they I would be able to get a copy of the video. Whew. But its on the local PBS station here and I cant find the time slot. I will have to get that info from him tomorrow. Or at least email him. Its supposed to be aired on Sunday.

After the dismissal of the kids, I was ready to crash and burn. My eye was hurting and my face was sore as hell. I wanted to go home and pack my eyes. During dismissal though, one of my kids ran into Cami in the gym. Literally ran into her. The impact knocked her glasses off and the lens popped out. So a trip to Lens Crafters was in need. I rolled home about 3pm after hanging out at the mall with my father. I took a nap but it was short lived because it was so cold in my room.

I also got a call from Christy about her flight to Boston. This poor girl is so afraid to fly but its the only way for her to see Jose. She has the worst luck on planes. Her very first flight ever was delayed for about 6 hours. The rest were really messed up as well. Once they didnt have the connecting flight and when they found one, there was no pilot. This time the connecting flight was struck by lightning before boarding so they had to find another flight. Remind me not to fly with her.

Its now 9:30pm and Im tired but I want to stay up to chat with some friends. Im hoping that there wont be any school tomorrow because there is yet another blast about to hit us. The last one landed us about 3 feet of snow. We had two snow days in a row. Not too shabby there. The only thing that will suck about having a snow day tomorrow is that I wont get paid til Monday.