Ughhh....Bugs

Bugs suck. Im more ways than one but they still suck. Im sure most of you remember the fun we had with Lots-a-Legs and Godzilla. At least you were having fun reading about it. I had to live it. Good thing I was in the bathroom already with Godzilla. That thing was enough to make me pee my pants.

Ive dealt with the whole bug thing because I pretty much have no choice. I live in a really old house. So there will be some other "tenants" around now and then. I try to avoid them as much as I hope they would avoid me. I even have the little electronic things plugged into every room to make them go away. It seems to work for the most part. At least the ones that crawl.

They can live outside all they want. They just need to stay away from me. Bugs play a very important part in the whole ecosystem. They pollenate and do all sorts of good things for the environment. Well except mosquitos. I still havent figured out what their purpose is except to suck the blood out of me and leave a nasty mark that just makes me want to itch it. Of course when I do, it just itches even more. Nastly little bastards. Oh and they are food for spiders. Christy, dont read that word.

So why am I posting about bugs again? Because today I was a bug magnet. It seems they like me. I dont think that they take hints very well. Hello? Bugs!! I hate you!! Go Away!! Yeah that was fun. Not like they would listen anyways. But this morning I got some revenge. Not much, but at least some. No, I dont get a thrill out of this. I get goose bumps.

A couple of more bugs that are completely useless are fleas and ticks. What are they for? What do they do besides suck the blood out of animals and people? Why cant the fleas and mosquitos get together and suck the blood out of each other? Oh yeah, they have to feed on me first. Nasty little bastards.

So this morning, I got up and went to the bathroom. Looking around at the ceiling, I see a couple of friends that are out for the morning peep show. They are way up in the corners so I cant get to them. As long as they stay up there, Im ok with it. So I left and started to do my chores. Yeah I consider dishes to be a chore. I hate doing them. I dont have a dishwasher. Oh yeah, I forgot that I do. Me. But anywho, I later have to use the bathroom again. And sure enough, they are still there. They must be sleeping.

Hmmmm.... Maybe while they are sleeping they wont notice me in the shower. So I quietly slip in and take my shower. No peep show for you today. Wrong. I swear they must know. I stepped out of the shower and they are gone. I looked around and didnt see them anywhere. They arent up on the ceiling above the shower. Thats a good thing because it hurts to shower while straining my neck around to see where they are. They have a tendancy to drop down for a closer look. I think they have learned not to do that because they know that I will drown them. Nasty little bastards.

So I figured that they went into a crack somewhere. No not mine. So Im wrapped up in my big fluffy towel and Im standing in front of my mirror brushing my hair. I have a little shelf just under my mirror where I put all my things that I will be using. I reached for my tooth brush and WHOA!! I guess I know know where they were hiding. Right on the wall behind the cup. One took off scurring up the wall and went into a crack near the ceiling. How he fit in there I dont know. He was quite fat. He must have been eating alot of mosquitos. For that I will let you live one more day.

The other, however, was brave. Brave little buggers dont survive. Go ahead and stand there staring. It gets you nowhere. Except wrapped up in a wad of toilet paper and flushed to the water gods. So I get my little wad of paper and go in for the kill. But hes not there. Damnit. Where did he go? I looked around everything. I still dont see him. I dont dare touch anything because he may be on it and that means I would have to touch him. That just doesnt happen. I will scream. And scream loudly.

But I had to move something. I know hes there hiding. So I moved my curling brush. Yep. There he was. He ran up the wall and tried to get away. Fast little one he is. I wonder what hes been eating. Hope it was good because he had his last meal. So he now changes direction and runs down the wall. Hes heading for my shelf unit in the corner. Oh no you dont. If I let him behind there, I will never catch him. So I grabbed more paper and cut him off at the pass. The light switch, anyways. Say good-bye Sam. *flush*

Ok, so now I can get back to what I was doing. I finished up in the bathroom and went out to my room to get dressed. I know there isnt anything in my room but a cat sleeping in her bed and the dog sleeping on mine. Im now dressed and ready to face my day.

I head back out into the kitchen to finish my dishes and I had one of the dogs dishes in the rack to dry. I filled it with clean water. I went over to her food spot to exchange it for the dirty one. I put the clean one down and just as I picked up the empty one, something moved. Oh gawd, here we go again. I put her water dishes on a towel. She has a tendancy to splash when she drinks.

What ever it was is now hiding in one of the folds in the towel. So I carefully fold the towel up even more and I carry it into the bathroom. Seems the porcelain god gets another treat today. I opened the towel and proceed to shake it out. Nothing fell in the bowl. Oh crap. I know I didnt drop him along the way. So I opened the towel wide and there it was, crawling all over the place. OMG its HUGE!!! Its one of those red Lots-A-Legs. I cant stand them. I start screaming while shaking the towel like crazy. Cami is behind me giggling. She thinks its funny so I told her to do it. She ran to her room. Smart girl.

A mom will protect her children. And to get rid of these bugs, is a way to protect my child. If I didnt, I would have to listen to her whine and cry about it. But she thinks its a great trip to watch me make a total ass out of myself. But this thing scares me. I really hate things with more than four legs. Something with six or eight is one thing. Something with a hundred is a whole new ball game. It freaks me out like nothing else.

So Im dancing around my bathroom with this thing scurrying all over the towel. It touched my hand a couple of times and I nearly peed my pants. What am I going to do with it? It wont come off the towel. So I laid the towel face down in the tub and turned the water on. I will have to drown it this way. I can see it moving under the towel. Should I take the plunger to it before I drown it? That way it wont run from the water. Im a cruel one huh?

Before I could grab the plunger, it comes out from under the towel and starts to run up the side of the tub. Why wont this thing drown? It knows how to swim. Crap. So I grabbed the cup on the sink and filled it with water. I dumped it on the bug and sent it back into the tub. Go down the drain!!! Nope, its crawling up the other side. So I dumped water on it again. I turned the tub off and put the water on in the sink. This worked because now it went down the tub drain with the water. Im waiting for it to come back up. Usually they do. But this time it didnt. I turned the tub water back on and let it run for a while. Bye bye.

Wow, what a morning this is turning out to be. I finished all my chores and its now about noon. The dog has to go outside again so I put my shoes on and head down the stairs. I opened the back door only to be greeted by Zoe. Her and Mindy take off running around for a little while. Both stopping for pit stops here and there. Good thing they can be friends. I really wasnt in the mood to seperate them. While they are both in the far back of the yard doing their business, I hear the door upstairs close and footsteps coming down the stairs. Cami steps out on the patio with me and we just wait for the dogs to finish.

Her: Mom, there is a bug flying around.
Me: There are alot of bugs flying around.
Her: This one is white.
Me: A white bug?
Her: Yeah.
Me: What is it?
Her: I dont know but its by your head.
Me: It wont hurt anything.
Her: *swatting* Its now by me.
Me: Kill it then.
Her: Ok
Me: Did you get it yet?
Her: No but it landed on your back.
Me: O_O
Her: Dont worry, I will get it.
Me: O_O
Her: *picks up thick stick* WHACK
Me: OWWWW
Her: Its dead now.