Running on Empty..

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Running on Empty..... My last blog was very depressing and I need to get things moving again in a more positive direction. Lets see...where to begin. I will start with the fact that Im back to work again. Yay!! Its been forever. Ive been out of work since June. It was a crazy summer wondering what and where I would be placed in September. I was told that my position was eliminated because they moved the special ed program to another school. One that I wasnt about to go back to. I got a letter stating that I would return to the school I was working at and I was thrilled. Then I got a phone call informing me that I was bumped out by seniority. This happened five times until August. One of the other magnet schools in the district did a massive layoff and it was those people that were doing the bumping out. Well along comes the weekend before school is about to start and I get a phone call informing me that there is a mandatory meeting at the highschool for all staff. I was also informed that I was scheduled to appear at one of the middle schools for duty after. Ummmm I cant work at the middle schools because of the hours. I would have no way to get my daughter to school in the morning. So I let them know this and after the meeting I went straight to the human resources office. I was informed that to deny this position would mean to resign on my position. I was furious. This also meant that if I wanted to apply again and get placed for another school, I would have to fill out all the paperwork again. I got several calls for other schools that I did eventually apply for but the bumping out continued. What the hell? Then to make matters worse, the magnet school whose former employees are doing the bumping wants to hire me. Well if that aint a kick to the ass. I canceled the interview and just never called to reschedule. Eventually my old position at the school I want opened up. I waited for all the board meetings for the approvals by the parents and staff. Then it was signed by the district. I was all set to go in and about 4 days before that was to happen, someone else applied for the job. But there is a catch. Remember that I resigned. Technically Im no longer a district employee. Yes I did lose all my seniority in the process. Of course Im pissed about it. Well anyways, the person that applied is a district employee and gets first grabs at the position. Wouldnt ya know it, she wants it. That just about blows monkey chunks. My principal wants me in there and shes not too happy to have this other chick doing the job. The chick is a lunch aide. Not that being a lunch aide is a bad thing. I was one for 2 years. But this particular position requires alot of training and experience. And anyone that knows me well enough, knows that this job also requires an extreme amount of patience. When I say extreme, I mean seriously extreme. The job requires you to be a teacher, a mentor and a tempory mom to these kids. But here is the catch. These kids are borderline containment special ed kindergarteners. They have some learning disabilities and they do tend to have their moments of violence. They cant control this. At any given moment, one of these kids will temporarily snap. It may come as a focusing issue and you need to bring them back to reality or it could be a violent issue where they will lash out and kick, bite and throw things. But its only a short time that this happens. Most of these kids are not officially diagnosed for ADD or BiPolar yet. This is part of my job to evaluate them and also put them on the right track of learning and also helping them to use self control in how they process their day. It is a very stressful but also a very rewarding job. I love doing it. Yeah I guess Im a sucker for punishment. But in all truth, someone has to help these kids get a fighting chance to learn to help themselves. This is a school district that is classified as inner-city and most of the families here are within the poverty guidelines. A balanced home life is something most of these kids know nothing about. To come to school means that they will receive positive attention. I know its sad but thats how life here works. Its people like me and the staff at these schools that make a huge difference in the little minds that we are given each day. We help mold them into bright, happy and caring children. We give them a shot at a positive future. So now I bring you back to where I left off before. My principal had her hands tied at this decision. What could she do but offer this job to some chick that her whole experience is cleaning up after the kids and spending their recess time with them. Yes its a difficult job as well but you dont work directly with special ed kids. The special ed paras work with them. So she decided to go to the board and put her ass on the line for me to have this job because I have the experience, the training and I have also worked with the teacher and classroom involved. Even the teacher put her ass on the line because she prefered me. I got the notice one morning while out on the playground putting my daughter in line to start her day. My principal approached me with the news that I would be starting soon and to contact the human resources office for my paperwork. I nearly peed my pants. I was due to start on th 16th but they changed it to the 27th of Nov. So here I am at the end of my first week back. I have 3 children to work with this year and there is a para in the room for the rest of the kids. But the catch is that I also work with a few of the other kids to help them focus when their moments get off the tracks. One has shyness issues and has already attached himself to me. The other is a little girl that really should be in containment but they want me to work with her to help her control her violent issues. Today I really got a good dose of her. My teacher tried to control her and couldnt do it because she needed to do her job with the rest of the class. I took over and took a few hits in the process til her mother came in. Tomorrow is another day so we shall see just how well this little girl can handle it. She got a good taste of how I do things. Im sure the taste was bitter too. I dont put up with the things she as trying to pull. I know when these kids are having an uncontrolable problem and this was not one of them. This was an attention issue and I will not baby her. But you know what? Tomorrow is Friday and I get to chill out for the weekend. And I also get paid to do this kind of a job. Im glad that I have a strong mind and a strong body. But Im also extrememly patient. Ive been told that Im too patient for my own good. Who else would be crazy enough to love doing this kind of job?