Stranger things can happen....

But why do they always happen to me?


Ive been sick. Yes Im sure everyone knows but I cant seem to kick this. Im still coughing my lungs out. Only thing is, I cant get anythign out and I know its there. The doc gave me something with codine in it but the other part of the medicine is a muscus thickener. Or so the medical book says. Yeah I have one of those books just so I know what Im getting myself into. There is some really freaky stuff in there. Not for the timid, thats for sure.

I think I have taken stock in Halls cough drops. Ive been sucking on them all day just so I dont go into a coughing fit and chocke to death. Seems that what ever is in my lungs gets only so far and thats it. I know its there but it just wont come out. I inhale and I hear the crackling. I exhale and I whistle. Yeah, I whistle out of my lungs. Pretty impressive huh?

Ive been feeling a little better because that stuff the doc gave me knocks me out cold. But it wasnt helping me when I woke up. I would end up coughing and coughing til I turned blue in the face. A nice shade of blue but Im not impressed with it. So I went to the store and bought Robitussin DM and that seems to help alot.

I also had a nice conversation with my friend DB about how I cant throw up. It was interesting to say the least. Hes very knowledgeable on this subject. But for some reason, I cant throw up unless I use extreme force. So you can imagine all the things I can do with my abdominal muscles to make my lungs clear out.

Now we will go back to Friday. We have this little girl in the class that will remain unnamed. Shes an attention mooch and will turn violent if she doesnt get her way. Well Friday toppe the cake and I will no longer have anything to do with her when she decides to lash out. I had to hold her wrist tight and take her to the office. I couldnt let go because she will lash out at anyone walking past. When I mean lash out, i mean strike them with any means possible. Kick, slap, bite, whatever it takes. So while i have a good grip on her, shes using her nails to rip apart the flesh on the back of my hand. All the while she is doing this, the F-bomb is getting dropped at every point.

In the Time Out Room, she proceeded to pick up desks and flip them in the air and call the other kids some nice new names. Im wondering where this child learned this language. Im a very tolerable and extremely patient person. But this chick stole every last nerve I had and I still had to remain cool about the situation.

What gets me the most is that she was laughing and took a thrill in how my hand was bleeding. The back of my hand looks like I was having fun petting a very unaffectionate cat. Oh yeah, my resolution was to stop sweating the petty things and to stop petting the sweating things. Guess I broke that one already.

So she gets suspended for one day. That was yesterday. Good thing too because there was a substitute in the room. Im sure that if she were there, the poor lady would have pissed her pants and ran away screaming.

So now we are at Tuesday. Shes back and she made it as far as the classroom door before she decided to have a hissy fit. I heard the growl and proceeded to make my way to the other kids to help them off with their coats. I will be damned to start my morning collecting ashes in hell. I went inside and thats when we discovered that she took off. For all we knew, she ran out the doors and is now walking down the street. One can dream cant they?

Well Im not chasing her because thats what she wants. But if someone doesnt go after her then the school can face a lawsuit. The shared para in the room went out to look for her because I was not about to deal with it. Yeah thats my way of thinking on her now. I was hired to help three kids in the class and she aint one of them.

Well she came back with some pushing. Literally. I took care of my morning work. But something really strange happened. A song popped into my head and for the life of me, I couldnt get rid of it. Im serious. This was beyond weird that Im in the middle of a screach fest with the demon from hell and the song that is pulsing in my head is Boogie Wonderland. I shit you none. Where did that come from? Is this some subliminal message to cause my brain to escape to a much better place?

All day long, I listened to my brain tell me to disco. I swear that this actually made me laugh a few times. My teacher asked me waht was so funny and I told her. She nearly died laughing. But the song got stuck in her head too. So it seemed that when something bad happened, we both started to hum this tune. How much more crazier can this get?

To make matters worse, my own kid decides to throw a shit fit today. She had one yesterday but I was able to smoothe it all out. Today was another matter. i wont baby her in school because she thinks that I will do it every day and I cant. Not that I wont, but simply I cant. I have a job to do. What set me off was that Im used to hearing the sounds of a few of the kids in her class go off the handle next door but this time it was my own. Well she wasnt getting a pity party from me this time. I called her father in to handle it and she didnt like that too much.

Then came dismissal. Whoohoo. Its about damn time if you ask me. Well on the way down the hall, I come across a few kids having some difficulty. I mean, come on. You are leaving. Go home and give your parents a hard time. Is it something in the lunch they ate today? Seems that this is coming from all directions at once. I gathered the kids that are on my bus and took them outside.

In the mean time, Im singing away.....

Boogie Wonderland....