I need BBQ sauce

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I need BBQ sauce. Ok so Im bored. Mind boggling bored. I just made some chicken strips and they are very tasteless right now. I havent eaten much all day. I know that if I didnt have something in my stomach, I would be awake all night. Oh yeah and I was so bored that I attempted to sleep already but thats not happening. Maybe because I did have a 2 hour nap at 6pm. But thats besides the point. My week has been pretty uneventful. Well at least nothing out of the normal. Cami had a Holiday Concert at her school last night but we had to miss it. I brought her to school yesterday morning and she made it through breakfast. Barely. Im standing in the gym with the kids that have already arrived and one of mine comes running in telling me that her mouth exploded. Bless the imagination of a 5 year old boy. Needless to say, I went off in search of her and found her in the girls bathroom. Outside the bathroom in the hall was a nice pile of something I would rather not describe to you. Im sure you pretty much guessed it by now. Yep. Her mouth sure exploded alright. All over the table, the floor and a trail to the bathroom. Mind you that she also didnt sleep last night. When I say that, I mean it. I got up and turned the tv off about 4 times. The last time being about 3am. Well shes fevered and covered. I take her off to the nurse and go back in to tell my co-workers that I need to take her home. Upon the sight of her, they all readily agreed. So while in the nurses office, she received a change of clothes and I looked at her coat. Well doesnt look like shes going to be wearing this home. Im yet to figure out how she managed to get alot of it down her sleeve. Kids are amazing arent they? Lets see, what else happened this week so far. Oh, I finally received the four italian charms that my father ordered for a bracelet. I also received a letter stating that they will be shutting down the web site on the 15th of Jan. Well doesnt that just about suck. I wanted to order some charms with some names on them but guess I cant now. So I either need to find another site that will let me order or my collecting days are done. Today was a really wild day at school. One of my kids was on shut down mode. He was completely out of it all day. I felt sorry for him though. He was having a really hard time connecting with himself. Cami on the other hand was doing very well til about 3:15. She was supposed to do her homework til 4 and then I would take her out. But she pretty much refused to do her writing. So needless to say, they she had some more homework to do at home. She actually passed out tonight about 8. Which is a good thing because she really needed the sleep. Im not about to go through another bad day because she couldnt sleep. Tomorrow night I have a party to go to. My neice Nicole turned 25 today and its a party for her. I think my mom has thrown me two parties in my life. Other than my little kiddie parties. They were spaced apart though. At least the ones I can remember. I remember the ones from when I was 2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 16, 18, 25 and 30. When I was 13, she threw a Smurf party for me. I hated Smurfs then and I cant figure out why she threw a party for me that was filled with them. It was demonic as hell. When I was 16, my mom fell down the stairs and got hurt really bad the day before my birthday. My party was only to be with a couple of my closest friends because of the injuries and her lack of mobility. She jammed her spine up into her neck. So yeah, I can understand the lack of interest there for party time. When I was 18 she had a big party for me at the camp that we had then. I remember that I was really into lions and tigers at the time. She had a cake made with a lion on the top that was a huge lump of frosting. I am not much for sugary frosting but the cake was nice. I remember my friends and family passing around some money and I didnt know why. I later found out that they were making bets to see if I would bite the head off the lion. Well with all the cash in the envelope I would have been stupid not to do it. I mean, was this some kind of sick Ozzy joke? Ok, Im game. I bent over to take the bite and mom mashed my face into the cake. Id say it was worth the $500 I got from it though. My graduation party was pretty interesting though. My mom threw it at the camp again. I was 18 on the 5th of June and my graduation party was on the 20th. She got me rip roaring drunk and then showed me my gift. It was a car parked in the woods and covered so that I didnt know it was there. Then she gave me a piniata with the keys inside. Yeah there are pictures of me reaching into the piniata's butt with my hand looking for the keys. Then of all things, she had me drive it out of the woods. Ummm mom.... Im really really drunk and there are alot of trees around. Yeah, my first experience at a DWI. Although I have never gotten caught at it. Damn Im good. When I was 21 I had a party thrown for me from my roommate. I was sick with strep throat and my sister sort of kidnapped me to watch my neices dance recital. In the mean time my roommates set up a huge party at the apartment. All my friends were there and she even baked a cake. I came home, sick as hell, grabbed a glass of milk and told them all to have a great time. I passed out after that. I drank myself stupid the following weekend though. When I was 25 my mom threw a surprise Quarter of a Century party for me. Yeah, by now we have this little game of throwing theme parties to piss each other off. We put alot of work into them though and we get laughing results every time. I think she was making up for the party I threw for her in Feb. She turned 55 and I set up a party theme of the fact that she can live life in the fast lane because she finally reached the speed limit. Im not sure if she was thrilled about it though. But she did have a good time. So she got me back and it was a great party. She even invited my boyfriends parents. For my 30th though, that was extreme hell. During the next week, I was pregnant, thrown into the hospital for a week and also found out that I was losing my job. My mom knew that turning 30 was a very devastating time for me so she decided to throw me a baby shower to cover for it. I wasnt supposed to know about it but my sister leaked out the info to me when I told her that on that day I was going to another baby shower for my friend Kim. Mom wasnt thrilled but I told her that I was already committed to something else. My shower was moved to the 27th instead. My most memorable party that I ever threw was my moms 60th. I had a formal thing set up with a nursing home. Yes it was all a practical joke and Im thankful for all those that were involved for helping me pull it off. I had it set up for her to be sent to a nursing home for her retirement. Complete with tranquilizers and straight jacket. Special padded room with a view too. A view of the other 3 padded walls. I had the letter and information packet mailed to her. Actually I put it in her mailbox and sat in her kitchen while she opened it in front of everyone. Let me tell you, that was the hardest time I have ever had to hold a straight face. My stepdads 65th was pretty amusing too. We lived next door to a police officer that was really close to our family. We had it set up for dad to have to go get icecream and when he was out, we had one of the local cops pull him over for speeding. He was in a 35mph zone when he pulled out of the driveway. The cop said he was doing 65 and he actually got out of his car and argued with the dude. It was a fun time watching that one. Well when he finally settled down for the ticket, the cop handed him his birthday card signed by everyone. It was hysterical. The last real party I pulled on him was for his 69th. Yeah you can just imagine the one I had all set for that one. I couldnt have the old lady stripper come though because there were too many kids that would be there. Damn. I would have loved to catch that one on video. But the nursing home thing came out again except that I did it as a spa sort of thing. Everything was going to cost him 69 dollars for services. Including pictures. Yep. I had a fun time planning that one too. Sadly he passed away when he was 70. This coming Feb will be my moms 68th birthday. No fun until next year for her. This year will also mark Cami for number 8. Ok. I think Im done rambling for tonight. I may have something more for you tomorrow night after the party. My bother is supposed to be there and we dont get along. Fun times to be had. Im sure it will be a memorable moment on his part.