Friday, May 12, 2006

Inflation in Fairy Land

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Inflation in Fairy Land

Current mood: nostalgic

Well my daughter lost a tooth the other day. It was very loose for a couple of weeks and I thought that sucker would never come out. The reason I say this is because she has had a loose one since October that just refuses to budge.

When she lost her first tooth it was the greatest thing. I went bonkers trying to find it. You would think she would have noticed it but she didnt. She woke up in the middle of the night and it just so happened to be gone. Well I did find that one two days later after combing the carpets. You bet your ass that Im getting that first tooth. :o)

The second one was never found. She was laying on the living room floor and I had been cutting styrofoam for something and it looked like it snowed in there. And thats when she decided to tell me that her tooth is missing. Good Gawd I went and pinched every damn piece of styrofoam and the tooth was never found. I think she swallowed that one. And no, I was not about to check the other end for it.

The third was a top tooth and that was lost in the school somewhere between the hours of 9am to 11am. Im sure it bounced out of her mouth in the Gym. But with her, ya never know. I told her that morning to keep her mouth closed til she lost the tooth. Hey, miracles can happen. But not on that day they didnt.

Then she lost a tiny one on top that just never grew back in. Good thing too because that would have made her teeth crooked. The other loose one she has now is the other tiny one that is also a useless one that wont grow back in.

She did lose her other top front tooth but the tooth fairy was able to snatch that one right up. The others she had to find for me because I for damn sure wasnt going to crawl in the halls at school looking for one tiny tooth on the marbled floor. What do you think Im crazy? Well I am, but Im not stupid.

Do you remember losing a tooth when you were a kid? I remember that all too well. My brother would tie a string around it and then to a door knob and slam the door when I was ready. Once I remember landing on the floor with the tooth still firmly implanted in my mouth. Nice work Jon. HA!! It didnt. Once another brother, Jim, attatched a string to it and wrapped it around a book and dropped it on the floor. That one worked and alsoo scared the bejeezes out of me.

Well I have tried these tricks on her but I guess I just wasnt good at it. Either that or her teeth are anchored in concrete.

Also I never got to put the tooth under my pillow. We had this strange lamp that had an oriental chick with a black cat. There was a sort of pocket between them and mom would make me put the tooth in there. Did she think I was going to try to reattach it in the middle of the night? Not likely. Especially after what I went through trying to get rid of it. And the money was always found in that pocket.

My daughter isnt allowed to put it under her pillow either because she will just play with the envelope and wait up for someone to give her money for it. So I keep the tooth and promise her that when she falls asleep, I will slip the envelope under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy to come. Mind you that she lost this particular tooth two days ago and it went under her pillow tonight. This kid doesnt sleep. I swear shes more like me than I realized. Well she passed out tonight at 9 so I thought it was a good as time as any to pull this event off.

Now mind you that when I was a kid, I got either a quarter for the front teeth and two quarters for the back teeth. Fair deal when I was a kid right? I got to go to the local market and buy some candy so I could rot my teeth some more to get more quarters. See? I was somewhat smart then.

This brings us now to the years 2005 and 2006. Damn inflation gets ya in the rear every time. Teeth are so expensive now. Wish I was a kid now because the Tooth Fairy is paying $2 bucks at a pop. Id like to see what she pays for the back teeth. Damn she must be making mucho moolah to be able to spend like that.

Well my daughter woke up at 11pm tonight and saw the money under her pillow. She was all excited that the Tooth Fairy finally came to see her and then she went potty. Probably from all that excitement. Or she just drank too much water before she went to bed.

Then of all things she put the money back under her pillow and went back to sleep. Knowing her, shes probably thinking that by morning it will double.

By the way, what does the Tooth Fairy do with all these teeth? Im almost too scared to find out. Almost.

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