Where did my tongue go?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Where did my tongue go? Here we go for part two of my harrowing tale of the dentist. It was scary. It really was. Someone hold my hand. Well we have a slight issue with this visit. How will I pay for it? Well, there is one way and that is to take a loan out from the Bank of Dad. Im a good girl and I always pay him back. I needed this done now. I didnt have a choice. So I asked very nicely. Actually I didnt. He called me up and asked if I had gotten my tooth fixed yet and I told him no. He asked why and I told him that I had to save up some cash and then make the appointment. He said to go on and make the appointment and "let him know". Okay. So I called the dentist office and set up the appointment for a week later and I called him back and "let him know". He said ok and hung up. Yeah these are our usual phone conversations. So I had the appointment set for Tuesday at 11am. Saturday, Cami got sick at camp and she was running a fever and we had Monday off from school. No biggie. Tuesday rolled around and The Caminator is still sick so she stayed home from school once again. I couldnt bring her with me to the dentist so I had to call and cancel the appointment. They made the change for me for Friday at 9am. Friday rolls around and I dropped her off to school and took the express route to the dentist office. Meaning she was dropped off at 8:45 and I flew like a bat out of hell to make it on time for the appointment. I get in and sign the book. Five minute wait and they called me right in. They placed me in that same chair I was in last time and I got to stare at that same picture of rotting teeth again. Oh joy. The dentist I had last time was with another patient. The one that came to me this time was a young female that was just too damn perky. Yeah, Im happy to be here too. She puts the chair all the way back and looks in my mouth. Oh, did you have that temporary filling put in while here? Ummm yeah. Oh, its not written on your chart. I can tell this will be fun. So now she sticks a q-tip loaded with goop on it and swirls it all over the left side of my mouth. She then immediately comes at me with the needle. Oh shit. My fave part. Raise your hand if you feel any discomfort. Well in my past experiences, the goop stuff is supposed to sort of numb you a little before you do the needle right? Well she didnt give it time to. So yeah, expect some discomfort and expect me to raise my hand and well, I dont know what I will do but it might hurt. What happened next totally perplexed the hell out of me. An experience that I have never had in my life. I actually have to laugh about it now because I dont know why or how she did it, but it worked. She grabbed my cheek. Her fingers on the out side and her thumb on the inside and she pulled it away from my face. Ok, thats to be able to have clearance to put that needle in. She then shook the hell out of my cheek and then put the needle in. I had no feeling of it entering between my jaw bones. Usually going between the jaw bones is the worse pain ever. And then they wiggle the damn thing around. Hurts like hell. But the way she did it, I didnt feel anything at all. Ok so my arm wasnt raising and you get to live another day. Good job indeed. Yes it was very amusing and then she tells me to sit tight for a few minutes and to raise my hand when I could no longer feel my lip. This took all of about 5 minutes and I pretty much lost half my face. I can only feel half of my tongue though. That is the weirdest feeling. One side of my tongue felt like it was the size of a volleyball. She comes back and pinches my lip and nope, I didnt feel a damn thing. So then she lays the chair all the way back again and her assistant comes over to join in on the fun. In the mean time the two were chatting about a party that one went to that weekend and how blitzed they got. Interesting conversation and I really could care less but did they have to ask me questions while doing it? You know damn well that my mouth is stuffed with cotton rolls and you have your hand in my mouth. How the hell am I supposed to answer? Do dentists have a required class to understand the language of grunts? She then wrapped my tooth in a metal ring and proceeded to drill out the temp filling. Done easy enough and her assistant was quick with the sucky thingy to get up all the pieces. And to my amazement, nothing shot out and landed on my face. Isnt that what usually happens? Im actually liking it here. Now comes the fun part. The amazing chemical process unknown to the average person of how to mix a new tooth. Inside this metal ring, she placed a small hard ball of something that smelled bad and pressed it in with one of her metal tool thingys. Then she added a liquid. The assistant had this blue laser light thing and flashed it against my tooth. Then a different liquid was added and then the light thing again. This happened one more time. She held the light there for a little longer and then the metal thing was removed. Walla a new tooth. Amazing. Except it was a huge flat, round block. I know what comes next and thats the carbon paper that I need to bite on and grind. Nope. I was wrong. She proceeded to hack away at making the hills and knolls of my upper tooth to match this one. Her assisnt was very helpful with that sucky thingy again. Then she made me chomp on that carbon paper. One small adjustment and it was all done. I sit up and there is a nasty taste in my mouth from the chemicals that were used to create the filling. I think the assistant saw the look on my face because she handed me a cup of mouthwash. I swished and I remembered that there is no spit bowl. Didnt matter because she shoved the thing in my face from the last time. It is such a cool little thing. Like a mini funnel with a suction hose attached. Nifty if I may say so myself. So now Im allowed to leave. I go out to the desk to get my bill and head out the door. Oh and I was told not to eat anything on it for at least an hour. Why would I shove food in my mouth when I dont even know where my mouth is? I have half a tongue for cripes sake. Ok, Im game. I wont do anything for at least an hour. I get home and I call Girlie to let her know that my mouth is all fixed. Here is the fun part. I discover that I cant find my ear either. So I cant tell where the phone goes against my head. This is going to be fun. I have never been this numb ever from a dentist visit. This is going to be a doozey when it wears off. So Im on the phone with her and I need a drink. I was told not to eat but damn I need a drink to get the bad taste out of my mouth. So I get up and pour a drink into a cup. I take a swig. There is a problem. It didnt go in my mouth. My shirt must have been thirsty too. Well this just about sucks. So I grab a straw out of the cupboard. Yeah, so Im sitting there on the phone with Girlie while sipping my drink from a straw and wondering where the hell my ear ran off to. She found it amusing. But let me tell you, when that stuff wore off, I was thrilled to find the other half of my tongue. An hour or so later my ear decided to return to the side of my head but my jaw was hurting something fierce. For three days my jaw ached. And just think, I have three more cavities that need to be done. Two being teeth in the front of my mouth. I know come Christmas time I will be singing that all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.