This Is Gonna Hurt....

This Is Gonna Hurt....

I need a fan and some tacos for dinner on this one. Im sure you all get the reference to it. Shit isnt going to hit the fan. It already hit it and its a hell of a mess. This is absolute crap. Yep. And Fermi, its not from the cat. Although at this point, I wish it was. As MapleDog just told me... And I quote... Its not to late to join the army, its more peaceful in Afghanistan.

Also, I would like to add something else to this blog. Totally random. Like anything else I write. Why in the world do they make sweat pants with flimsy pockets in the sides? I mean, what in the world made them think that I could wake up, still groggy, and put these things on correctly? I woke up from a nap, put on my sweats and my foot went right into the pocket. Of course I pushed a little harder thinking that the pant leg was folded and the next thing I know, I hear a tear and my foot is through the pocket. Good grief. Can this get any worse?

Also I would like to have some prayers, thoughts or what ever to my mom. Im worried sick over her right now. I called there tonight and Mousie said that she was really sick. Upper abdominal pains and they are running all sorts of tests. Blood work came back clear though. No fever. But Im extremely worried that it could be something worse. I really dont need this right now. But Im scared shitless. Wow the words shit and crap are appearing in my blogs a lot this week.

Today was not a glorious day. I woke up miserable. Im losing sleep over all this stuff. I need a vacation. One that would allow me to win the lottery first though. One where I would never have to suffer financial loss for the rest of my life. But you and I both know that it will never happen like that. Cinderella's Fairy God Mother will not be making a visit to my house any time soon.

When it was time to leave for school, I hit the bottom of the stairs and looked out the window. Its snowing. WTF??? Snowing? Are you for real? I didnt need this. Not at all. So I bucked it up and went on about the task of getting myself to work. I think Im dragging my ass to low here. This is not going to be a good thing. The Gods are playing a really sick game.

I pulled into work and knew that this day was going to be an interesting one. I have a field trip first thing and then I have to run to the new school to see whats going to happen to me next. I know its going to be a doozy. Im hoping to at least be placed with a kid that would make this all worth while. But the way things are going, Im sure thats going to be shot all to hell.

I get into school and learned that something terrible happened yesterday. My teacher had to leave a little early yesterday to take care of some business. Apparently while she was on her way to do that, someone hit her car and shes in a bit of pain. She shouldnt be in school at all. But she wanted to be there for the field trip. Shes a trooper for doing this. I know shes hurting. So she was going to take a half day and go to the doctor. We would be leaving at about the same time. This should be interesting because the sub that is for the room is one the kids all hate. Yep. Interesting is a good word.

The field trip was a good one. A few of the classes went to see a musical called Blues Journey. It was about a man that was looking to get into the Blues scene in Chicago. I was sitting low in my seat for a short kid behind me. I was enjoying the music and just relaxing. I closed my eyes and took a much needed break. The next thing I knew, my kid slapped me and told me to wake up. Yep, Cami was sitting in front of me. She reached back, slapped me and yelled Wake Up. I wasnt asleep. So it was quite a shocker. Funny though.

We left the place and headed back out into the cold and wind to get back on the bus. I was dreading this trip back because I knew I had to leave for my meeting. It was a bit later than I thought. I planned to get this done and overwith and be back in time to take my kids to lunch and recess without them having to have an aide. Wasnt to work out that way though.

I left my room with the kids settled back in. I wished my teacher good luck and to take it easy. This is not going good so far. But at least they are in the hands of a teacher that is strict enough to handle them. Also another teacher will be coming in to teach them something for science. This is somewhat a small relief. Not a big one but enough.

I drive to the new school in dread. Im not ready for this. I walk up the long sidewalk to the front door. I ring the bell and wait for the door to open. My gutts are turning and Im sure a pained look was on my face. I hate the anxiety of all this. Im nervous and its making me sick. But I have to put a smile on my face and get through this the best I can.

I was let in by the secretary. Shes a nice lady and I know who she is. I was told to wait in the hall for the principal. He is with a parent right now and it would only be a minute or two. I walked in the lobby for a little while and looked at the art work and some goodies on the walls. I noticed the pictures of the teachers and watched the kids walk by on the way to lunch. Not sure which would be mine or not. I recognized a couple of them from my past schools. They recognized me and I got a hug or two. That sent me some relief. The principal noticed this and he liked it that I was well liked by these kids. Ok so that is a small plus.

We went into the office and sat down to get to the task at hand. I talked to him about my hours and he reassured me that we could work something out. He understood that this was all thrown at me. He told me that I came highly recommended and that I had the experience to get the job done. That I used to work with all age groups and that I was trained for special ed. Well yeah, that is my current job.

Then he told me what my new job would be and thats when my whole day went completely to pot. I am now moved up a level. This might screw me in the end. Once you go up levels, you dont go back down. This means that Im stuck. But its not a total bad thing. Means more pay for the next year and a more higher level of responsibility. Oh joy. But remember that I come with a high recommendation. That might help me when June comes and I will have a job to come back to.

I am now going to be working in Special Ed K-2 Containment. Not a bad deal. I love working with the littler ones. You know, before hormones kick in. Ive done this for a few years. Not a big deal. In fact, when I first came to the school Im in now, that was my job. Special Ed Kindergarten. Not a big deal.

But the hard thing with containment is that its going to be a little more rough. These kids are not able to be in mainstream like Im used to. This is a more unsettled environment. Bringing someone new to that routine might not be a good idea. Especially for the adults as well. I will need to learn their personalities and the other staffs personalities as well. I will need to learn the routine and get to the point where I can tell what is acceptable and what is not with specific kids. Each one needs something different to maintain their own structure. This is going to be interesting.

I was brought up to the room and its now lunch time for them. The easier time of the day. I was introduced to the people I would be working with. Im not going to remember their names yet though. But I should write them down next time. But regardless, what I saw when I walked into the door was pretty much what I expected. One kid went slap happy and two others were in restraint. I was informed that this happens a lot. Wonderful. Just what I needed. Well at least I wont need to worry about my feet hurting. I will be on the floor most of the day. Whoohoo. Can you smell the sarcasim there?

So I left there with a small feeling of dread. But at the same time, it was ok because I knew what was in store for me for the next 50 days that are left of school. I can tough this one out. I have no choice. But I will miss the kids I have now and I will miss those that I work with. They are giving me the support and the reality of it. My worries about Cami's morning and afternoon routines are not going to be affected. I will be able to work with that. That is a blessing and my new boss understands that. I think this will work out fine.

My friends at my old school understand it as well and they are not willing to let me go either. But I will be there regardless and I will be there for my kid's concerts and stuff. I will be putting in my days off and half days early so that I can make sure that I dont miss out on all that. At this point, I dont care what they say. They are throwing me a hard ball. The least they can do is allow me some time with my kid and her achievements. If not then I guess I will find another job somewhere else. My kid comes first.

I will keep you updated on what happens next. I still have to tell my kids in my class what is happening. We were going to tell them today but that wasnt possible.

Stay tuned.