Mixed Emotions.....

Mixed Emotions....

Once again, I started this post and forgot about posting it.........Its from 2/21

Today was hell day. Its currently 2am and Im sitting here banging my head on the wall trying to still process it all in. Ive often wanted to write about the hell days but I thought that it was better left unsaid. But today was a day that just wound me up like a tight little spring. Everyone that knows me will tell you that Im one of the most patient people you will ever meet. It takes alot to put me over the edge. But today was exactly one of those days. Sometimes I do write it all down but I never post them. It just feels good to write it out and get it out of my system though. Im not sure if this is going to be one of the times that I post it up. We shall see when Im done writing.

I woke up this morning to the sound of the phone ringing. This is my vacation time and I would have appreciated another hour of sleep. I didnt get much the night before because of this cold I have. It seems that when I lay down, I start to cough. When I lay to the right side, all the crap in my nose rushes to that side. When I turn over, it all rushes to that side. I cant win. I cough and I cant breathe. This sucks. Ive taken enough Tylenol Cold meds to kill a horse. It just leaves me with a numb nose. Sure as hell doesnt unclog it though. Ive never understood the process it takes to make snot. Maybe I should do some research and a post on that. Where does it all come from? I think I have blown enough out of my nose to fill my sink. I know my head isnt that big.

But anywho, back to my morning. I always seem to get off track when Im in a rant. Im my hazy state of mind, I was stumbling through the house to get to the phone. It was my father wanting me to take him somewhere. I was still so tired from lack of sleep that I just agreed and needed a shower before I would be over to pick him up.

Due from the activity of the night before, I was sitting up watching tv and I had a drink that I had set on my desk. This is not something I normally do but I dont have a stand to put anything on other than the one that my tv is on. If I put something there, the cat tends to knock it off. So dummy me put the cup on the desk. Right in front of my keyboard.

I finally went to sleep. I wasnt asleep for long when I hear a little voice waking me up. This one was real though. Not one of those in my head. It was coming from Cami's room. I cant believe she was still up. I really cant sleep that well when she doesnt sleep. Its one of those things where I know shes bored and to relieve that, she plays or gets into things. She has a habit of stealing food that she doesnt eat. Or she will play in the bathroom. Its an ADHD thing.

So anywho, sure enough, she stole some candy. Well this isnt something that she should be doing so late at night because she will be up for the rest of the night. And sure enough, she was.

Just as a little side note, Im writing this weird because when I started it, it was that time but now its a week later and Im too lazy to change everything. Beare with me.

Well that night was a very long night. I think I finally dozed off around 6am. I really get to have much sleep when the phone rang and woke me up. My father had been having issues with his cell phone and wanted to go to the Verizon Center to get it checked out. So in my groggy, hazy state of mind, I grabbed for my towel on the back of my chair and proceeded to head to the shower. When I swung the towel over my shoulder, it hit the cup on my desk.

Oh shit. The cup went over and some of its contents went right on my keyboard. In my frantic panic, I grabbed the towel and proceeded to push it on my keyboard but it was too late. Really, there wasnt much in the cup but for some reason, the liquid doubled and went everywhere. On the keyboard and behind it. It was a mess. My keyboard is still attached by its cord to the computer. I havent advanced to the new ones yet. That cord was wrapped behind the monitor. So I tried to pick the keyboard up to clean behind it and under it. Thats when I realized that the cord was too short and my monitor tipped over. This is really pissing me off now. So I stand the monitor back up and in the process tipped the keyboard to the right. All the liquid poured out that end and onto my desk.

So I tipped it the other way to clean the desk and the rest of it all poured onto that side of the desk. SOB this was pissing me off more and more. Im still quite groggy but waking up and not happy about it. It was all happening so fast. I just said the hell with it and grabbed a pair os scissors and cut the damn cord. The keyboard went out the back door. It was toast anyway. It was filled with soda. How would I have possibly saved it? There was no way. So I went back to cleaning my desk. I had it all cleaned up and then I thought of my shower. I would need a new towel now.

I had a nice hot shower and I sort of relaxed a bit. I couldnt believe how stupid I was to have that cup there. This really set the mood for the day. But I was able to pull myself together and get ready. I picked my father up and off we went to the store. I told him that it sounded like the battery was gone and sure enough, I was right. We got all that set and then went to lunch.

Then we headed to Walmart. I needed a new keyboard. You dont think I would go on without one do you? Hell no. My computer is my sanity. Well, sort of. Its the sanity that leads to my insanity. I figured that Walmart would have a decent selection for what I needed. Im one of those that doesnt need all the fancy stuff. Well I guess I was wrong. They had only a few selections and not one of them was for me. But I needed something and this was my only chance. I had to choose between the tiny corded one or the regular sized wireless one. So I opted to move up in the world and get the wireless one. This also came with a new mouse. Which I also needed. At least the day wasnt all that bad. I hooked it all up and was back on line in no time.

Back to work on Monday. I really didnt want to go. I didnt get much sleep the night before because I was used to being able to sleep later in the mornings. Which was pretty much due to the fact that I was staying up really late because of Cami. I had a chit chat with her doctor and we worked out some new things to try and Im hoping they will work. A whole new plan to win a battle. We decided on a marble jar. When she does a good thing, marbles get put into the jar. When she does something bad, marbles come out of the jar. When she fills the jar, she gets a reward. Something like going to Build A Bear, or to have friends spend the night. Things like that. Things that she wants to earn. Even time on her DS or her MP3 player. Yeah she had those taken away for some of her midnight anticts. Lets see how that works. As of right now, there are no marbles in the jar.

Also during this week, I went to the foot doc again. She put new tapes on. I dont have to return for two weeks this time. Its been a whole week and I did very well. Except that I did do something I wasnt supposed to do. I was running. Im not supposed to because this aggrivates the injury site. But I had no choice. I was working with a friend of mine about some courses we had to take and I was just coming from her room. I was in the front foyer of the school when I heard the fire alarm go off. I had to get to my class to help get them out. I rounded the corner to head to my wing when I saw all the smoke. Oh shit. I turned around and went back to the front and helped get some other kids out of the building and then I ran down the front sidewalk to get to my class.

I was quite sore. But it was something I had no choice about. The most difficult part of all that was to keep the kids out of the melting snow and off the "landmines" on the sidewalk. Its pretty gross when people dont clean up after their animals. But we got through that day and I couldnt wait to be home. I have been napping again after work so that helps when I have to be up at night with Cami. It makes for a much better situation if I not stressed out and tired.

Also I want to add to this to let you know that my moms boyfriend is still in the rehab center. He went in for knee surgery on the 12th. He spent a couple of days in the hospital and then they sent him to a rehab center for 6 days. Well that six days thing turned out to be a little longer. He is diabetic and they are having a hell of a time regulating his sugar and this is making him weak. Its not helping for the PT at all. We are hoping that they can come up with something that will help him and bring him home. Please send out some good thoughts for him to recover soon.

Also I would like to add that my dog had her second birthday here. Shes 6 now. Time flies really fast when you are having fun.

I think thats all for now. If there is more, I will post that in a new blog that will probably show up a week from now.

Til next time.