Santa who?
This is funny so bare with me.
I took Cami to the mall today to see Santa. My father went with us and we went to lunch first as usual. While we were eating I saw a friend of mine come walking in. Now mind you that he is in his 60s with white bushy hair, a full white beard and a beer gut. Yeah. Typical friend of mine right? LOL Actually I worked with him at Builders Square. He was one of the installers.
Well I saw him and I had Cami look over at the booth that he and his wife were sitting in and she nearly peed her pants. I dont know if it was excitement or fear. She walked over to him and said hello and he knew what she was there for. He always played Santa at the store. The last time he saw her though, she was a baby.
He told her that he was watching and that he knew that she was being bad. She had that deer in the headlights look and oh crap, I got caught look. I was near bursting to laugh. But I had to hold a straight face. But he offered her a second chance to behave. She smiled and gave him a hug and ran back to our table to tell grandpa.
I talked to Frank for a little while and then I returned to the table. After we finished lunch, we went out into the mall and walked around. Now mind you that we also have a Santa in the mall. Well she was waiting in line and the family in front of us just happened to be her gym teacher from last year. Hes at a different school now though. But she was happy to see him. He was wearing a suit but she asked why he wasnt wearing shorts like he did at school. Ok so that was funny but you had to be there for it.
Now its her turn with Santa. She marched right up to him and put her hand on her hip. She cocked her head to one side and in perfect brat attitude told him that he wasnt the real Santa. The real Santa was eating lunch at the 99. I almost died laughing. I explained it to the camera lady and she whispered it to Santa. Here is how it all went down. Remember to imagine her while reading it. Just for those that dont know her, shes a comedian too. Silly and sarcastic.
Her: You arent the real Santa. Hes having lunch at the 99.
Santa: Oh really.
Her: Yeah so everything I tell you, you have to go tell him.
** I then explained **
Santa: So I see. Well sit on up here and tell me what you want for Christmas so I can tell him.
Her: I want the video fashion game.
Santa: Is that all?
Her: Yep.
Santa: There isnt anything else you want?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Not even a doll?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Nothing at all?
Her: I have alot of toys. Just ask my mom.
Santa: Oh yeah, thats right. Your room is messy.
Her: How did you know?
Santa: The other Santa told me.
Her: You really talk to him?
Santa: Do you thinkI have a choice?
Her: Well yeah. You dont have to work for him.
Santa: Well I have to make sure that he has a break now and then.
Her: Thats true.
Santa: So do you think you were a good girl this year?
Her: Of course, just ask my mom.
Me: *busted out laughing*
Santa: I take that as a no.
Her: But the real Santa gave me another chance.
Santa: But you just said you were good.
Her: You dont have to tell him that part.
Santa: But I dont have to. He knows all.
Her: He does?
Santa: Yes he does.
Her: You mean he actually watches me?
Santa: Yep.
Her: I need to put up darker curtains on my windows then.
Santa: *trying not to laugh* Dont worry. If he gave you a second chance then you are ok.
Her: Whew. I thought I was going to get.... Mom? Whats that stuff again?
Me: A lump of coal.
Her: What ever that is.
Santa: Yeah and you dont want that.
Her: Or snowman poop either. I got that last year.
Santa: *still trying not to laugh* Do you still want a picture?
Her: Sure. Mom?
Me: Yes I will get a picture. *ordered what shot I wanted from the lady*
* click *
Santa: Thank you for coming to visit me.
Her: You're welcome.
Santa: I will make sure he gets the message.
Her: What message?
Santa: What you want for Christmas.
Her: Ohhhhh.
Santa: You stop back and see me again.
Her: Oh I will. Im here at least twice a week.
Santa: Great. I'll see you then.
Her: Ok. Bye. *she gives him a hug and walks up the ramp to see grandpa*
Me: *paid for the pictures* OMG.... *busts out laughing*
Santa: Shes a piece of work.
Camera lady: *laughing* Never a dull moment in your house.
Me: I'll be back in two days.
Both: Ok... Bye.
I took Cami to the mall today to see Santa. My father went with us and we went to lunch first as usual. While we were eating I saw a friend of mine come walking in. Now mind you that he is in his 60s with white bushy hair, a full white beard and a beer gut. Yeah. Typical friend of mine right? LOL Actually I worked with him at Builders Square. He was one of the installers.
Well I saw him and I had Cami look over at the booth that he and his wife were sitting in and she nearly peed her pants. I dont know if it was excitement or fear. She walked over to him and said hello and he knew what she was there for. He always played Santa at the store. The last time he saw her though, she was a baby.
He told her that he was watching and that he knew that she was being bad. She had that deer in the headlights look and oh crap, I got caught look. I was near bursting to laugh. But I had to hold a straight face. But he offered her a second chance to behave. She smiled and gave him a hug and ran back to our table to tell grandpa.
I talked to Frank for a little while and then I returned to the table. After we finished lunch, we went out into the mall and walked around. Now mind you that we also have a Santa in the mall. Well she was waiting in line and the family in front of us just happened to be her gym teacher from last year. Hes at a different school now though. But she was happy to see him. He was wearing a suit but she asked why he wasnt wearing shorts like he did at school. Ok so that was funny but you had to be there for it.
Now its her turn with Santa. She marched right up to him and put her hand on her hip. She cocked her head to one side and in perfect brat attitude told him that he wasnt the real Santa. The real Santa was eating lunch at the 99. I almost died laughing. I explained it to the camera lady and she whispered it to Santa. Here is how it all went down. Remember to imagine her while reading it. Just for those that dont know her, shes a comedian too. Silly and sarcastic.
Her: You arent the real Santa. Hes having lunch at the 99.
Santa: Oh really.
Her: Yeah so everything I tell you, you have to go tell him.
** I then explained **
Santa: So I see. Well sit on up here and tell me what you want for Christmas so I can tell him.
Her: I want the video fashion game.
Santa: Is that all?
Her: Yep.
Santa: There isnt anything else you want?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Not even a doll?
Her: Nope.
Santa: Nothing at all?
Her: I have alot of toys. Just ask my mom.
Santa: Oh yeah, thats right. Your room is messy.
Her: How did you know?
Santa: The other Santa told me.
Her: You really talk to him?
Santa: Do you thinkI have a choice?
Her: Well yeah. You dont have to work for him.
Santa: Well I have to make sure that he has a break now and then.
Her: Thats true.
Santa: So do you think you were a good girl this year?
Her: Of course, just ask my mom.
Me: *busted out laughing*
Santa: I take that as a no.
Her: But the real Santa gave me another chance.
Santa: But you just said you were good.
Her: You dont have to tell him that part.
Santa: But I dont have to. He knows all.
Her: He does?
Santa: Yes he does.
Her: You mean he actually watches me?
Santa: Yep.
Her: I need to put up darker curtains on my windows then.
Santa: *trying not to laugh* Dont worry. If he gave you a second chance then you are ok.
Her: Whew. I thought I was going to get.... Mom? Whats that stuff again?
Me: A lump of coal.
Her: What ever that is.
Santa: Yeah and you dont want that.
Her: Or snowman poop either. I got that last year.
Santa: *still trying not to laugh* Do you still want a picture?
Her: Sure. Mom?
Me: Yes I will get a picture. *ordered what shot I wanted from the lady*
* click *
Santa: Thank you for coming to visit me.
Her: You're welcome.
Santa: I will make sure he gets the message.
Her: What message?
Santa: What you want for Christmas.
Her: Ohhhhh.
Santa: You stop back and see me again.
Her: Oh I will. Im here at least twice a week.
Santa: Great. I'll see you then.
Her: Ok. Bye. *she gives him a hug and walks up the ramp to see grandpa*
Me: *paid for the pictures* OMG.... *busts out laughing*
Santa: Shes a piece of work.
Camera lady: *laughing* Never a dull moment in your house.
Me: I'll be back in two days.
Both: Ok... Bye.
posted by BC at
7:29 PM
4 Comments:
Hilarious!
Shes a nut. LOLOL
She will be a handful in the coming years. Good luck!
If you think the santa thing was funny, you should read back in the archives about the easter bunny molesting me.
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