Ego Damage Part 2....

The trip out was quite eventful. Firstly, we didnt take the make route. I hate driving the thruway. That is just nuts to me. Yes, it is the faster way to go but I prefer the road off the the side that runs along the whole route to where I need to go. I dont have to worry about cars on my ass or trucks flying around me. Im more relaxed on the country road. I can look at the houses and the small towns along the way. With the thruway, its all fly by and nerve racking. Plus I can stop in the towns to stretch and walk a little and plenty of places to use a bathroom or get a drink. And its much cheaper for gas and such. Some people reading this will understand my issues with thruway rest area bathrooms. Eeewwww.

There are a lot of sites that I like to see along this route. Houses that I like to look at. Most of these towns have old victorian houses that I love and would dream of having as my own. The view is up much higher than the thruway at some points and the view of the Mohawk Valley is beautiful. I make the same amount of time as I would on the highway as I do on the side road. Just better and more relaxing.

We got into town at about 230pm. Not bad timing. We went to the cemetery to see what was there and where my aunt would be buried. We couldnt find the spot as they hadnt dug it up yet. But we needed to take some time as the viewing wouldnt be til 4pm. We stopped off to BK again to get a drink and use the bathroom. Cami needed to change her clothes too. She always brings a change of clothes in case she gets car sick. Shes known for that. So she wore regular clothes up and changed into something suitable for the funeral home. By the time we got settled and back on the road, it was almost 3pm.

I thought for sure we would head to one of the relatives house first before the funeral home. But my father wanted to go straight in. I told him we wouldnt be allowed to go in til 4pm. He didnt seem to understand this. Yes, we are family but the immediate family would be in early for something more private before everyone else showed up. This immediate family would include her sons and her husband. Yes, siblings were immediate family but this was something different for them. Not us. Its only out of respect for them that we remain outside til 4pm.

The sun was getting hot so I parked in the back lot area. We could see the side parking lot and would see who came in after us. Soon, my cousins and uncle showed up. They went right in and I once again had to tell my father to stay put. Let them have their private time first. They still had to do a final meeting with the funeral directer and the minister first. He wasnt thrilled but remained in the car.

He remained til about 345 and then needed to use the bathroom. I cant say no because I needed to as well. So we went up to the door and they let us in after asking if we were family. He still didnt understand this. But anyway, after all, the time he takes using the bathroom would put us past 4pm. So we went in and did what we needed to do. I had to fix my makeup because my allergies caused my eyes to burn and run. Im not vain. I just prefer to look good.

Upon entering the room where we would have the viewing, my cousin David jumped up and gave me a hug. We hadnt seen each other since we were kids. When I spent my weekends at grandmas, he and his brother were always there and were my closest friends. We did everything together. It was so great to see him. Of course now we are in our 40s. He lives in Dallas and his brother lives in Buffalo. Mark came over and hugged me too. I was just as much in tears for this moment as I was when I went to my aunts casket. I come from a huge family on that side and there are a choice few that I was able to grow up with and play with. I was hoping more of those cousins would be there tonight.

I met the wives of my two cousins and we hit it off right away. Cami met Marks daughter and off they went to a corner to play video games and talk and get to know each other. They were fast friends. David and I chatted about the old times. Mark joined in with all the stories of things we did when we were kids and the trouble we always got into. We talked about how everything at my grandmas house was the same. Two of my uncles lived there with her and remain there. We laughed more than we cried. Soon other family members came in and we all gathered in groups to chat. Most I havent seen since I was a child but it was like time never seperated us. We picked up where we left off. It was great.

Time was ticking down and it was getting after 6pm. I asked my father what he wanted to do and he said he wasnt feeling all that well and wanted to go home instead of getting a room. He doesnt like hotel rooms and neither do I. But the thought of driving two hours home and then back again in the morning was a bit much. But thats what he wanted and who was I to argue.

We left at about 630 with the promise to return in the morning. On the way out, we ran into my Uncle David. I was wondering why he wasnt there with my other uncle and cousin. He said that he was told that the viewing was at 7 to 9pm. I said no, it was 4 to 7pm. So he ran in and said he would see us in the morning. Not like we hadnt seen him recently. We had lunch with him a few days earlier when we came up with my sister. So all was well and we left the funeral home.

The sky was looking a little unsettled and I had heard thunder earlier when we were inside. I wasnt looking forward to the drive home and I was hoping it wouldnt storm and we would make it before dark. Back out onto the side route and I was ready to beat the clock. I know I should have taken the thruway home though. We would have made faster time. But driving on that in a storm wasnt on the top of my thrill list for the day. I had a headache from the pollen and wasnt in the mood to fight traffic.

I could see the storm clouds to the west and they didnt look inviting. I could hear the thunder and see the lightning. This was the picture all the way home. For the next two hours, I was in a panic to make it home before dark and stay ahead of that storm. It looked to be pretty bad. I made it home with about an hour to spare before the storm hit. It was another long sleepless night with the lights on.

Ego Damage....

Once again, I havent blogged in a while. Im not getting lazy. There has just been a lot going on here lately. The weather has been insane. I feel bad and pray for those down south. They got slammed more than a few times too many. Mother Nature has some serious issues. She needs to cool her crap.

We all know that Im scared to death of thunder storms. Its not the thunder. Its not the lightning. Its the chance of damage, fire and power outages. Im scared of the dark. I admit it. Im terrified of what I cant see. If I ever go blind, Id go insane. Its it night time and the power goes out, I panic. If Im not near a flashlight or something, I sit where I am and I cry. Im not ashamed to admit this but its true. Im a blubbering baby.

A couple of weeks ago, my aunt had a stroke. She has been suffering major health issues for years now but this was the major deal. It left her paralized and unable to speak. She passed away last Sat. Being that she was living in PA at the time, I didnt expect a funeral so fast. I was expecting it later in the week. Come Monday, I told my boss to expect that I would be out for a couple of days. The funeral would be out of town and Im sure my father would want to get a couple of hotel rooms. You figure on the viewing and then the funeral on two seperate days.

At about 2pm on Monday, I got a call from my father that the viewing was on Tuesday and the funeral on Wednesday. So I let them know and I went to see my father when I left work. We had some plans to make and no time to make them. We decided that we would go to the viewing and see about a room then. Ok.

The past couple of days before that, the weather wasnt being too kind. We had some storms and the ones down south seemed tobe heading my way. I wasnt thrilled about having to be two hours away from home and dealing with storms. I dont like to drive long distances as it was. Doing it in the rain only adds to my misery.

I had spent Sunday night up all night with the storms. I had my flashlight with me in bed and was watching tv til I fell asleep with the lights on. I deal with it better during the day and I dont mind watching the storms. The previous Wednesday we had a nasty one too. I was on my way to my fathers house when the skies opened and a crack of lightning came straight down close to me. That made me scared enough but I wasnt going to be driving out to Utica that day. My sister was going to do the driving. Considering that the storms come from west to east, we had a nice day out there. It was storming here though.

Now its my turn to drive out there. I wasnt thrilled. On Tuesday morning, I got up early, went to my fathers house and picked him up. We had to go to Albany to the VA for his cancer treatment meeting. He has been having some major issues with the radiation treatments. Hes been refusing to get them because of the method they have to use. Meaning he has to lay down on the table with the donut rotating above him. He doesnt like this and panics and they refuse to take him out til the treatment is over.

This time Im going to be there to talk to the doctor about this and see if there is another way he can get the treatments without feeling trapped and scared in the machine. He can take the treatment but cant take the time they use to line everything up. He has serious breathing problems and laying flat makes this worse for him. He cant breathe and therefore panics even more.

They sat with us and we talked about other options. There is another machine that is open and he would be elevated a little but the treatment itself will take more than the ten minutes the other machine offered. We agreed to try this option. So they took him into the room and laid him on the table. They marked the board for him and where the treatment spot would be set up for this other machine. He felt a little better by this. We shall see about it next week when he starts the treatments again.

After that we went to BK for something to eat. Once that was done, we stopped at his place for anything he needed for the trip to Utica. Then we stopped at my house to do the same. At about 1pm, we were on the road headed west. The sky was clear and it was starting to get warmer out. It was going to be a good trip.