My Ass Hurts....

My ass hurts....

Seriously, it hurts like hell. You know when you do something you arent supposed to do and they tell you that you used muscles that you havent used in a long time? Well I think this is one of them. And no I wasnt doing something naughty this time. Especially something naughty with my ass.

Today was Sharing Success Day at school. For those in the real world, we always have known it as Field Day. For some damn reason, the powers that be insist on changing the names of everything because there is some jerkhead out there that cant handle the truth. Halloween is now Character Day. Christmas in now A Winter Holiday. Easter is A Spring Day. Whatever....

Anyways, for those interested, today was Field Day. We all got a little notice in our boxes yesterday of what assignment we would be getting. Somehow I ended up with the Tug-of-War. Oh yeah Baby!! The fun one. Not. Dont get me wrong, this is one of my favorites. But not with some of these kids. Oh hell no. This means doing battle. They seem to lose track of the fact thats its all fun and games. And with this game, it means someone will lose an eye.

So I started off the morning very pleasantly. I grabbed a water bottle and headed to my station. A nice shady spot under the trees in the field. Im in between the egg rolling thing and the waterballoon sheet tossing. Fun times to be had. This rope is huge. And its heavy. It would take a chainsaw to cut it.

I set everything up and sit and wait. I also have a highschool girl as my helper. We dont have any class for the first 15 minute round. Well we have class but not any kids. Then comes time for the fun to begin. We start off with one of the special ed classes. There are only a few kids in this one so it shouldnt be too bad. One of the kids is a monster. He can pull all by himself. So what do we do? We get an adult on the other side. And guess who that would be? Yep... Me.

So the bell goes off and Im pulling. Pulling my ass off to be exact. That damn rope hurts. By the time we are done, Im in pain. My hands are swelling up and my ankles are sore from digging into the ground.

We filled the morning with all the classes from PreK to 2nd grade. Alot of kids and alot of various ways to set up teams to pull. By lunch time, I was sore as hell. My hands were swollen and my feet were killing me. I think it would have been better to not have the adults in on those.

Lunch was fun because a few of us gathered in the break room to chat about the events of the morning. While doing so, one of the ladies popped a water balloon on her lap. At least it wasnt me this time. I didnt pee my pants. I could have while laughing. I went outside and sat on one of the benches to wait for the afternoon rounds. I dont think I was going to be moving from there too soon. At least they could have carried me down there.

Next up is one of the 6th grade classes after lunch time. There are alot of kids here. So they wanted to do a boys against the girls thing. This was actually the boys idea. Well they lost. And bad too. So we did a rematch. This time I got on the boys team. We won. So now the girls are mad because there was an adult on the other side. Like that really matters. So their teacher gets on their side and the boys side still won. Then we started to do matches with 5 on each side and then one on one. Fun to be had.

The next one was the other 6th grade. These kids are a little bigger and we had a few adults get involved. By now my hands are killing me even more. Im pretty much soaking them in the cooler. Its 3pm and time to clean up. I gathered a couple of the 4th grade boys to bring the rope back up to the gym. There was no way I was carrying it.

I finally drag my sorry ass up the hill to the school and head to the lobby to get prepared to do the buses. There is no way that Im going to stop moving because my ass would lock up and that would be a very bad thing. The two things that seemed to hurt the most is my heels and my ass bone.

Yes there is something called and ass bone. Its right in the middle of my ass and it hurts like hell. I think its in the same area as my tail bone from my spine. So that makes it an ass bone. Why the bone hurts, I dont know. But Im guess its muscles that I havent used in a while. I still dont get that. I dont remember those muscles even being there in the first place.

So I finished up and decided to go sit in the break room til it was time to go home. Boy was that a big mistake. They announced for us to sign the books to leave and I couldnt move. I think I dragged myself in there on all fours because my feet were screaming at me.

Now I have to somehow make it to my car. Once in there, I now cant get out. I make it home and crawl up the stairs. I made it to my bed and I couldnt move for at least an hour.

Now here I sit. I took about 1200mgs of IBs and my chair seems to have attached itself to my ass. I can barely sit in one spot. Gawd forbid that I have to stretch or move to go get a drink. Can someone please help me? I cant find my feet. My hands are completely numb. I tried going to the bathroom but once in there, I could barely sit on the toilet. Now getting back up was a huge chore. Could you imagine if there were other bodily functions involved?

All in all it really was a fun day. Im really not as hurt as I say I am. Im pretty damn sore though. These kids only had to pull that rope a couple of times each. I was pulling every time to even things out. And some of those adults, including male teachers, are strong as hell. I just think I pulled a little too much. But seriously, my ass hurts.