The People Under The Stairs

The People Under The Stairs....

Well maybe not people but just my father. He lives in this nifty apartment that is half below and half above ground. Very roomy two bedroom apartment and the bills arent that high there. Hes been there for the past 20 years or so and I dont see him moving out any time soon. Although I would appreciate him moving to the first floor at least.

The reason I say this is because that apartment is as close to hell as Im willing to get. I will go back a few years to 1999. Yeah its more than a few years but you know what I mean. Ok its seven years.

It was a stormy night in the beginning of August. Friday the 13th to be exact. It was storming and raining really bad and the water flooded into his apartment. Not a hell of alot I could do about it because I had just gotten home from the hospital after having my daughter. My ass was not about to be going anywhere anytime soon.

Needless to say that his floors were toast and anything on them was too. Over the next few weeks alot of repairs and cleaning was done and all was made fine again.

Now a couple of years ago, yes two this time, the same thing happened again. You would think that the landlord would have learned from before. Nope. Im guessing not. The floors had about 8 inches of water on them and this time even the furnaces were flooded. The damage was very extensive. Im sure its going to cost an even bigger chunk to fix this one.

Well alot of books in some boxes were destroyed and some furniture. Even the apartment across the hall was flooded. She wasnt too thrilled about it either. By she I mean the new building manager. You can bet your butt that something is going to be done this time.

Well we had to move everything out of her apartment and into my fathers. They in turn ripped out the front walls and replaced them and painted. Then brand new carpet went in. Now we have to move all of my fathers stuff into her apartment and do the same.

Both of them were compensated for rent and utilities because while this was all going on, neither could live there for a couple of months. Yeah how inconvienient. But all in all it looked much better. And they also were compensated for some new furniture as well. Finally my father gets a new bed that is easier for me to work with when I go there to clean his place.

Anywho, we now return to the present. All these problems were fixed. Even out on the main roads, flood walls were put up to prevent flooding into this place. Good job Mr. Landlord. Its about damn time.

But now we have yet another problem. When they ripped out the old walls in the front, behind it was 2 x 4s and insulation that was replaced. But behind that is a concrete building block wall. Remember that its mostly below ground. That alone will tell you that there will be moisture and insects in this place.

Yes the insects are fun. Not. Spiders and centipedes gallore. But dont forget one other fun little friend. The termite. Yeah termites. When that front wall was was removed, you wouldnt believe the fun to be had with termites. Im sure that the building crews had a field day. Count me out. I wasnt sticking around. There is a big difference with one bug with a million legs compared to a million bugs in one place.

So that was all taken care of. Or so we thought. Now mind you that the front windows are right at ground level. He never opens them up. Hell I dont blame him. For all I know, the neighbors cat or a friendly squirrel would hop on in for a visit. Yep, I can see him now with those visitors. I will be at the door selling tickets. Thank you for coming. Hope you enjoy the show.

Well up under the top part of these windows is all wood. Recently in the last couple of years, this has become the new home for carpenter bees. If you are not familure with these fun and furry friends, they look like big black bumble bees but they arent. The males of these bees dont have stingers. I dont know how to tell the males from the females and Im not about to go and find out.

Now these bees burrow tunnels into the wood and lay their eggs that way. They dont make hives. They make the side of your house as one big hive with a really cool tunnel transit system. Mind you they are also good for something else. Eating termites. Yes this is their diet. Good thing that this building has a never ending supply of them or they would have to go hungry.

So now with the carpenter bees completely knawing away at the front walls of the house, the termites pretty much said holy shit and took off running for their little lives. Im guessing that the route that the took was up over the ceiling though. The floor is solid concrete under that carpet. Hell if they went that route then I would be moving really quick. I dont want any super termites that can knaw on rocks. Gee dad, what the hell are you feeding them? Plutonium?

Anywho, this brings me to this post. I get a call today that he wants me to come over to patch up a few holes. A few holes? I know what hes talking about. The termites have moved to the inside walls to avoid the carpenter bees. A few holes? How about a few tunnels that have caved in the sheet rock. His walls look like a road map for cripes sake.

The only hole that I know of that can be classified as a hole is the one in the kitchen that he made. There was a time not long ago that he decided not to use the step stool that I got for him and was standing on a chair. Yep, you guessed it. The chair snapped and he went flying sideways and put his shoulder right through the wall. Hit his head and broke his collar bone and cracked the shoulder blade. What a mess he was after that one. He now uses that step stool alot more often.

So pretty much tomorrow is going to be an entertaining day for me. I get to go over and sit on the floor and attempt the miracle of spraying the hell out of these tunnels and then filling them with putty. All this while he is leaning over my shoulder telling me how to do this. Hed do it himself but he cant sit on the floor. Well he can but it would be a hell of a show for him to get back up again.

I'll be outside selling tickets.