The key to holiday survival.....

The key to holiday survival...... Dont ask me what it is. I thought you would know and be able to tell me.

It is now almost 11pm on the day after Christmas. I think I have finally been given the grace to sit and relax. All day today I have played board games, tried to figure out DVD games and watched a Barbie movie at least 6 times.

Did you know that the Barbie doll of the 12 Dancing Princesses has to have two AA batteries installed one in each leg? What a pain in the ass that was getting the screws out. Then getting them back in only to find out that there is a button on the back of one leg that makes the skirt spin. Reminder that I shouldnt be putting in the batteries while accidently pressing the button at the same time. Stupid skirt slapped me in the face.

I would like to ask one simple question though. Who the hell in their right mind puts these boxes together? I mean, what kind of moron does all the twisty ties and tape and string and those little plastic tab things that hold the dolls head to the box. Is there some kind of IQ to qualify to have that job? If there is then I want them all fired. Holy Moly!!! I think I busted a few knuckles trying to get her dolls out of the packages.

I also had to install a padlock on the pantry door today. Someone, yes I mean someone, decided to have a midnight snack. She opened the lid of a new frosting can and didnt even bother to remove the foil. She just poked her whole hand through and ate half a can of chocolate frosting. No wonder it was 3am and her tv was on.

This is also the same child that drank 4 cups of orange juice while I was in the shower this morning. I would really hate to be her during the next couple of days worth of potty breaks. All that acid in orange juice cant be pretty.

I was going to go to the mall today just to walk. I have this thing that I love to walk but my neighborhood isnt exactly the safest place to do so with a 7 year old. So we go to the mall to do it. Yeah I deal with the begging and the pleading for me to buy something but she knows that she doesnt get anything if she begs. Does it stop her? Nope. But I never made it to the mall because of the rain.

Yeah no snow this Christmas. In fact, no snow for here at all so far. I will jinx it and we get slammed. If it does snow and we have to dig ourselves out, make it for next week so we get more time off. I need the extra vacation. Also tomorrow I have to call one of the offices to get a new ID badge done. I really dont have to but my old one still has the name of the school that I used to work at on it.

Also Ive been coughing up some really nasty stuff out of my lungs. Ive been so sick with fevers and a cough for over a week now. Strange thing about is that for the first few days, I had a high fever. Then came the pain in the mid back which told me that my lungs were filling up. Not a good sign.

I was taking meds for it but nothing seemed to help. My upper sinus chambers above my eyes were where the pain was. Nothing plugged. Nothing congested there either. But when I coughed, my head hurt. No Im not an alien. Its true. Weird huh?

Last Wed morning, Cami threw up a few times so I knew I wasnt going to school. I felt like crap myself so it was a blessing. But when I went to get a drink, it went into my mouth and right back out again. Wonderful.

I spent the greater part of the weekend bending over on the kitchen floor hacking up my lungs. It was pretty nasty but at least it was coming out. Solid. Yeah, solid stuff coming from my lungs. Not the slimy stuff but solid stuff. Seems that my inhaler does work for this.

Well Ive lost my voice now and the coughing isnt as bad. But now comes the sinus draining. Wait, it wasnt there before.

Oh and my nose is numb. Yeah tingly numb. You know like when your foot falls asleep. Nothing like a pins and needles feeling in your face.

So tomorrow Im definately going to the mall. I need to get out of here for a while. I need the entertainment of watching people in those long lines trying to return stuff. Im sure I will have something amusing to post about that.

The most precious angel of all....

Friday, December 22, 2006

The most precious angel of all. This is so heart wrenching. I knew nothing about this whole thing until about 3 days ago. On Oct 4th the kids at school got the chance to make a wish. I didnt know about this because the kids were all told that if they told their wishes, they wouldnt come true. Smart move on their part huh? Well there were kids getting new bikes and all sorts of toys. A couple even got new beds. Then they called up Cami. I was almost dreading what she would have wished for. Probably something expensive. I was wrong. Oh so wrong. When they announced her wish, I nearly hit the floor. Her wish was for me to have help with the bills and groceries. She gave up a wish for herself so that I could be happy. I cant believe that she was so unselfish. I cried all afternoon and Im still crying right now. Tonight I went out and did some shopping for her for Christmas. I made sure she receieved everything on her list. She earned it. I wish to thank my precious little girl for all that she did. She has such a huge heart. I love you Cami.

Tis the Season....

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Tis the Season... Well here we go with another weird weather season in NY. Its warm one day and freezing the next. Never fails. For the past few days, Cami has been coughing. Just one more week til we have a whole week off. Come on kid, you can hold off. Yesterday morning she was coughing something wicked though. We had to go to school becuase, well, I have to be there too and there is no one here to babysit her. So I gave her the meds and off we went. All day yesterday I felt achy. I mean pain. My back hurt right where the bottom of my lungs are. Nothing in my head yet though. Oh shut up. I know the comments coming for that line. LOL By about 10pm last night, Cami puked in bed twice and I was feeling like a truck hit me in the ribs. Im sorry but Im to school tomorrow and neither is she. Those that know me well know that when I complain of pain or being sick, Im serious. This morning I wake up about 3am and Im still wearing the sweats I had on last night. Thats very odd because I hate wearing clothes to bed. No I dont sleep nekked. I wear a tshirt at least. Thing is, last night I was freezing and not sweating. Another sign that something isnt right. The alarm went off at 6:30 and I hit the snooze. I cant call in til after 8. Ten minutes later the alarm goes off again. I hit the snooze again. This went on til about 20 minutes after 8. Yes I was that lazy that I wasnt going to reset my alarm. So every time it went off I would hit the snooze and roll to the opposite side. Back and forth. My body is killing me. My head is pounding. Cami is coughing and puking again. I called in and its ok. Im sure I will hear about it tomorrow. But right now, I dont care. Why am I even sitting here writing this. I just took a drink of pepsi and my stomach almost hurled. Ok, thats not a good thing. Im going back to bed.

Santa part 2

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Santa part 2.... First I have to let you know what little thing that has nothing to do with the title. I went to my fathers the other night without Cami because she was still fighting with her homework to get it done in time for bed. Yeah she hates it that much. Anywho, my father calls me up and tells me to come over to get some things that he brought home for me. I drive over and mind you that its already dark outside. We all know how much I hate being out in the dark. Yes I am afraid of it but at the same time, I live in the city. Scary stuff here. So I go over and I sit on the sofa watching the news with him. Suddenly the power goes out. Ok, so Im deathly afraid of power outages. But while sitting with someone like my father, its a fear you dont show. I just sit there and stare out the window. Not like I can see anything. He gets up and bitching and complaining that they were supposed to do this a few hours ago. I had no clue what he was talking about but it was something along the lines of a power test in the area. Ummmm ok. Im clueless. I can hear him in the kitchen rummaging through stuff looking for something. I know he has a candle on the stand next to his chair but my luck I would knock something over getting to it and it would result in me getting bruised. I think I will just stay where I am. Safer that way. A few minutes later he snaps a glow stick and proceeds to hang it up from a string in the kitchen doorway leading to the livingroom. So sooner does he reach for the string, the power comes back on. Wouldnt ya know it, I learned some new words. Yep, he was cursing away. He said he knew it was a five minute power lock. Well then why the hell didnt he just sit there like I did for five minutes? Ok. Back to the topic at hand. Santa. The wonderful man that puts candy in our socks every year. To start this one out, the teacher that I work for bought a book the other night. Its a book about Santa. I have read a gazillion of them but this one was more special than the others. Lest just say that by the time she was done reading it to the kids, I had to have this book. So off to the mall I went with Cami and my father. We went to dinner and then to the book store. Sure enough, there it was. All shiny and new. Yes it is shiny because it has a jewel on the front. Seriously. Go check it out. Its an excellent book. I highly recommend it. Buy it for a child in your family or even for yourself. Its the perfect book to read on Christmas Eve. So we get the book and now she wants to go to see Santa. Yep, the mall one. Now mind you that we all know hes not the real one. And we also all know that the mall Santas are different all the time because they have to take shifts. Keep that one in mind now. We are in line about four kids back. Someone is geting really impatient. Yes its me. Not that I really need to get up there to see Santa but its the kid in line behind me. She is literally screaming her head off and its ear piercing. Maybe its just me, but if your kid is afraid of seeing a fat man in a red suit then why the hell are you forcing her to actually have to face him? To me thats traumatizing the poor child. Yeah, lets force her to see the man and then tell her that hes the one that will be stalking through the house on Christmas Eve. Great parenting there folks. Anywho, its our turn and up Cami goes and she has to show him the book. Well this is where its gets amusing. She steps up around the little pole that they have as a decoration and wouldnt you know it, the first words out of his mouth are.... You're back!! HA!!! He remebered her. Mind you that this is a man that has seen her only once before and hes also seen at least a thousand kids in between. Now this is a good Santa. Id hire him. So hes sitting there reading the book and shes showing him special pages from it. You know like the one that has the special garden dome for where the elves grow their food because they very well cant grow anything in the snow. Im amused. The camera lady even comes over to look and then talks to me on the side about where I got it from so she could get one too. This is where it also gets good. Hes sitting there and asks her if she still wants that video fashion thing. This man is good. I cant believe his memory. I need to make sure that I put in a good letter of recommendation for him for next year. Im serious. Usually the mall Santas dont remember this sort of thing with all the kids that they see during the time they work there. Well she agrees that this is all she wants and hes still amazed. Im sure he gets kids there that have a list a mile long. You know, just buy the toy store and leave the keys in the stocking sort of thing. When we finally left, she agreed to go see him at least one more time. Im hoping that it will be the same one. Shes not stupid ya know. She will know. Well now here we are this morning and what do you think she does? She puts a note on my desk before I woke up. Its a list of all the things she wants to go along with that game. Like a new doll, a PS3 and an Xbox 360. Imagine that.

I need BBQ sauce

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I need BBQ sauce. Ok so Im bored. Mind boggling bored. I just made some chicken strips and they are very tasteless right now. I havent eaten much all day. I know that if I didnt have something in my stomach, I would be awake all night. Oh yeah and I was so bored that I attempted to sleep already but thats not happening. Maybe because I did have a 2 hour nap at 6pm. But thats besides the point. My week has been pretty uneventful. Well at least nothing out of the normal. Cami had a Holiday Concert at her school last night but we had to miss it. I brought her to school yesterday morning and she made it through breakfast. Barely. Im standing in the gym with the kids that have already arrived and one of mine comes running in telling me that her mouth exploded. Bless the imagination of a 5 year old boy. Needless to say, I went off in search of her and found her in the girls bathroom. Outside the bathroom in the hall was a nice pile of something I would rather not describe to you. Im sure you pretty much guessed it by now. Yep. Her mouth sure exploded alright. All over the table, the floor and a trail to the bathroom. Mind you that she also didnt sleep last night. When I say that, I mean it. I got up and turned the tv off about 4 times. The last time being about 3am. Well shes fevered and covered. I take her off to the nurse and go back in to tell my co-workers that I need to take her home. Upon the sight of her, they all readily agreed. So while in the nurses office, she received a change of clothes and I looked at her coat. Well doesnt look like shes going to be wearing this home. Im yet to figure out how she managed to get alot of it down her sleeve. Kids are amazing arent they? Lets see, what else happened this week so far. Oh, I finally received the four italian charms that my father ordered for a bracelet. I also received a letter stating that they will be shutting down the web site on the 15th of Jan. Well doesnt that just about suck. I wanted to order some charms with some names on them but guess I cant now. So I either need to find another site that will let me order or my collecting days are done. Today was a really wild day at school. One of my kids was on shut down mode. He was completely out of it all day. I felt sorry for him though. He was having a really hard time connecting with himself. Cami on the other hand was doing very well til about 3:15. She was supposed to do her homework til 4 and then I would take her out. But she pretty much refused to do her writing. So needless to say, they she had some more homework to do at home. She actually passed out tonight about 8. Which is a good thing because she really needed the sleep. Im not about to go through another bad day because she couldnt sleep. Tomorrow night I have a party to go to. My neice Nicole turned 25 today and its a party for her. I think my mom has thrown me two parties in my life. Other than my little kiddie parties. They were spaced apart though. At least the ones I can remember. I remember the ones from when I was 2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 16, 18, 25 and 30. When I was 13, she threw a Smurf party for me. I hated Smurfs then and I cant figure out why she threw a party for me that was filled with them. It was demonic as hell. When I was 16, my mom fell down the stairs and got hurt really bad the day before my birthday. My party was only to be with a couple of my closest friends because of the injuries and her lack of mobility. She jammed her spine up into her neck. So yeah, I can understand the lack of interest there for party time. When I was 18 she had a big party for me at the camp that we had then. I remember that I was really into lions and tigers at the time. She had a cake made with a lion on the top that was a huge lump of frosting. I am not much for sugary frosting but the cake was nice. I remember my friends and family passing around some money and I didnt know why. I later found out that they were making bets to see if I would bite the head off the lion. Well with all the cash in the envelope I would have been stupid not to do it. I mean, was this some kind of sick Ozzy joke? Ok, Im game. I bent over to take the bite and mom mashed my face into the cake. Id say it was worth the $500 I got from it though. My graduation party was pretty interesting though. My mom threw it at the camp again. I was 18 on the 5th of June and my graduation party was on the 20th. She got me rip roaring drunk and then showed me my gift. It was a car parked in the woods and covered so that I didnt know it was there. Then she gave me a piniata with the keys inside. Yeah there are pictures of me reaching into the piniata's butt with my hand looking for the keys. Then of all things, she had me drive it out of the woods. Ummm mom.... Im really really drunk and there are alot of trees around. Yeah, my first experience at a DWI. Although I have never gotten caught at it. Damn Im good. When I was 21 I had a party thrown for me from my roommate. I was sick with strep throat and my sister sort of kidnapped me to watch my neices dance recital. In the mean time my roommates set up a huge party at the apartment. All my friends were there and she even baked a cake. I came home, sick as hell, grabbed a glass of milk and told them all to have a great time. I passed out after that. I drank myself stupid the following weekend though. When I was 25 my mom threw a surprise Quarter of a Century party for me. Yeah, by now we have this little game of throwing theme parties to piss each other off. We put alot of work into them though and we get laughing results every time. I think she was making up for the party I threw for her in Feb. She turned 55 and I set up a party theme of the fact that she can live life in the fast lane because she finally reached the speed limit. Im not sure if she was thrilled about it though. But she did have a good time. So she got me back and it was a great party. She even invited my boyfriends parents. For my 30th though, that was extreme hell. During the next week, I was pregnant, thrown into the hospital for a week and also found out that I was losing my job. My mom knew that turning 30 was a very devastating time for me so she decided to throw me a baby shower to cover for it. I wasnt supposed to know about it but my sister leaked out the info to me when I told her that on that day I was going to another baby shower for my friend Kim. Mom wasnt thrilled but I told her that I was already committed to something else. My shower was moved to the 27th instead. My most memorable party that I ever threw was my moms 60th. I had a formal thing set up with a nursing home. Yes it was all a practical joke and Im thankful for all those that were involved for helping me pull it off. I had it set up for her to be sent to a nursing home for her retirement. Complete with tranquilizers and straight jacket. Special padded room with a view too. A view of the other 3 padded walls. I had the letter and information packet mailed to her. Actually I put it in her mailbox and sat in her kitchen while she opened it in front of everyone. Let me tell you, that was the hardest time I have ever had to hold a straight face. My stepdads 65th was pretty amusing too. We lived next door to a police officer that was really close to our family. We had it set up for dad to have to go get icecream and when he was out, we had one of the local cops pull him over for speeding. He was in a 35mph zone when he pulled out of the driveway. The cop said he was doing 65 and he actually got out of his car and argued with the dude. It was a fun time watching that one. Well when he finally settled down for the ticket, the cop handed him his birthday card signed by everyone. It was hysterical. The last real party I pulled on him was for his 69th. Yeah you can just imagine the one I had all set for that one. I couldnt have the old lady stripper come though because there were too many kids that would be there. Damn. I would have loved to catch that one on video. But the nursing home thing came out again except that I did it as a spa sort of thing. Everything was going to cost him 69 dollars for services. Including pictures. Yep. I had a fun time planning that one too. Sadly he passed away when he was 70. This coming Feb will be my moms 68th birthday. No fun until next year for her. This year will also mark Cami for number 8. Ok. I think Im done rambling for tonight. I may have something more for you tomorrow night after the party. My bother is supposed to be there and we dont get along. Fun times to be had. Im sure it will be a memorable moment on his part.

Santa who?

This is funny so bare with me.

I took Cami to the mall today to see Santa. My father went with us and we went to lunch first as usual. While we were eating I saw a friend of mine come walking in. Now mind you that he is in his 60s with white bushy hair, a full white beard and a beer gut. Yeah. Typical friend of mine right? LOL Actually I worked with him at Builders Square. He was one of the installers.

Well I saw him and I had Cami look over at the booth that he and his wife were sitting in and she nearly peed her pants. I dont know if it was excitement or fear. She walked over to him and said hello and he knew what she was there for. He always played Santa at the store. The last time he saw her though, she was a baby.

He told her that he was watching and that he knew that she was being bad. She had that deer in the headlights look and oh crap, I got caught look. I was near bursting to laugh. But I had to hold a straight face. But he offered her a second chance to behave. She smiled and gave him a hug and ran back to our table to tell grandpa.

I talked to Frank for a little while and then I returned to the table. After we finished lunch, we went out into the mall and walked around. Now mind you that we also have a Santa in the mall. Well she was waiting in line and the family in front of us just happened to be her gym teacher from last year. Hes at a different school now though. But she was happy to see him. He was wearing a suit but she asked why he wasnt wearing shorts like he did at school. Ok so that was funny but you had to be there for it.

Now its her turn with Santa. She marched right up to him and put her hand on her hip. She cocked her head to one side and in perfect brat attitude told him that he wasnt the real Santa. The real Santa was eating lunch at the 99. I almost died laughing. I explained it to the camera lady and she whispered it to Santa. Here is how it all went down. Remember to imagine her while reading it. Just for those that dont know her, shes a comedian too. Silly and sarcastic.

Her: You arent the real Santa. Hes having lunch at the 99.
Santa: Oh really.
Her: Yeah so everything I tell you, you have to go tell him.
** I then explained **
Santa: So I see. Well sit on up here and tell me what you want for Christmas so I can tell him.
Her: I want the video fashion game.
Santa: Is that all?
Her: Yep.
Santa: There isnt anything else you want?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Not even a doll?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Nothing at all?
Her: I have alot of toys. Just ask my mom.
Santa: Oh yeah, thats right. Your room is messy.
Her: How did you know?
Santa: The other Santa told me.
Her: You really talk to him?
Santa: Do you thinkI have a choice?
Her: Well yeah. You dont have to work for him.
Santa: Well I have to make sure that he has a break now and then.
Her: Thats true.
Santa: So do you think you were a good girl this year?
Her: Of course, just ask my mom.
Me: *busted out laughing*
Santa: I take that as a no.
Her: But the real Santa gave me another chance.
Santa: But you just said you were good.
Her: You dont have to tell him that part.
Santa: But I dont have to. He knows all.
Her: He does?
Santa: Yes he does.
Her: You mean he actually watches me?
Santa: Yep.
Her: I need to put up darker curtains on my windows then.
Santa: *trying not to laugh* Dont worry. If he gave you a second chance then you are ok.
Her: Whew. I thought I was going to get.... Mom? Whats that stuff again?
Me: A lump of coal.
Her: What ever that is.
Santa: Yeah and you dont want that.
Her: Or snowman poop either. I got that last year.
Santa: *still trying not to laugh* Do you still want a picture?
Her: Sure. Mom?
Me: Yes I will get a picture. *ordered what shot I wanted from the lady*
* click *
Santa: Thank you for coming to visit me.
Her: You're welcome.
Santa: I will make sure he gets the message.
Her: What message?
Santa: What you want for Christmas.
Her: Ohhhhh.
Santa: You stop back and see me again.
Her: Oh I will. Im here at least twice a week.
Santa: Great. I'll see you then.
Her: Ok. Bye. *she gives him a hug and walks up the ramp to see grandpa*
Me: *paid for the pictures* OMG.... *busts out laughing*
Santa: Shes a piece of work.
Camera lady: *laughing* Never a dull moment in your house.
Me: I'll be back in two days.
Both: Ok... Bye.