Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Path Less Traveled.....

The Path Less Traveled.....

I know I havent written anything in a long time. Its been a very difficult road for me this past summer. Ive come to that fork in the road way too many times. Let me see how I can put this all together and catch up on the many events. Over the summer, and the past year, I have lost so many relatives and friends. At one point there were two funerals in one week. Some from old age, some from cancer, one from a terrible accident and another from a suicide.

We have dealt with some minor earthquakes and even a hurricane. The hurricane left a lot of damage here. Her path went right through here and there are some nearby towns that were completely wiped out. Not just a few houses. I mean the entire town is gone. There are some areas in my city where the water rose to over 10 feet. for many homes here, that means the entire first floor was under water. The cleanup is still going on.

I still have my job. Its a lot different this year. A completely new set of kids and a completely new way of doing things. These new kids are a lot of fun and they are so darn cute. But they are more of a challenge for us all. We are getting through it though. I will say that the give us one hell of a workout everyday.

Having some serious issues with my father. Over the summer, he completed a round of radiation for his cancer and dealt with it with some difficulty. But he made it through and as far as I know, the tumor stopped growing and he was okay for a while. Then he suffered some severe pain. They discovered a fracture and a compressed disk in his back. We are still not sure what caused it but they think it was a weakening of the spine due to the radiation. He cant lay down flat for any scans to see if the cancer might have spread though. They arent ruling that out.

The pain meds have completely cut off his outside life. He cant drive, walk or even operate a scooter to get around. He can walk for a shot period. Nothing more than from the bedroom to the bathroom or to move around the kitchen. Hes constantly complaining about it. Sometimes he will just stand and lean on something for a while because he cant sit. The pain meds that he is on dont seem to help so the doctors keep changing them. At one point, he was on morphine. That caused other problems so he was taken off them. Although it did work better.

We had a huge set back last week. He decided he was fed up with the pain and took more than he was supposed to take of the pain meds. He was rushed to the ER and we almost lost him a couple of times. As it stands, he may not make it home. There is a big meeting coming up and decisions have to be made regarding his future. We are looking into a nursing home now. I cant trust him to be home on his own while I am at work and I cant be there all night with him. I am not sure how I will be able to afford this. The stress is killing me. Somehow something good has to come of it all. I believe in Karma. Ive done everything right. Something has to give sometime. I can only hope it is soon.