Silly Kids, Trix is for Rabbits
Monday, April 17, 2006
Silly Kids, Trix is for Rabbits
Due to my crappy weekend, I just wasnt in the mood to write anything good. Im really still not in the mood but I have to occupy my mellon somehow. I said mellon, not mellonssss. Get your minds out of the gutter and take mine with you. Dont forget to light a match.
Anywho, Saturday night after all was said and done, I just couldnt stay in the house. It was too painful to do so. So off to the mall we went. My daughter wanted to go to see the Easter Bunny. Mind you that this is a scary thing. What goes on inside that huge head? And that blank stare is enough to make you have nightmares. But this is the dude that lays rainbow eggs so who am I to complain. Quite a talent if you ask me.
So off my daughter runs to see this mythical creature. Oh and have you ever noticed that he changes colors every year? Anyways, she goes up and tells him her sad tales and then tells him that she promises to go to sleep early so he can come to bring her toys and junk. Yeah more and more junk for me to clean up after. Oh and we cant forget to bring candy. Yeah thats what I need. More junk and a wild child that crawls from room to room on the ceiling. And thats before she eats any of it.
So here we are standing there in front of a line of kids waiting to get their turn at the big headed bunny and she decides to play it really sweet. She gives him a hug and then introduces me. Yep... Come on mom and play it up for all the kiddies so you dont look like a total ass and say hi to the bunny. Ok, so I wave and laugh it off.
Now comes the part that shocks me. Yeah me, shocked. Can ya believe it? She tells me to give the bunny a hug. Are you kidding me? Well once again I cant look like the bad mom and walk away. So what do I do? I bow to my daughter for coming up with such a bright idea and I bend down to give the bunny a hug. In the process I felt something that I know I should not have felt. Ok, so Im not the only one that felt something because Mr. Imakidsfantasyfairytalefreakthatlayseggs honked my boob.
I was molested by the Easter Bunny!!! Well we all know that its not the real Easter Bunny but someone dressed in a costume. But still. This dude took the pleasure and honked me. He took a hell of a squeeze too. Not that you can avoid them but still. Not a brush by either. A full hand grabbing HONK.
So here I am getting felt up by some dude in a costume with three fingered gloves on and a huge head that I know he cant see out of and hes getting his kicks knowing that I cant make a huge scene in front of all the other kiddies. Hes having his fun.
At least I hope it was a he....
Either way, Im flattered.
Now wheres my candy, Bub!!!
Silly Kids, Trix is for Rabbits
Due to my crappy weekend, I just wasnt in the mood to write anything good. Im really still not in the mood but I have to occupy my mellon somehow. I said mellon, not mellonssss. Get your minds out of the gutter and take mine with you. Dont forget to light a match.
Anywho, Saturday night after all was said and done, I just couldnt stay in the house. It was too painful to do so. So off to the mall we went. My daughter wanted to go to see the Easter Bunny. Mind you that this is a scary thing. What goes on inside that huge head? And that blank stare is enough to make you have nightmares. But this is the dude that lays rainbow eggs so who am I to complain. Quite a talent if you ask me.
So off my daughter runs to see this mythical creature. Oh and have you ever noticed that he changes colors every year? Anyways, she goes up and tells him her sad tales and then tells him that she promises to go to sleep early so he can come to bring her toys and junk. Yeah more and more junk for me to clean up after. Oh and we cant forget to bring candy. Yeah thats what I need. More junk and a wild child that crawls from room to room on the ceiling. And thats before she eats any of it.
So here we are standing there in front of a line of kids waiting to get their turn at the big headed bunny and she decides to play it really sweet. She gives him a hug and then introduces me. Yep... Come on mom and play it up for all the kiddies so you dont look like a total ass and say hi to the bunny. Ok, so I wave and laugh it off.
Now comes the part that shocks me. Yeah me, shocked. Can ya believe it? She tells me to give the bunny a hug. Are you kidding me? Well once again I cant look like the bad mom and walk away. So what do I do? I bow to my daughter for coming up with such a bright idea and I bend down to give the bunny a hug. In the process I felt something that I know I should not have felt. Ok, so Im not the only one that felt something because Mr. Imakidsfantasyfairytalefreakthatlayseggs honked my boob.
I was molested by the Easter Bunny!!! Well we all know that its not the real Easter Bunny but someone dressed in a costume. But still. This dude took the pleasure and honked me. He took a hell of a squeeze too. Not that you can avoid them but still. Not a brush by either. A full hand grabbing HONK.
So here I am getting felt up by some dude in a costume with three fingered gloves on and a huge head that I know he cant see out of and hes getting his kicks knowing that I cant make a huge scene in front of all the other kiddies. Hes having his fun.
At least I hope it was a he....
Either way, Im flattered.
Now wheres my candy, Bub!!!
posted by BC at
6:22 PM
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