Saturday, April 30, 2011

Ego Damage....

Once again, I havent blogged in a while. Im not getting lazy. There has just been a lot going on here lately. The weather has been insane. I feel bad and pray for those down south. They got slammed more than a few times too many. Mother Nature has some serious issues. She needs to cool her crap.

We all know that Im scared to death of thunder storms. Its not the thunder. Its not the lightning. Its the chance of damage, fire and power outages. Im scared of the dark. I admit it. Im terrified of what I cant see. If I ever go blind, Id go insane. Its it night time and the power goes out, I panic. If Im not near a flashlight or something, I sit where I am and I cry. Im not ashamed to admit this but its true. Im a blubbering baby.

A couple of weeks ago, my aunt had a stroke. She has been suffering major health issues for years now but this was the major deal. It left her paralized and unable to speak. She passed away last Sat. Being that she was living in PA at the time, I didnt expect a funeral so fast. I was expecting it later in the week. Come Monday, I told my boss to expect that I would be out for a couple of days. The funeral would be out of town and Im sure my father would want to get a couple of hotel rooms. You figure on the viewing and then the funeral on two seperate days.

At about 2pm on Monday, I got a call from my father that the viewing was on Tuesday and the funeral on Wednesday. So I let them know and I went to see my father when I left work. We had some plans to make and no time to make them. We decided that we would go to the viewing and see about a room then. Ok.

The past couple of days before that, the weather wasnt being too kind. We had some storms and the ones down south seemed tobe heading my way. I wasnt thrilled about having to be two hours away from home and dealing with storms. I dont like to drive long distances as it was. Doing it in the rain only adds to my misery.

I had spent Sunday night up all night with the storms. I had my flashlight with me in bed and was watching tv til I fell asleep with the lights on. I deal with it better during the day and I dont mind watching the storms. The previous Wednesday we had a nasty one too. I was on my way to my fathers house when the skies opened and a crack of lightning came straight down close to me. That made me scared enough but I wasnt going to be driving out to Utica that day. My sister was going to do the driving. Considering that the storms come from west to east, we had a nice day out there. It was storming here though.

Now its my turn to drive out there. I wasnt thrilled. On Tuesday morning, I got up early, went to my fathers house and picked him up. We had to go to Albany to the VA for his cancer treatment meeting. He has been having some major issues with the radiation treatments. Hes been refusing to get them because of the method they have to use. Meaning he has to lay down on the table with the donut rotating above him. He doesnt like this and panics and they refuse to take him out til the treatment is over.

This time Im going to be there to talk to the doctor about this and see if there is another way he can get the treatments without feeling trapped and scared in the machine. He can take the treatment but cant take the time they use to line everything up. He has serious breathing problems and laying flat makes this worse for him. He cant breathe and therefore panics even more.

They sat with us and we talked about other options. There is another machine that is open and he would be elevated a little but the treatment itself will take more than the ten minutes the other machine offered. We agreed to try this option. So they took him into the room and laid him on the table. They marked the board for him and where the treatment spot would be set up for this other machine. He felt a little better by this. We shall see about it next week when he starts the treatments again.

After that we went to BK for something to eat. Once that was done, we stopped at his place for anything he needed for the trip to Utica. Then we stopped at my house to do the same. At about 1pm, we were on the road headed west. The sky was clear and it was starting to get warmer out. It was going to be a good trip.