Monday, May 02, 2011

Ego Damage Part 3...

The next morning I had to be up and on the road at 630am. Like this was going to happen willingly. I remember seeing the clock show 4am. I had to be up at 5am to shower and get ready. I can hear the rumbles of thunder outside and thought to myself that this was not going to be a good day. I have no idea what transpired outside after I got home and I really didnt want to know. I just know that it sounded pretty bad.

The alarm went off and I really wasnt ready to move forward with the day. I was so tired. My head hurt. I hate waking up with a headache. Especially the one I went to bed with. I briefly turned the tv on for a weather report and it was the same crap. More rain and storms. Apparently Mother Nature isnt listening too well. I think we have all had enough of this.

Bill decided that there was no way I was in any condition to drive out there again and had offered to take us. I wasnt going to refuse. Besides, its not like he would be around people he wouldnt be confortable with. My relatives are all hunters and fishers. Country people too. We are all friendly people. How bad could it be? Seriously.

So the morning began and off we went. We stopped at McDs to get some coffee and I was ready to face the world. Even with a headache. We picked up my father and hit the thruway. He will drive on it. Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep int he back seat with Cami. She was watching a movie on her little portable DVD player and I never got half way through it. I woke up when we pulled into a rest area about an hour later. Im wondering if I was snoring or not. Probably. I really was in a deep sleep because I dont remember anything up to that point. I went in and got my father a coffee and Bill got some Munchkins for Cami to snack on. Back on the road. The weather was fairly clear and it was warm. The sun was shining. I was hoping it would stay that way.

We arrived on time to the funeral home. There were already a few people there. As soon as I walked in, I was greeted by David with a card with his email address on it. He asked for mine and I wrote it down. This was a great feeling because now I know we wont lose touch again. My cousin Larry showed up right behind us and he too was passing around his little Ipod and everyone was putting their info on it so that he could create a list for everyone else.

We all chatted and enjoyed the company. The girls went off again to play their games and watch the movie. It was so great they were getting along. What was a sad situation was turning out to be more pleasant to deal with. We all had each other the way a family should. We all leaned to each other and too shelter in that. I went outside for air a few times. Funeral homes always make be generally uncomfortable. Not for the death but just in general. They arent supposed to be happy places.

On the way back in, I ran into another cousin that I hadnt seen in a few years. On the way in, we both went to the ladies room and chatted. Yeah, some people think its weird but thats what females do. We hang out in rest rooms chatting. We can do that. So we had a nice conversation about my father's cancer and just how were both were in general.

At about 11am, it was time to gather up and head to the cemetery. We all joined in a small service with prayer and said our final good bye. Then we waited outside for the hearse and began the last journey. At the cemetery we all gathered and began the ceremony. At this time I noticed the sky was getting dark and the wind was picking up. There were no seats and no overhead covering. The two girls cuddled up to me. I stayed to the back of the crowd. Not just because of the whole service, but because if the storm came up, I needed to be able to make a run for it fast.

I think the minister figured that something was coming and moved the service along. Soon we were back in our cars and headed to the hotel where they had a luncheon set up for the family. The restaurant was called Moose River. Seemed fitting for the crowd it was about to recieve.

One of the things my cousins and I chatted about was playing hide and seek in my grandmas house. Upstairs in one of the bedrooms was another little hidden room. It wasnt such as hidden that you didnt know it was there. Just wasnt used anymore and the door was painted to match the walls. This was once my great grandmas bedroom. Not its just a room with an old bed and storage stuff. My grandma didnt like all the stuff my uncles had hanging around the house. Especially the trophies of their hunts. I never knew where they all went. But I was soon about to find out. I decided that the room would be a great place to hide. I opened the door, snuck in and closed it. Since I hate the dark, I hit the light switch and was greeted by about 20 pairs of eyes staring at me. Eyes that had heads but no bodies. And horns. Big horns, little horns. I was scared out of my mind. I also remember not being able to move except for the screams that came out of my mouth. I lost at hide and seek that day for sure. I never went into that room again. That also went for the dining room with the lynx rug that was laid out on the table. With the head raised up and those eyes staring at me.

Now we sit in this restaurant that has the walls covered in hunting and fishing things. I should also add a couple of heads on the walls. Moose. Not that its any different than other restaurants I have been to that have the same stuff. It was just the company I was with and the giggles from my cousins when they reminded me of the past. We had the laughs about it and then moved on to lunch. But it was in the back of my mind that these heads are now watching me eat. Guess those meatballs werent going to be as good as I thought they would be.

While lunch was going on and we all chatted and visited, there were three tvs on around the room. On the tvs were various news channels reporting on the weather from the day before. I learned that about 45 minutes away from where we were, there were tornadoes. Yes, that storm that followed me home the night before contained tornadoes. They reported that in Syracuse, there were 260 cloud to ground lightning strikes in 10 minutes. Holy cow. There was a lot of damage. Trees down and houses torn apart. And guess what? It was happening again. More serious storms were coming. We decided that it was time to head for home. We all hugged, cried and promised to stay together no matter what. Soon we were on the road home.

Later that night, I was watching the news on line and tracking the storms on various weather sites. Those were more nasty storms and causing more damage. And yes, more tornadoes. The next morning I checked the sites for storm reports and that area was hit again. This time closer to me from Utica. Herkimer county reported tornado damage. Binghamton also reported tornadoes. This was insane. Im glad that I was able to make it home in one piece. Of course the storms did hit here but werent as strong. North of here got the worst part of it.

Good thing I live in a house of bricks and no longer in the house of sticks.

Game Over...

Game Over...

I spent the great part of last night with a pair of head phones on listening to every broadcast about bin Laden. I watched the Presidents speech on line. I was still in a bit of shock about the news and really wasnt sure it was real. I was waiting for someone to come on and announce that the DNA didnt match or something. It was too easy. The battle wasnt easy though and was almost foiled. But the mission was complete and all forms of DNA were settled as 100% accurate and that it was him.

My fears now are more attacks for revenge or attacks done in his honor. How weird is it when a world just cant find some sort of peace? There is always a whack-job waiting around the corner that just isnt happy enough with what he has. If its not bin Laden, then it will be someone else. My thoughts, prayers and deepest sympathies go out to all those families that were affected by what has happened. Some are accepting this justice and some are not. Some already accepted what happened and have tried to move on. Now they relive the horrors. This wont go away any time soon, if at all.

It just seems that history keeps repeating itself over and over. I wont get into the religion of it all. I wont get into the politics of it all. I just think that its mindless and childish. There are more people out there that will suffer for this. Some that remain hidden because of who that man was. One of his sons was trying to turn the tables on what was going on and to get the people to listen that he wasnt one of his fathers minions. His life will be forever in a hell that no one wants to live in.

I watched the news last night seeing all the people at the Whitehouse and in NYC cheering in the streets. What were they really cheering for? I was thinking about it last night and all day today. A lot of those people out there were very young. Some were just children when 9/11 happened. These people have never known a life without a war going on. I looked at my daughter today and saw that same thing. Then I thought to myself, have I ever lived without a war going on somewhere? This is what I mean about history repeating itself. There is always someone out there that doesnt like someone else. But these people cant seem to get past it and move on. You live your life and I will live mine. Im not breathing down your back trying to make you believe in what I believe in. Why are you doing that to me?

Once again, Im not going to get deeper into that topic because its just not worth any arguments. Im just glad that this particular nightmare is over.

But the worst could be coming.