Lotsa Lotsa Lotsa Legs
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Lotsa Lotsa Lotsa Legs
Current mood: blank
Remember these things when you were a kid? I loved them. I think the only bugs I really like are the ones you can buy in a store that are cute and stuffed with poly-fil.
I also love Glow-worms but thats a whole 'nuther story. Or should I just say something that "glows". *coughDopecough* 'nuf said.
Anywho, what made me think of that was the other morning I was sitting out in the hall with one of the kids and I had to calm and soothe him to be able to bring him back into the class.
So here we sit in the hall and we are talking about things he likes and he mentions that he hates bugs. I hate bugs too. Well we all know about "godzilla". Havent seen any of his friends lately. Thats a good thing though.
Well he starts to calm down and then he looks at me with the face of horror. I go into a slight panic but mask it really quick so he doesnt panic too. To my surprise, I get to introduce you to yet another friend. I looked down at my hand and holy bejeezes what the hell is that!!!!
http://www.uky.edu/Ag/Entomology/entfacts/images/hsepede.jpg
Its on the back of my hand!! What the hell do I do now? I cant panic in front of this kid who is scared of bugs too. I try to act all cool about it and I get to my feet. In the process I fling the big hairy sasquach down the hall and procede to do a drop kick on it. You think this thing would die? Oh, hell no. Im thinking that Godzilla sent him to open a can of whoop-ass on me for sending him down with a plunger.
Well the kid gets up and chases it and he tries to step on it too but his little shoe is no match for Mr. Ihaveamillionlegsbutyoucanttellwhichendismyass so he decides that its suddenly cool to look at. He then picks it up and starts to run back to the classroom with it. In the mean time, I cant breathe and Im near passing out. I cant let him in the door because then all the kids are going to freak and scream. Well the girls sure would anyways. Maybe a couple of the boys too. But thats not what the point is. I just dont want that thing anywhere near me, alive or dead.
So I stopped him and made him drop it on the floor. Boy was he pissed at me now and so was the kid. Needless to say, it ended up slithering away and found a hole in the wall and disappeared. Probably to go tell all his friends about me and will regroup to come again to kick my ass later.
Well I think he did just that because not even 15 minutes later I was back in the class and one of the girls was staring at me with a look of horror. These kids are all getting good at that.
She looks up and Im almost afraid to look in that direction too. Almost. I really should have taken that look seriously though. Dummy me actually looks. Well damnit, wouldnt you know it. He sent Godzilla to come and do his dirty work for him.
About 4 inches above my head is a friggin' wood spider. Im glad Im quick to the draw and I duck out just in time. But with the laws of physics, that quick movement also caused a slight pulse of air that also made him move too. Well jeeze you would think I could get away from him, but nooooooo, he had to come with me to the tea party.
Smart spider that he is though, he went scurrying back up his web and ended up losing his footing. Well some spider you are. Nah-nah... He dropped to the floor and I proceded to introduce him to the bottom of my shoe. Im sure they made a perfect pair. Oh bad pun but it wasnt meant to be that. I just thought of it after I typed it and Im too lazy tonight to change it.
This on the other hand caused all the kids to gather around the freak show to see what I had. Do you honestly think Im going to move my foot and have one of them pick it up and run around with it? Nuh uh!!
So there I stood with my foot firmy planted on the crunchy but squooshy eight-legged freak that has now taken up residence under my shoe and trying to get 18 5 year olds to go sit down. Imagine that task. Not easily done.
I did have one go get me a roll or paper towels to clean up the mess. Brave little boy that he was. He got the towels and proceded to throw them at me and run like hell back to his seat. Smart. Wish I could do that. But noooo, I have to wipe up that mess and pretend to not want to scream and run like a little girl. Oh wait. I am a little girl. Well I guess its ok then.
Lotsa Lotsa Lotsa Legs
Current mood: blank
Remember these things when you were a kid? I loved them. I think the only bugs I really like are the ones you can buy in a store that are cute and stuffed with poly-fil.
I also love Glow-worms but thats a whole 'nuther story. Or should I just say something that "glows". *coughDopecough* 'nuf said.
Anywho, what made me think of that was the other morning I was sitting out in the hall with one of the kids and I had to calm and soothe him to be able to bring him back into the class.
So here we sit in the hall and we are talking about things he likes and he mentions that he hates bugs. I hate bugs too. Well we all know about "godzilla". Havent seen any of his friends lately. Thats a good thing though.
Well he starts to calm down and then he looks at me with the face of horror. I go into a slight panic but mask it really quick so he doesnt panic too. To my surprise, I get to introduce you to yet another friend. I looked down at my hand and holy bejeezes what the hell is that!!!!
http://www.uky.edu/Ag/Entomology/entfacts/images/hsepede.jpg
Its on the back of my hand!! What the hell do I do now? I cant panic in front of this kid who is scared of bugs too. I try to act all cool about it and I get to my feet. In the process I fling the big hairy sasquach down the hall and procede to do a drop kick on it. You think this thing would die? Oh, hell no. Im thinking that Godzilla sent him to open a can of whoop-ass on me for sending him down with a plunger.
Well the kid gets up and chases it and he tries to step on it too but his little shoe is no match for Mr. Ihaveamillionlegsbutyoucanttellwhichendismyass so he decides that its suddenly cool to look at. He then picks it up and starts to run back to the classroom with it. In the mean time, I cant breathe and Im near passing out. I cant let him in the door because then all the kids are going to freak and scream. Well the girls sure would anyways. Maybe a couple of the boys too. But thats not what the point is. I just dont want that thing anywhere near me, alive or dead.
So I stopped him and made him drop it on the floor. Boy was he pissed at me now and so was the kid. Needless to say, it ended up slithering away and found a hole in the wall and disappeared. Probably to go tell all his friends about me and will regroup to come again to kick my ass later.
Well I think he did just that because not even 15 minutes later I was back in the class and one of the girls was staring at me with a look of horror. These kids are all getting good at that.
She looks up and Im almost afraid to look in that direction too. Almost. I really should have taken that look seriously though. Dummy me actually looks. Well damnit, wouldnt you know it. He sent Godzilla to come and do his dirty work for him.
About 4 inches above my head is a friggin' wood spider. Im glad Im quick to the draw and I duck out just in time. But with the laws of physics, that quick movement also caused a slight pulse of air that also made him move too. Well jeeze you would think I could get away from him, but nooooooo, he had to come with me to the tea party.
Smart spider that he is though, he went scurrying back up his web and ended up losing his footing. Well some spider you are. Nah-nah... He dropped to the floor and I proceded to introduce him to the bottom of my shoe. Im sure they made a perfect pair. Oh bad pun but it wasnt meant to be that. I just thought of it after I typed it and Im too lazy tonight to change it.
This on the other hand caused all the kids to gather around the freak show to see what I had. Do you honestly think Im going to move my foot and have one of them pick it up and run around with it? Nuh uh!!
So there I stood with my foot firmy planted on the crunchy but squooshy eight-legged freak that has now taken up residence under my shoe and trying to get 18 5 year olds to go sit down. Imagine that task. Not easily done.
I did have one go get me a roll or paper towels to clean up the mess. Brave little boy that he was. He got the towels and proceded to throw them at me and run like hell back to his seat. Smart. Wish I could do that. But noooo, I have to wipe up that mess and pretend to not want to scream and run like a little girl. Oh wait. I am a little girl. Well I guess its ok then.
posted by BC at
6:46 PM
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